Perhaps you recently encountered my Triple D business card and you are thinking whatever happened to NSWS Labs and even the more recent Ohio Dairy Records? Best said, they’ve been replaced, and finally! That era of my life is no more. And assuredly, it was kept operational far longer than was either wise or even desirable. I enjoyed the people and most of the events but actually, when Ohio Dairy Records was sold off in 2001, I should have retooled then as I am doing now and stepped forth into new arenas.
Fact is though, I wasn’t prepared for such a transition then. I had not matured sufficiently and I’ll not bore you with all the details. Historically, even by middle school I already sensed a call from God on my life and during my sophomore year at Hesston (Oct ’67) while driving a college campus missionary from India (I keep wondering now if he knew Ravi Zacharias back then) to Tabor College one evening, he really got in my face about me needing to attend the annual Urbana IL Missions conference during Christmas break and I refused. Again, during the summer of ’73 while working maintenance at Starcraft evenings and Goshen General Hospital days as a lab tech, there was a national conference held on GC campus concerning the activity of the Holy Spirit in Mennonite congregations and again, I felt compelled to attend but again, I refused. Three distinct memorable refusals and countless others, of course, long forgotten!
Actually in 2001, soon after the sale of Ohio Dairy Records, I had been accepted at Ashland Seminary as that was what I always thought and said was next for me . My wife Loretta however, stepped forward then and quite wisely and truthfully informed me of what was very obvious to her at the time; I had greater responsibilities at home with our two younger sons for the next five years until they completed high school than I did for whatever Seminary might have tried to prepare me for. She wisely knew I wasn’t the father or husband I should have been then on my turf, and succinctly told me I had no business thinking I could be trained to help other fathers and husbands toe their lines either! Furthermore, she knew that it was really a heart problem with me, likely a unique variation of “congestive heart failure”, simply because my heart was so loaded down with all my past personal baggage (pure garbage actually) that I’d been carrying around for years in my egotistical workaholic stupor!
Now, you’re thinking, “Jeepers Merlin, I really didn’t want or need that much info. You’re pretty hard on yourself.” Fact is for all you readers, that was the Sunday School version, you really don’t want to hear the Saturday Night Live version! Unfortunately, Loretta discovered only days into our marriage that I was going to require far more retooling than she was capable of offering me on her own.
So, she very wisely early on without any professional help, summoned Holy Spirit to help her honor her covenant commitment to me thus beginning a forty year process to restore and retool “Merlin” to the original design God had planned before I so selfishly upset the cart. And He did! She was the model wife never complaining and always seeking and praying for the healing of my heart. Spousal problems can exhibit many symptoms and chase you down many bunny trails, BUT from what we’ve observed, spousal problems virtually always begin with a heart condition. More often than not when peeling back the layers of hurt, the root cause was simple selfishness. Love is a choice. And if you’ve been following me recently, you gotta know I’m going to say “The Seven Levels of Intimacy” is the first secular book to read to really understand communication. Simply monumental.
Details of this forty year process are not relevant for this discussion. Fact is though, Loretta was relentless in providing me books, cassette tapes, then CD’s, and eventually both Kindle and Audible to rehab me. Seriously now, do you know anyone who has been someone’s “project” for forty years? I can understand perhaps as a mother, but for a wife to stand in there day after day in hope that her vision for her husband would actually ever be accomplished. Seldom if ever!
Now, just take a moment longer and consider the gratitude I now have for her patience with me. Next, consider the remorse I feel now for the all pain I caused her! And the debt I owe her is simply staggering. Actually, as disciples of Christ, most of us were all in quite similar circumstances with our former sinful state and the debt that was paid for our freedom and the abundant life we now enjoy as we daily “recalculate our spiritual GPS” in Christ. Today when asked how I am, I frequently reply “I am a blessed man.” You likely thought it was from merely being able to walk again. You have absolutely no idea how blessed I really am on so many fronts!
Loretta has become very much an expert over the years securing pertinent materials to communicate truth to me, and yet, even today, selects over 90% of the books I read. This will no doubt change somewhat as I shift now into the coaching realm as I enter into conversations focusing on personal growth, relationships & transitions whether business &/or personal. I lovingly tell her that in our home she is the master coach in residence, and I’d not be surprised at all, and in deed, would welcome the opportunity for her to be involved with me in select assignments, considering the wealth of experience she brings to the table. Unlike me, she has invested well in life and is now content more than not, to just enjoy her retirement with purpose, and to do so, hopefully with me.
Coaching is well served by life-long learning on many fronts which I’ve been actually unknowingly preparing for my entire life. People who know me and understand coaching, affirm coaching is a good fit for me. My spirit confirms it as well because coaching really is in essence now, the God given desire of my heart. And as I too approach retirement, coaching offers me flexibility in both scheduling and location.
I have always enjoyed meeting new people and more recently, engaging them in meaningful conversations while in the throes of their challenges, whether they be in personal growth, relationships or transitions. For me to transition into coaching now, appears to be my next “calling,” as it is so naturally occurring for me. With God’s continued leading and empowerment, we trust we will find it both rewarding and fulfilling for us and those with whom we walk.
Blessings as YOU TOO GO FORTH>>>> Merlin