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All week I’ve been considering what to share with you this Memorial Day Weekend. The sudden unexpected home going  of my friend Wayne Tuesday morning was bittersweet- he was certainly ready for the journey, but since his passing, I have learned there was so much more to his life than I knew about, and now it is too late to ask. Although in the past five years, I’ve been profoundly touched by a number of local brothers, numerous authors, etc., with the exception of Loretta, I can say Wayne has pushed me out of my spiritual comfort zone more than anyone else.

Wayne is the only person I recall who got me riled up sufficiently to write him  a 1500 word email and then never sent it. Understand though, there were some longer that were sent and likely had been better not sent! Experiential wisdom perhaps!   For by the time my epistle to Wayne  was done, I was healed since God revealed that its message was really more for me rather than him. I must say however I still think it was some of my best writing so far as I did reread it twice since his passing.

A book by Matthew Kelly “A Call to Joy: Living in the Presence of God” has been on my “to be consumed soon” pile for several weeks and I just finished it this evening. I am realizing of late I am now developing an attachment to certain books I read, perhaps similar to the artist who admires a particular panting by another artist, or a musician for another performers rendition of a certain piece. Only with me, it is not because of any identity with the struggle of process or inherent ability, but rather because of an identity with the message. This book could have been my message, no, actually it should have been my message when I was 23 in 1971. Just one small problem though, when I was 19 and a sophomore at Hesston College, I was not listening for a whisper from God, or spiritual insight from our campus pastor, Peter Wiebe, or even my roommate, Lavern. Strange, how I earlier knew I was called but then veered so far off the track for so long.

Perhaps that explains the propensity I have for this author and the message of this book. It’s simply me. It connects the dots. It explains me and the way I think, and the way I think many others think… the under-girding realization that we were designed to live in the moment, always. Not in the future, not in the past, but right now, and totally captivated by the immensity of God’s love for us. Not merely a box we checked off as a youth during Bible School or summer camp, or rechecked again as young adult when we blew it and everyone knew it. No, discovering God’s love for us is such an adventure, living in the moment is breath-taking, like doing 360’s on a stretch of deserted icy Rt 30 and experience no damage. In fact no one else even seen it so you get out and take pictures of the tracks for proof later. I’ve done that. That’s living in the moment. Friendship with God. Real relationship. Acknowledging appreciation for his protection. Realizing I need friends that will do three things for me: teach me to love; teach me to be loved; and lead me to God! And of course, we must reciprocate.

Sometimes I summarize books and email my summaries to the “qualified inquiring minds” ready for such truths. However, this paperback ranks high enough to be read by everyone and in their library for quick referral or loan. For example, consider this clip taken verbatim starting on page 33 before we introduce the book properly.

To breathe is not a right; it is a gift.

One of the first steps toward being able to recognize and be in touch with your divine plan is discovering the difference between a right and a gift. In the modern Western world we have an interesting combination of an overdeveloped sense of rights and an overdeveloped ego. When the two are mixed together, they form an extremely harmful formula known as U4, (unfulfilled, unhappy, unsatisfied, and unbearable).

Even a small dose of this U4 in our lives prevents us from being able to see the plan. Worse still, it renders us blind to the miracles in our life. And failing to recognize the miracles in our lives is one of the major problems in our world. I don’t understand why I am alive, or why I wake up each day, how I breathe, and many other things, but I do know that one day I will not wake up. Death, however, is not the mystery. Life is the mystery. Life is sacred.

Life is to be reverenced in all its forms.

Life is a miracle. But like most people who have wandered through this world, I do not spend enough time pondering the sacredness, the mystery, the wonder, the gift of life. However, whenever I have reflected on the mystery of life, my days have been greatly enriched.

Now I try to open myself to this life by trusting that I am right where I am right now for a reason. There is a plan, a glorious plan – a plan full of miracles.

What follows is the way I have chosen to introduce you to this book; its first four paragraphs and then the final six pages. Enjoy the read!

In the midst of all the hustle and bustle of the world, there is a whisper in the marketplace. The whisper is the voice of God. He is calling to you. He is beckoning to you. He is gently inviting you to a quiet place, and His call is a call to joy.

If you listen, you can hear his voice saying, “Come to Me.“ He is calling you into His presence so that your life may become a dance of joy. 

Joy is not simply a feeling of happiness. Joy is the all-intoxicating feeling of becoming. It is the greatest of emotional and spiritual sensations. We experience joy when we grow, and we grow when we live in the presence of God and listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. I have spent 23 years on this earth and just four years ago I heard the call to joy.

As I was preparing for bed on the evening of April 7, 1993, I realized that I was at a crossroads in my life. Getting into bed that night, I reached for my Walkman from the bedside table so that I could listen to some music before I went to sleep. As I did, I sensed a strong external presence that was urging me not to pick up the Walkman. I ignored the sensation. When I put on the headphones, I had a similar feeling, only this time it was twice as powerful. Again I ignored it.

I turn my Walkman on, and after a few seconds of listening to the music, I felt the same urge for a third time. This time, however, it was almost overpowering. I knew it was something I had never experienced before. I took my Walkman off, got out of bed, and fell to my knees. As I knelt there in the darkness and silence, I asked myself why I was kneeling in the middle of the room at this hour. But before I could answer this question, I heard a voice speak to me – a voice as clear as any voice I have ever heard. “Keep doing what you are doing. Believe in yourself and believe in Me,“ the voice said.

I looked around. There was no one else in the room. My brother was asleep and snoring in the room next to mine. I looked around again, but somehow I knew I wouldn’t find anyone. Thirteen words, yet because of them, my life would never be the same.

An Invitation      Pg.198

In these pages I have tried to share with you the plan of life that the voice of God has proposed to me over the past four years. I have established that the purpose of each human being is to struggle and grow toward his or her fulfillment. It is the struggle, this growth that brings a person joy. This joy is a foretaste of the union with God we called heaven. 

For more than four years now, I have engaged in this struggle. It has been the most fulfilling exercise in my life. I have never known such joy and serenity as that which I know when I engage in the struggle.

Just as there are many aspects of our daily lives as human beings, so there are many aspects to this spiritual struggle. I have tried to cover as many as possible in these pages. However it is not important that we cover every aspect. What is important is that we understand the general principle.

If your goal is to allow the image of God to increase in you by struggling to grow in the likeness of Jesus Christ, then this is the general principle: every moment comes bearing a gift.

Each moment is an opportunity. Every set of circumstances provides you with a chance to learn, to grow, and to love God, yourself, your neighbor, and all of creation. Prayer opens your heart and mind and allows you to see these opportunities. Often they will cost you something. What you receive is always  more than what you are asked to give. He that gives lives.

Love is about stepping out of the comfort zone.

Life is meant to be a dance for joy. Be careful how you define joy in your life. The soul hungers for this joy and the journeying soul is always seeking it. The journey is the joy. The joy is the struggle. The struggle is the journey.

Take time to listen occasionally, and to remember the following:

The journey is the struggle to seek, discover, and live truth.

The joy comes from the struggle.

Remember “the struggle“ is the struggle to better yourself, to change, and to grow with courage and patience.

Only two things exist in eternity: joy and misery.

You will not be any happier today than you were yesterday unless you do something different, or at least in a different manner, with a different state of mind or heart.

There are some basic guidelines for making resolutions. Make few of them, preferably one at a time. Write each resolution down. Resolve first to perform your duties and obligations. Examine yourself with regard to your resolution early in the morning and before you retire at night. Do what you resolve. PS And when you do fail, do not quit. Trust in God, humble yourself, and renew your resolution.

Often it is the ordinary, the everyday, the material stuff that connect us with the spiritual.

Love is truth lived.

Joy is the fruit of appreciation. It is impossible to love someone you do not appreciate.

Suffering puts us in touch with what is really important. Sacrifice spells out commitment and confirms love.

The Spirit is joy. When we sin, we choose misery and reject joy.

Prayer allows us to see the person we are and the person we can be.

Truth is the only thing worth living for and the only thing worth dying for.

My obedience to what I know is right brings me joy. My disobedience to what I know is right brings me misery.

Joy is not the absence of pain.

Strength of character comes from prayer.

Your fears are a passport to a new state, to a higher level, to a greater joy.

We become what we love.

What you become is more important than what you do.

This path is a difficult one. It is a path of struggle and heartache, and you will experience both victory and defeat, and defeat upon defeat, but if you persevere you will emerge victorious and fulfilled.

The struggle has a single goal. The tools that help us to maintain the struggle have a single aim. The goal is to live in the presence of God – to recognize that “God is with us, and indeed, within us.“

When Mary came to visit Elizabeth, we are told that the child, John the Baptist, danced for joy in the womb of Elizabeth. Why? He was in the presence of God.

We also read in the Scriptures that David danced for joy before the ark of the covenant. Why? He was in the presence of God.

When we live in the presence of God, our lives become a dance for joy.

There is only one goal, there is only one aim, to live in the presence of God. It is what we desire for eternity and indeed for every moment of our existence.This single idea represents everything good that we desire. Peace, joy, love,happiness belong to those who live in the presence of God.

I have shared with you the principles and ideas that the voice of God has shared with me. I offer them to you as they were offered to me, to be accepted and employed, or rejected and discarded.

For Your Reflection (FYR)

There was once a very wise old hermit living in a small cave high in the mountains. Late each evening, he would walk for many miles, praying and reflecting on the beauty of creation with which God has surrounded him.

One night when he returned to his cave, he discovered a thief who had come to rob him. The hermit’s presence startled the thief, and an uneasy silence filled the cave. After a few moments the wise old man said to the thief, “I have only three things in this world: The bowl from which I eat, and you can have it; the mat on which I sleep, and you can have it; but the third thing I could not possibly give you, so gather the first two and be on your way.“

Far from being satisfied, the thief only became curious about the hermit’s third possession and said, “What is the third thing you cannot give me?“

The hermit replied, “Follow me,“ and led the thief out into the night. They walked through the mountains for miles without exchanging a word until they came to a lake. They stopped on the shore and the hermit stretched his arm out toward the lake and pointed to a beautiful shining silver disk in the middle. The thief stood and stared in silence.

The hermit said quietly and gently, “There is the third thing. It is the face of the moon reflected in the water. It is the wonder and the glory of God reflected in His creation. I come here often, and I contemplate the wonder of God and His creation. I recognize the love that God has for His creation. I see that his love for me is great. It is out of this love for me that he has surrounded me with such beautiful, complex, awesome wonders. Yet while they are magnificent and beautiful, glorious and mysterious, I know that they are only a dim reflection of the God who created them – so great is God. It is in recognizing how wide and deep God’s love is that I see that the love of God I have experienced in my life is only a portion of the love that he has for me. I see the need to open myself a little more to His love.“

A silence fell between the two again. The thief knew he could not possibly take this from the wise old man. More than this, the thief was in awe of the fact that here was a man who had something so great, something of greater value than anything he had ever possessed, yet nobody could ever take it from him.

The hermit stretched out his arm toward the disk once again and broke the silence, saying, “I can point you to it, but I cannot give it to you.“

Go now and seek it and you will receive abundantly.

Seldom have I see a book written as a short story or a mini-novel that presents such a concise and precise presentation of the Gospel in story form in a manner becoming the Anabaptist tradition of not merely making converts, but rather, enabling seekers to become empowered and transformed disciples of Jesus Christ. And the clincher in this short encounter of Nick with Andy, is that its setting is in a real and functioning Christian community, and urban at that, never mind the struggling main character, Nick, at the end of his rope without hope!

I propose it is this book’s emphasis on “discipleship in community” as what distinguishes typical evangelical outreach oriented events such as crusades or men’s events, from the three basic tenants of Anabaptism as presented in Harold S Bender’s landmark documented presentation to the American Society of History in 1942 and later published as “The Anabaptist Vision.” These three tenants are (1.) discipleship for transformation-page 18, (2.)voluntary church membership based on true conversion with a commitment to holy living-page 26; and (3.) the ethic of love and nonresistance as applied to all human relationships – page 30. Please understand me to say loud and clear I believe both methodologies are needed to work in tandem to achieve meaningful church growth.

“How Can Anyone Say God Is Good” was written by Gary Miller, who was raised in CA and today lives with his wife Patty and family in the Pacific Northwest. Gary works with the poor in developing countries and directs the SALT international programs for Christian Aid Ministries. This program offers business and spiritual teaching to those living in chronic poverty, provides small loans, sets up village savings groups, and assists them in learning how to use their God-given resources to become sustainable.

Below is my summary of the 78 page story which is italicized. Immediately after, is a must read, the “Author’s Journey” preparing him for the writing of this story. Contact me if you desire a free copy of the book and join me in its distribution.

Nick is a white male, three years out of college, a computer techie grad, under-employed as a letter carrier at the post office who after a big fight with Jessica, his live-in of 2 years, finds a note explaining she had quite enough and has moved out and of all things, has moved in with his best friend Eric, with whom she had been developing a relationship for the past several months. To top it off, she took their savings and the rent was already two months past due and he was about to be evicted.

As children, he and his sister had been taken to church each Sunday by his mother, taught to pray, and he still remembered some of the verses and songs from Sunday School, all the while his father chose to stay home and watch TV. 

But that all abruptly changed when Nick, then twelve, and his sister came home from school one day and found the house locked and a note from their mom saying she was starting a new life running off with a man from church and they’d not seen  her again. Presently, he has no relationship with either his father or sister and was truly, all alone; even his two best friends, had now shut him out. He was left alone with no money, and now about to be evicted from his apartment strewn with empty beer bottles and pizza boxes. Nick also drank too much and he knew it.

The evening following Jessica’s departure, while carrying his bike upstairs to be safely placed in the apartment, the rear wheel got caught on the railing somehow wrenched from his grip and tumbled down the stairs messing up some spokes and a brake cable. This would require a visit to Andy at his bicycle shop the next morning who turns out to be a major player in Nick’s messed up and lonely life for the next weeks as detailed for you in this 78 page mini-novel.

This Andy is a real mystery to Nick, in that frequently there are people engaged in deeply personal conversations with Andy when he delivers his barrage of first class mail from all over the US. And then there is always all this food appearing, which Andy frequently shares with his visitors, saying they just can’t eat it all. But the one big negative about this mysterious Andy, is that he is so winsomely religious; not at all the “in your face you’re going to hell” type, for Nick has witnessed frequently in-depth counseling conversations, and even actual prayers being offered with a client in the shop.

 The one thing that really irks Nick no end though is the big sign over Andy’s desk that says “God is Good!” Nick has experienced considerable relationship pain in his short life, but he did well in his classes at the university and now knows first-hand that belief in a supreme being may sound wonderful to many simple minded people, but when life gets difficult, a fictitious  god won’t solve real problem’s in real people’s lives. In fact, Nick has been down right rude to Andy on several occasions ridiculing him for his religious crutch for people who couldn’t handle reality. And Andy would never show any anger; he’d just listen and frequently even tend to agree with Nick’s observations.

And besides all that, Andy spoke of his church over on Fifth St but Nick never could find it. He knew the area well since he delivered mail in the neighborhood and there is no church on Fifth St. And then, there was the thing about his back rent mysteriously being paid, and how Andy loaned him his own bike when Nick’s was in for repairs. And where was his wife anyway? Nick was so confused. Never had he ever met anyone quite like Andy, so generous and loving to so many.  

And unfortunately, most of us in our culture of separation and individualism, seldom do. But down thru history for the past 2000 plus years, there are persons just like Andy who hopefully exist in your community, who believe and practice daily God is Good, and that He desires you experience spiritually more than becoming merely a convert, but like Nick did, to experience Christ in being discipled in community among believers who live their lives in simple loving obedience faithfully sharing with and loving their neighbors as family. It is our hope and prayer that this short story provides you or someone you may know, with exactly the desired “dose” of “loving hope” to brighten your/their day. For you will soon see when reading the story about Nick, how can anyone really not say, That Our God is Good?

Contact me for a free copy of Gary Miller’s book “How Can Anyone Say God is Good?”  merlin.erb@gmail.com or text / voice 330465-2565. These books are available from CAM for $1.00 ea. in quantities of 50 or more. Join me in using them as tracts as you are nudged by Holy Spirit to share your hope. Imagine offering hope and community to 50 seekers for less than you and your spouse spend twice eating at your favorite buffet. Purely Perspective!

The Author’s Journey as written by Gary Miller (pages 79-88)

Although the characters in the story How Can Anyone Say God is Good  are fictitious, the doubts express by Nick are not. Many people who are honestly seeking truth are asking similar questions. All of us are aware that things are not right in our world. An inner voice tells us something is seriously wrong, and we find ourselves asking questions like, Why can’t people get along? Why are human relationships so difficult.? Why does poverty still exist?

Governments and aid organizations have poured billions of dollars into humanitarian aid, yet hunger continues. And what about politics? I have heard people ask why modern, educated, democratic nations can’t even come up with good candidates at election time.

In light of all the scientific advances man has made, why do we still have ethnic cleansings, cruel dictators, school bullying, and mass shootings? Why do a few have so much wealth and the masses so little? Are we really able to map human DNA, travel in space, and produce a vast array of amazing electronic gadgets, yet still not feed all the children?

These things trouble us. Surely things could be better. All the pain and the inequalities we see should not exist. This leads us to the questions Nick struggled with; how can anyone believe that God is all powerful and good if he’s in control of this mess?

I don’t know if you’ve struggled with this question or not, but I have. I was raised in a Christian home and taught that the Bible is true. Yet, deep down inside, I wrestled with many questions. Where did this world come from? Is it possible, in spite of what the Bible teaches, that our universe came into being by some cosmic collision? Could it be that my existence is just the result of some freak molecular accident?

Or, if, as the Bible teaches, God actually exists, how could he be loving and still allow evil to wreak havoc? As a young man this perplexed me. Today I look at this question from a different perspective. My work takes me into impoverished developing countries, and I spent time with people who live in abject poverty. I work with children being raised in deplorable conditions. Many live in a cycle of poverty that seems almost impossible to reverse. There are open sewers, no clean water, and little hope of meaningful change. Disease, famine, and natural disasters plague them constantly. How can a loving God see all this and allow it to continue? Doesn’t he care about the human misery?

I have wrestled with all these questions, yet have chosen to believe. I have come to trust in a living God who is all powerful. That doesn’t mean his path to faith has been easy.

As I have searched for a logical answer to the question of origin, I have found evolution to be woefully inadequate. If evolution is powerful and miraculous enough to convert pond scum into the incredible complexity of life we observe around us, by now it should have easily resolved lesser issues like world poverty, human relationships, or harsh dictators. Those are simple issues compared to developing something as complex as the human eye. And further, evolution never even attempts to answer the large question of where that original pond came from? Who put it there?

Why don’t we hear more regarding this real and critical question of origin? The answer seems obvious and points to a reality that many don’t want to discuss. As I observe the complexity of this amazing world we live in, I cannot escape seeing evidence for a Designer. If there is an effect, there must first be a  cause.

I have also come to believe that this Ultimate Designer loves humanity. And while I’m not a scientist I have used the scientific method to come to this conclusion. My choice to believe is based on observation. Let me share what I have observed.

From childhood I have been surrounded by individuals who profess to be followers of Jesus Christ. Church life for me has been very similar to what Andy and Teresa experienced with the little group on Fifth Street. I have seen huge financial bills paid anonymously, groups of young people singing to those who are suffering, and people finding gifts of food in their kitchens. I have experienced free assistance on home-improvement projects, felt an arm around my shoulder while dealing with extreme disappointment, and found nameless envelopes stuffed with cash during difficult times. These people are not perfect, but they really want to be like Jesus Christ. They see the teachings of Jesus not simply as hard sayings intended to show us how bad we are, but as God’s original intent for our world. God wants us to love, share, and care for each other. He desires a world where people are concerned about the hurting, and his church today is to be a demonstration of his desires for the world. If our entire world were like the people I have been surrounded with, it would be a beautiful place.

I have seen changed lives. I have watched selfish men and women place their faith in Jesus Christ and become totally transformed. I’ve seen this locally, but also in many places around the globe. I think about a husband and wife in Bangladesh who recently found Jesus. In their community she had a reputation as an obnoxious quarrelsome woman. She came to faith in Jesus, and a few months later her husband began inquiring. This couple lives in an area where believing in Jesus means risking martyrdom, so people wondered why he would choose to become a Christian.

His response was simple “Before my wife decided to follow this Jesus, she was selfish and difficult to get along with. Now she is loving and completely changed. I have looked at my life, and I am very self-centered and can be hard to get along with. I just want this Jesus who made such a drastic change in her life to be in my life as well!“

He simply saw something powerful enough to transform, and he wanted it so badly he was willing to risk persecution. This is why I have come to love the Bible, the message of salvation through Jesus Christ, and the power he provides to those who believe.

These are just a few examples of things I have observed in the lives of those who have chosen to follow Jesus in daily life. There are still many things I don’t understand. Yet I have seen enough to know that God is at work in our world, and, as the Bible tells us, God will make things right in the end.

Several years ago I was riding a bus through the city of Manila in the Philippines. Manila is one of the densest populations in the world, and a large portion of the city is a slum. The traffic crawled, and took most of the day to get to my destination. So for hours I sat looking out at extreme poverty slowly passing by the window: rusty tin shacks, dirty half-clad children, domestic violence, and horrendous living conditions. After a couple hours of this,  I suddenly became aware that I had tears running down my cheeks. This was so terribly wrong! Why is so much of the world like this?

As I wiped the tears, another profound question struck me: Why does this bother me? What is it that tells me there is a problem with this picture? If we are just cosmic accidents, freaks of some explosion, why does pain and suffering in fellow humans concern us? If there is no Creator, no absolute standard of right and wrong, and no ultimate truth, why are we troubled?

The answer was both obvious and comforting. Compassion for others spoke to me, not of some strange cosmic coincidence, but of being created by a compassionate Creator. Internal empathy reminds me that I am more than the result of colliding molecules. The Bible tells us that God created us in his image. And I found great comfort in realizing that if creation isn’t content with how things are, it’s because of a Creator who isn’t either.

Yet I want to be very clear. Though I have chosen to believe in and follow God, I still have many questions, and there are many things I do not understand. I have lived close to people who have endured chronic pain for many years. I don’t understand why God doesn’t just heal them. I don’t know why bad things happen to good people. I don’t understand why some extremely poor countries repeatedly get hit with hurricanes, tsunamis, and crop failure. Nor do I understand why God created pleasure or why he is so extravagant with sunsets.

I can’t comprehend why God has allowed the face of Christianity to become so marred –  why he allows professing Christians to bear his name and claim they are all following a loving Jesus while promoting violence, bombing, and military aggression. How can people claim to follow Jesus without following him?

But I also see things that give me great hope. Things that increase my faith in God. I have observed blessing coming from suffering. I have seen God work redemptively in situations that look like tragedies. I have seen many followers of Jesus choose to live in extremely difficult and dangerous places around the globe in order to help others. The power of Jesus Christ within has empowered them to walk away from safe, middle-class America, motivated by a desire to bless the less fortunate. I have watched believers here in the United States bring aged parents into their homes during their final years, knowing that caring for them will greatly curtail their personal liberties and social lives. The list could go on.

In short, I have seen God working in the lives of others and felt his love and power transforming mine. And I’ve observed and experienced enough of his redemptive power to trust him for what I cannot understand. Some situations still seem so wrong, but I live in confidence that the Bible is true. And a day is coming when all these wrongs will be made right, when evil will be overcome by good, and when those who follow Jesus now will live forever with him in peace.                                                                                                                                                                               
But there are still many things I don’t understand. But I have seen enough that in spite of my questions, I have become one who openly proclaims, ”God is good!” Pages 79-88.

Blessings as YOU GO FORTH this coming Memorial Day Weekend. Plant a memory worthy of recall!                              Merlin

Perhaps you recently encountered my Triple D business card and you are thinking whatever happened to NSWS Labs and even the more recent Ohio Dairy Records? Best said, they’ve been replaced, and finally! That era of my life is no more. And assuredly, it was kept operational far longer than was either wise or even desirable. I enjoyed the people and most of the events but actually, when Ohio Dairy Records was sold off in 2001, I should have retooled then as I am doing now and stepped forth into new arenas.

Fact is though, I wasn’t prepared for such a transition then. I had not matured sufficiently and I’ll not bore you with all the details. Historically, even by middle school I already sensed a call from God on my life and during my sophomore year at Hesston (Oct ’67) while driving a college campus missionary from India (I keep wondering now if he knew Ravi Zacharias back then) to Tabor College one evening, he really got in my face about me needing to attend the annual Urbana IL Missions conference during Christmas break and I refused. Again, during the summer of ’73 while working maintenance at Starcraft evenings and Goshen General Hospital days as a lab tech, there was a national conference held on GC campus concerning the activity of the Holy Spirit in Mennonite congregations and again, I felt compelled to attend but again, I refused. Three distinct memorable refusals and countless others, of course, long forgotten!

Actually in 2001, soon after the sale of Ohio Dairy Records, I had been accepted at Ashland Seminary as that was what I always thought and said was next for me . My wife Loretta however, stepped forward then and quite wisely and truthfully informed me of what was very obvious to her at the time; I had greater responsibilities at home with our two younger sons for the next five years until they completed high school than I did for whatever Seminary might have tried  to prepare me for.  She wisely knew I wasn’t the father or husband I should have been then on my turf, and succinctly told me I had no business thinking I could be trained to help other fathers and husbands toe their lines either! Furthermore, she knew that it was really a heart problem with me, likely a unique variation of “congestive heart failure”, simply because my heart was so loaded down with all my past personal baggage (pure garbage actually) that I’d been carrying around for years in my egotistical workaholic stupor!

Now, you’re thinking, “Jeepers Merlin, I really didn’t want or need that much info. You’re pretty hard on yourself.” Fact is for all you readers, that was the Sunday School version, you really don’t want to hear the Saturday Night Live version! Unfortunately, Loretta discovered only days into our marriage that I was going to require far more retooling than she was capable of offering me on her own. 

So, she very wisely early on without any professional help, summoned Holy Spirit to help her honor her covenant commitment to me thus beginning a forty year process to restore and retool “Merlin” to the original design God had planned before I so selfishly upset the cart. And He did! She was the model wife never complaining and always seeking and praying for the healing of my heart. Spousal problems can exhibit many symptoms and chase you down many bunny trails, BUT from what we’ve observed, spousal problems virtually always begin with a heart condition. More often than not when peeling back the layers of hurt, the root cause was simple selfishness. Love is a choice. And if you’ve been following me recently, you gotta know I’m going to say “The Seven Levels of Intimacy” is the first secular book to read to really understand communication. Simply monumental.

Details of this forty year process are not relevant for this discussion. Fact is though, Loretta was relentless in providing me books, cassette tapes, then CD’s, and eventually both Kindle and Audible  to rehab me. Seriously now, do you know anyone who has been someone’s “project” for forty years? I can understand perhaps as a mother, but for a wife to stand in there day after day in hope that her vision for her husband would actually ever be accomplished. Seldom if ever!

Now, just take a moment longer and consider the gratitude I now have for her patience with me. Next, consider the remorse I feel now for the all pain I caused her! And the debt I owe her is simply staggering. Actually, as disciples of Christ, most of us were all in quite  similar circumstances with our former sinful state and the debt that was paid for our freedom and  the abundant life we now enjoy as we daily “recalculate our spiritual GPS” in Christ. Today when asked how I am, I frequently reply “I am a blessed man.” You likely thought it was from merely being able to walk again. You have absolutely no idea how blessed I really am on so many fronts!

Loretta has become very much an expert over the years securing pertinent materials to communicate truth to me, and yet, even today, selects over 90% of the books I read. This will no doubt change somewhat as I shift now into the coaching realm as I enter into conversations focusing on personal growth, relationships & transitions whether business &/or personal. I lovingly tell her that in our home she is the master coach in residence, and I’d not be surprised at all, and in deed, would welcome the opportunity for her to be involved with me in select assignments, considering the wealth of experience she brings to the table. Unlike me, she has invested well in life and is now content more than not, to just enjoy her retirement with purpose, and to do so, hopefully with me.

Coaching is well served by life-long learning on many fronts which I’ve been actually unknowingly  preparing for my entire life. People who know me and understand coaching, affirm coaching is a good fit for me. My spirit confirms it as well because coaching really is in essence now, the God given desire of my heart. And as I too approach retirement, coaching offers me flexibility in both scheduling and location.

 I have always enjoyed meeting new people and more recently, engaging them in meaningful conversations while in the throes of their challenges, whether they be in personal growth, relationships or transitions. For me to transition into coaching now, appears to be  my next “calling,” as it is so naturally occurring for me. With God’s continued leading and empowerment, we trust we will find it both rewarding and fulfilling for us and those with whom we walk.  

Blessings as YOU TOO GO FORTH>>>>                        Merlin

Matthew Kelly in his recent book “The Culture Solution” says there are two main reasons things don’t get done as needed in organizations. I include the next three paragraphs as they are necessary to introduce and better understand the intricacies of meaningful relationships as influenced by dreams, hopes, and expectations, (DsHs&Es), whether at home or in business. The following is verbatim from that book except my italicized comments in the last seven paragraphs. Enjoy!

First, leaders don’t create clear, mutually agreed upon, written expectations. Second, even if  #1 does get done, leaders and team members don’t hold each other accountable for those clearly defined written expectations. Most leaders think their team members know what is expected of them, and most people think they know what their leaders expect of them. Both assumptions are flawed. The result is the emergence of an expectations gap between leaders and direct reports.  

The hardest expectations to meet and fulfill are the ones you don’t even know about. Forget about products and customers for a minute – I have a five-year-old daughter. She has expectations of me, but many of them I would never know about if I didn’t talk to her about them, asking her questions, even probing a little, because her little heart and mind may not even be able to articulate them. And even then, as hard as I try, there will still be times when she thought something was going to happen and it didn’t. There is nothing quite so heart crushing as the unmet expectation of your five-year-old little girl.

Everyone in your life has expectations of you. And guess what, you have expectations of everyone in your life too. This is all natural and normal. But it is impossible to meet expectations that we don’t even know exist.

And we are just talking about expectations here; we haven’t even ventured into the arena of hopes and dreams. When “The Dream Manager” was first published, I was doing a workshop for a family business in California. The business had participants from three generations of the family. The grandparents had started the business, their children had carried it on, and their grandchildren were now working in it.

They were beautiful people. They were truly salt of the earth, as they say. Three generations of character on display: honest, fair, hard-working, generous, and loving, the kind of people you want to surround yourself with all the time.

During the morning session one of the exercises was to make a list of the individual dreams they had for themselves. There were about 80 family members in the room and after they made their list we went around the room and I asked each person to share just one of their dreams with everyone.

As we went through the exercise switching back-and-forth between generations, it became obvious that they were discovering things about each other they had never known. You could tell that what different family members shared surprised the others. Finally, we made our way to the patriarch and the matriarch of the family. The grandfather was a kind and gentle man, and he deferred to his wife to go first. It was clear that they had both lived rich and full lives, and I don’t think anyone in the room was prepared for what was about to happen.

“When I was a little girl growing up, I never dreamed my life could have been as wonderful as it has been. We have never lived a lavish life, not because we didn’t have plenty of money, but because we decided very early on in our success that simplicity was one of life‘s overlooked riches. So, as I sit here this morning and listen to you all speak about your hopes and dreams, I am so happy for the lives that you have before you, and you know Papa and I will do anything we can to help you fulfill your dreams. For myself, my joy comes from watching you fulfill your dreams, but I do have one dream….

As she uttered these words, the room got very quiet; in fact I’m not even sure I have ever seen a room get so silent so quickly. Some people leaned in and others unconsciously moved toward the edge of their seats. Then she continued, “For my whole life, I have always wanted to go to New York City and see a Broadway show.“

There was a collective gasp from the group. They were thinking so loudly you could hear them. How did we miss this? How is this possible? And of course, the dark realization that in all these years nobody had ever asked her what her dreams were. They looked over toward papa, as they called him, and tears were streaming down his face. His anguished expression said, “I have failed my beloved.“

One week later they had her on a plane to New York, accompanied by three of her children, five of her grandchildren, and her loving and devoted husband. She saw five Broadway shows, ate at some fabulous restaurants, and fulfilled a lifelong dream.

Now,here’s the point. Most people have never had someone ask them what their dreams are. It is one of humanity’s relationship blind spots. Why don’t you change that for somebody special to you today? Maybe start with your spouse? Your kids? Listen hard! Their future (and yours too) depends on it!

Perhaps this is the appropriate time for me to share something that I am just now beginning to learn. Think with me here as I will try to explain. What are your dreams, hopes, & expectations (DsHs&Es)? Be careful now not to merely think of your material wants and needs for frequently the truly miraculous DsHs&Es are spiritual in nature and not merely confined to touch, sight or accomplishment. Very few adults today (as could I) can even tell you three of their DsHs&Es, let alone any details. Perhaps this is made more difficult because we are so influenced by today’s “get real and grow up now”  instant gratification culture. It seems the prevailing premise today for virtually everything is NOW; to wait and deny oneself is a pain and totally unnecessary.

So, perhaps one “fix” is as simple as giving ourselves permission to think creatively, (you know, we were given profound intellect and scientists are being more impressed daily) especially when it’s a vision for ourselves, perish that thought!  Research proves and the Bible states and implies frequently, we become what we think about. Science again, is verifying that in new dimensions daily! I maintain a component in an active vibrant prayer life is envisioning not only what “should be” but with God’s help what “could be” for ourselves and others by divine intervention.

Consider the potential of our prayers if we first engage our minds in seeking to understand the desires of not only our hearts, but also the heart of God. And then together, for those whom we pray that God would “touch” as only He can …. But shame on us!  For, far too often, we’ve not even actively pursued God’s DsHs&Es for ourselves, let alone engaged in any meaningful conversation with our spouse, significant other, family & friends about the DsHs&Es God has planted (or desires to plant) in their minds. And we wonder why our “prayers” don’t seem to go anywhere?

I’m guessing most persons in your sphere of influence are so struggling just to survive in their daily “arena” of living, that for them to even think, there may be someone else who would even care about their DsHs&Es (even if they could identify them when they do“surface,”) and then to meaningfully dialogue with them about pursuing their DsHs&Es, and hopefully in time, to pray with them and for them, as they are pursued.

Books are written on this stuff everyday. I say keep it simple, as Tony Souder does in his book “Pray For Me:The Prayer Champion’s Guide to Essential Prayer for the Next (I say ALL) Generation(s), when he says daily “Father, open my eyes so that I may see you more clearly, savor you more fully, and share you more freely.”

Blessings as YOU GO FORTH, hopefully with Renewed Vision for the Dreams, Hopes, and Expectations of your life and others, today, tomorrow and beyond>>>>             Merlin

PS:  I compare acquiring and implementing your personal vision for your own DsHs&Es prior to sharing with or instructing others, as similar to the importance of being instructed on an airplane to always first put on your own oxygen mask before helping anyone else; only in this case, helping involves “becoming an empowered knowledgeable life giving participant also on the journey home,” and not merely the neighbor in the adjoining seat with the necessary skill to capture the momentary sustenance, oxygen. Now,  can you see your big picture and the importance of DsHs&Es in the healing of humanity more clearly?

Actually, I imagine there are books are written on this single premise. Perhaps I just saved you some significant time!

Matthew Kelly, a business consultant and author of The Culture Solution from which the following is taken, says “I find myself asking people certain questions all the time.” One of those questions is; “What do you do here?” I am amazed at how many employees cannot answer this question in a clear and concise way.

No doubt many of you heard the following story about the Notre-Dame Cathedral when construction had just begun. It was 1163 AD and a man was walking along the river Seine in Paris when he noticed a huge new building site. He approached the site and found men laying bricks. It was late in the afternoon and the workers were tired and sweating.

He asked one worker, “What are you building here?“ He replied, “I’m just laying bricks.“

He ask another worker, “What are you building here?“ The worker scoffed and said to the man, “Are you blind? I’m building a wall.“

Frustrated, the man began to walk away, but as he turned he bumped into one of the other men, who was also laying bricks. “What are you building here?“ he asked.

The builder stopped working. He stepped back and beckoned to the man to do the same. Then, looking up toward the sky he said, “We are building a cathedral.”

“Cathedrals are beautiful,“ the onlooker commented.

“You have never seen a cathedral this beautiful“ the bricklayer replied. “This will be the finest cathedral the world has ever seen. It will tower above the city, men and women will marvel at it, and people come from all over the world just to see it.“

It took 182 years to finish that Cathedral. Those who began building it never got to see it completed. It is 420 feet long, 157 feet wide, and 300 feet high,and with all of France’s rich history, incredible sites, and phenomenal art, it is still the most visited attraction in France each year. With 13 million annual visitors, that is almost twice as many as the Eiffel Tower and 4 million more than Louvre.

It is the Notre-Dame cathedral. Men and women of all faiths and no faith come to visit Notre-Dame de Paris and marvel at it. It is most unfortunate it suffered a devastating fire a week ago.

Mr. Kelly goes on to say that “I heard a very similar story about JFK while he was president and visiting a NASA facility. During the visit he saw a restroom down a side corridor and excused himself from the formal tour to use it.

Seeing a man mopping the floor, the president introduced himself and spoke briefly with the janitor, who beamed with pride at the unexpected opportunity. Noticing this, the president asked, “Do you enjoy your work here?“

“Oh, yes, Mr. President. It is an honor,“ the janitor replied.

“Most janitors probably don’t feel that way, I suspect,“ the president proposed.

“Well, Mr. President, I’m older than you, and it seems to me that more and more people just want to be served and don’t want to do any serving. But my father taught me that we are all here to serve one another, and we get our dignity and honor by serving.“

“What else do you do here?“ President Kennedy asked.

The janitor smiled. “I only do one thing here.“

“You mop floors all day?“ the president inquired.

“Nope,“ the janitor replied, smiling again. “People see me mopping floors, emptying trash cans, cleaning windows, but in my mind, I’m working to put a man on the moon.“

The president used the restroom and left. But as he got about 10 steps away from the janitor, he turned back to him and said, “Do you think we can do it? “

“Yes sir, Mr. President, I can see Neil-I mean, Mr. Armstrong, walking on the moon in my mind’s eye.” President Kennedy turned around, looked down, and smiled as he walked down the hallway to rejoin the dignitaries.

Mr. Kelly continues saying that when someone asks you, “What do you do here?“ there are really only two answers. Everyone should have both ready, and the awareness to know which is more appropriate at the time. 

1. The Aspirational Answer

We should all be able to answer the question like the bricklayer and the janitor: “We are building the finest cathedral the world has ever seen. ““I am working to put a man on the moon. “ The world is full of the ordinary, and it doesn’t need any more. The aspirational answer connects what we do each day with the larger mission of the team or organization.

2. The Practical Answer

The second answer is more practical. It is disturbing to me how many people cannot clearly and concisely describe their role within an organization. I overheard one of my executive assistants a few weeks ago speaking with a visitor. “So, what do you do here?“ the visitor asked.

“I am Mr. Kelly’s executive assistant,“ she replied.

“OK, but what does that mean day-to-day? What is it that you actually do? “The guest pressed her.

“My role is to do anything that will make Mr. Kelly‘s role and life easier, so he can focus on doing the things that only he can do. Sometimes that means managing his schedule and sometimes it just is making sure he has something to eat for lunch.“

The visitor wasn’t finished. “But tell me truthfully, what’s the hardest part of your role?“

“Saying no gracefully,“ my assistant replied. “I spend a lot of time saying no to people. “

“What do you do here?” Get clear about that. Why? Lots of reasons, least of which is in case someone asks you. When you can answer the question, you will perform your role at a much higher level. If you don’t like the answer to the question, you probably don’t like your role, and you should do something about that because life is short. There are many people who woke up this morning who won’t go to bed tonight, and many who will go to bed tonight but not awake in the morning.

AND so, I, Merlin writing now, ask myself once more, as I have more in the past six months than ever prior in my life, “Just what am I doing here? What is my purpose?”

I tend to believe we all need a “big picture” answer (the aspirational component) regardless of our age, and more so, the older we become, just to help us focus and maintain our emotional health. I suspect many of us if we’re really honest with ourselves, tend to  avoid this mental exercise of contemplating “Why am I here or what do I do?” When we’re younger and working two jobs, raising a family, we have plenty of activities to hide behind but do understand, we’re not talking about your trivial pursuits that consume both your energy and time, but rather what is the foundation of your very existence, what  is it that continues to propel and sustain you through financial losses, relationship blow-ups, premature deaths, vocational transitions not of your choosing, a wayward child, etc.?

Perhaps I read too much spirituality into some of these business books, but truth be told, I’m concerned too many of us in the pews this Easter Weekend or even weekly, really  need to work on answering these two Kingdom Building questions; aspirationally, and practically. Do we even know, no, lets ask rather, have we ever looked for, searched extensively for hours, to find out the “big picture” for our life in light of God’s supreme sacrifice of his Son in that kangaroo court on a cruel Roman cross that we will gather in worship to commemorate later today?

We’re not merely members of a social club here, such as with motorcycles or gardening or a high school drama club, but rather we’ve been purchased, redeemed, provided a remedy, etc. from our sin by that one weekend in history by the death and resurrection of God’s Son, Jesus Christ. And to think, after that supreme sacrifice to set me free from all my past, present, and future sin, that I just may be at a loss for words (or even thoughts) concerning my life’s purpose in “laying bricks” in God’s Kingdom? I guess the devil doesn’t really have much to worry about from me provided I never get Holy Spirit inspired and transformed so as “work out my salvation in fear and trembling.”         

So what are we doing here? I suggest you take a page or so in your tablet and just write out what he brings to mind and in time, you’ll craft a succinct statement of your Kingdom purpose, including your talents and desires. Because if you are a transformed and empowered Christian, your personal brand will include being committed, coachable, aware, of indisputable value, unique, and of course, one hopes, always a professional.

Happy Easter and Blessings as You Go Forth With Purpose>>>>           Merlin