right up to the present moment of His continuing renewal and restoration in my life. It took hours to complete with all my diverse and intense bunny trails. I was graciously humbled by the journey thru time, concluded by propelling me to the unspeakable heights outlined in Ephesians 3:17-19, “… you being rooted and established in love, may have the power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” Truly proof of God’s awesome protection and His deliverance, sparing me from even one Near Death Experience during my 75 yeas! Perhaps when I retire I’ll write about my numerous personal Angel Rescued Encounters.
Before I go any further, I want you to be aware NDE’s can be very controversial for many persons. The Handbook of NDE’s reports that 12 different different studies involving 1369 subjects found 23 percent “reported NDE’s ranging from disturbing to terrifying or disturbing.” I have only read two NDE books so far. John Burke, author of Imagine Heaven, trained and worked as an engineer before God called him to ministry. He wrote three outstanding books chronicling his ministry before Imagine Heaven; No Perfect People Allowed, Soul Revolution, and Unshockable Love. I read all three enjoying their perspective, two we used in a SS class. And now his sixth book is titled “Imagine God.” John has skillfully presented his research of interviewing nearly 1000 NDE persons in light of scriptural truths, not to convince us of anything specifically, but rather to present his findings and let us discern greater understandings. Perhaps the greater truth is observed in the life changes we observe in the persons he introduces us to through out this book.
During the last 18 months of Loretta’s mothers life, Loretta was gone well over two months on mission trips and assisting family. At meal time, mother and I, she 96, would listen to this Imagine Heaven on audible books. In fact, spring a year ago, we were halfway thru it the second time. She loved listening to the diverse encounters and the snippets describing heaven, prompting many interesting discussions, all of which I believe were helpful preparing her to transition to her forever home this past September. Now, back to what transpired with me this past Tuesday that set this post in motion.
First, you must know it was the inspiration from Romans 11: 32-37 (MSG) that began this unique journey down my memory lane beginning with my own paraphrase of verse 32:
“In one way or another, God makes sure that we all experience what it means to be so very lost and shackled in the filth of our past sins so that he can personally open the door and welcome us back in,”
33.) Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God, this deep, deep wisdom? It’s way over our heads. We’ll never figure it out.
34.) Is there anyone around who can explain God? Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do?
35.) Anyone who has done him such a huge favor that God has to ask his advice?
36.) Everything comes from him; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him. Always glory! Always praise! Yes. Yes. Yes.”
Now, more about one unique NDE. In the last March post, I spoke of Howard Storm in John Burke’s book “Imagine Heaven: Near-Death Experiences. God’s Promises, and the Exhilarating Future That Awaits You.” Even though I’ve never experienced an NDE as described here by Howard, I do remember twice having an unusually vivid replay of my negative life’s events yet stored in my memory.
You may recall Howard was the ardent atheist former university PhD art professor who is now a pastor in Covington OH. What follows here are some key paragraphs from the book describing Howard’s NDE as chronicled in Chapter 16 “What about Hell” that occurred while taking students on a tour of Paris’s museums when a stomach ulcer perforated his duodenum. Little did he know, but from the time of perforation, life expectancy typically is five hours. The hospital only had one surgeon on duty that weekend, so he and wife, Beverly had to wait. Ten hours later, a nurse informed them the doctor had gone home, and they would have to wait until morning. Howard fought to stay alive, but now he had nothing left. “I knew I was dying…. we said our good-byes. I knew for certain there was no such thing as life after death. Only simpleminded people believed in that sort of thing. I didn’t believe in God, or heaven, or hell, or any other such fairy tales.” Howard closed his eyes and passed. He expected oblivion, but instead, he found himself standing up beside the bed. He opened his eyes.
“Could this be a dream?” I kept thinking. “This has got to be a dream.” But I knew it wasn’t. I was aware that I felt more alert, more aware, and more alive than I had ever felt in my entire life. As I bent over to look at the face of the body in the bed, I was horrified to see the resemblance that it had to my own face. It was impossible that that person could be me because I was standing over it and looking at it… I had never felt more alert and conscious. I wanted desperately to communicate with Beverly, and I yelled at her for her to say something, but she just ignored me… and the next 6 pages describes his terrors traveling toward hell in custody of his demonic tormentors, eventually he became too badly torn up and too broken to resist, and his tormentors gave up because he was no longer amusing.
“As I lay on the ground, my tormentors swarming about me, a voice emerged from my chest. It sounded like my voice, but it wasn’t a thought of mine … “Pray to God.” I remember thinking “Why? What a stupid idea. That doesn’t work. What a cop-out. Lying here in this darkness, surrounded by hideous creatures, I don’t believe in God. This is utterly helpless, and I am beyond any possible help whether I believe in God or not. I don’t pray, period.”
A second time, the voice spoke to me, “Pray to God.” It was recognizably my voice, but I had not spoken. Pray how? Pray what? I hadn’t prayed at any time in my entire adult life. I didn’t know how to pray… That voice said it again, “Pray to God.” And Howard struggled to remember any prayers from childhood, anything with God’s name in it, so he just pieced together all he could recall into a rag-tag prayer of desperation. “Yea, though I walk through the valley of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. For purple mountain majesty, my eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord. Deliver us from evil. One nation under God. God bless America.”
To my amazement, the cruel, merciless beings tearing the life out of me were incited to rage by my ragged prayer. It was as if I was throwing boiling oil on them. They screamed at me, “There is no God! Who do you you think you’re talking to?” They spoke in the most obscene language, worse than any blasphemy said on earth. But at the same time, they were backing away from me. I could still here their voices in the utter darkness, but they were getting more distant. I realized saying things about God was driving them away. I became more forceful with what I was saying….
I knew they were far away, but could return. I was alone, destroyed, and yet painfully alive in this revolting horrible place. I had no idea where i was… I was alone in darkness without measure. I thought about what I had done. All my life I had thought yhat hard work was what counted. My life was devoted to building a monument to my ego. My family, my sculptures, my painting, my house, my gardens, my little fame, my illusions of power, were all an extension of my ego, All of those things were gone now, and what did they matter?
All of my life, I’d fought a constant undertone of anxiety, fear, dread and angst. I didn’t like myself and I didn’t like other people either. How ironic it was to end up in the sewer of the universe with people who fed off the pain of others? I had had little genuine compassion for others. It dawned on me that I was not unlike these miserable creatures that had tormented me…. Little strength was left to resist becoming a creature gnashing his teeth in the outer darkness. I wasn’t far from becoming like one of my tormentors for all eternity.
As Howard lay alone in the dark, feeling himself slip away into darkness, a song he hadn’t heard since childhood came into his head: “Jesus loves me, da, da, da.” He couldn’t remember but three words, yet it tapped deep into a longing and ignited a tiny spark of hope.
“I wanted it to be true that Jesus loved me. I didn’t know how to express what I wanted and needed, but with every bit of my last ounce of strength, I yelled out into the darkness, “Jesus, save me.”… I have never meant anything more strongly in my life,”
And thus began Howard’s journey out of the outskirts of hell. In Chapter 17 titled Life Review, on page 239, we read “Howard Storm had been rescued from the horrors of the outer darkness, and now he found himself with Jesus, paused in space looking toward what he knew to be God’s City. Jesus called in a melodic tone, and seven lights shot across the vast distance from the city of Light to join them. Howard recognized them as angels or saints, more brilliant and beautiful than Howard could imagine, trumped only by Jesus himself. Storm’s words follow italicized.
They asked me if I would like to see my life. Unsure of what to expect, I agreed. The record of my life was their record, not my memory of my life. We watched and experienced episodes that were from a third-party point of view. The scenes they showed me were often of incidents I had forgotten. They showed their effects on people’s lives, of which I had no previous knowledge. They reported the thoughts and feelings of people I had interacted with, which I had been unaware of at the time. They showed me scenes from my life that I would not have chosen, and they eliminated scenes from my life that I wanted them to see. It was a complete surprise to see how my life history was being presented.
As Howard watched his early years being relived in 3-D, he saw how his father’s anger slowly became his own anger, directing his life.
“Seven angels and myself were arranged in a circle in the presence of Jesus while the scenes were projected in the midst of the circle… I saw how I was being trained to repress emotions and was obedient so as to win the approval of my parents. I was also learning that my father completely dominated all of us by the threat of his anger. Although we not allowed to show anger, I was learning what a powerful means of controlling people anger could be…
The angels showed me how my father’s compulsion to be successful was driving him toward increasing impatience and rage with his family. I saw my mother, sisters, and I each developed different means of coping with his unpredictable mood swings… I grew withdrawn and lived in a private world of anger and violence… The angels and Jesus shared their feelings of joy with me when love was expressed, and they shared their disappointment and sadness when we hurt one another. God had put my mother, father, sisters, and me together to love and support one another in our life’s journey to grow in love and spirit. We were adapting our desire to love in unhealthy ways…
I didn’t understand – nor did my generation – that love and sexual relations are not the same thing. We viewed members of the opposite sex as objects to be exploited for sexual gratification… This period of my life was shameful to watch in divine company because I had misdirected my desire to love and be loved… The sexual revolution that I grew up in was opposed to love by promoting counterfeit sexual love as true love. This cultural wave of hedonism was bathed in alcohol and drugs, which are an even further departure from love and the will of God… God brought my wife and I together to learn love. I saw it in my life review. God gives us each other to learn how to love. This is our opportunity…
In my life review, I had to turn away numerous times when I saw myself treating my children in unloving ways. The most unloving thing I did was to be at times so obsessed with my concerns (agenda) that I was indifferent to their needs. The most disturbing behaviors I witnessed in my life were the times when I cared more about my career as an artist and college professor than about their need to be loved. The emotional abandonment of my children was devastating to review.
It was horrifying to see how I had become so much like my father… I begged them to stop it because I was so ashamed of my failure to live lovingly and because of the grief I had caused God, Jesus, and the heavenly beings. The only reason I could bear to proceed with the life review was because of their love for me. No matter what we watched me do in life, they communicated their love for me, even as they expressed their disapproval of things I did… To use vulgar words is beyond poor taste. To use the name of God in crude or empty ways is an insult to our Creator. I was horrified at how it hurt my heavenly company when we witnessed me blaspheming God and Christ Jesus… As my adult life unfolded before us, my self-centered nature predominated, and this greatly displeased my divine company. I did very little that was not in my own self-interest. Other people’s needs were less important than my own desires. This is opposed to the will of God and is the opposite of love…
The angels showed me that we do not earn our love of God by the things we do. God’s love is given without cost or strings attached. We live lovingly because God loves so much. Thank God there is a way to change our lives and be forgiven our mistakes… Only a person who loves God can accept that God would suffer and die so that we may be raised up to life with God. God defeated the power of death through God’s great love for us. Jesus is God’s redemptive act for a fallen world… If a person is not ruled by the love of God, he or she is ruled by hatred for God. Perhaps our greatest hatred for God, or at least, the most damaging to us, is our indifference to God! “
It is said the life review in the presence of God often has the most dramatic impact on the life of a person according to NDE researchers. It clarifies what really matters to God as He shows them that every little action has relational reverberation, person to person, and down through the generations. Some people experience their life flashing before them as they are dying. Most experience the life review in God’s presence as he gently guides them to see what matters. The majority of life reviews start with a question from this Being of Light. They may phrase it in different ways but they all hear basically the same thing: “What have you done with the life I gave you?” It’s not said in judgement, but in love, to prompt reflection and learning.
Imagine when your earthly life ends and you relive your whole life – every moment! Imagine the day God shows you how your faithful, loving acts of service produced a ripple effect of good in God’s economy. God records every thought, every act, and every motive. He promises to reward those who love him and have been faithful to him. Jesus reminds us what to live for: “What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their own soul. Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done.” (Matt 16:26-27). The life review NDErs experience seems to be a preview. It’s not the judgement, but it is an opportunity to live for what truly lasts. Don’t wait for your life review to live for what matters!
Merlin speaking now. So now in summary, to the question “what have you done with the life I gave you,” Jesus told us, “The time is coming when everything that is covered up will be revealed, and all that is secret will be made known to all. Luke 12:2 (NLT).
The message is clear: Live now for what really matters. God wants to set us free from proving ourselves, judging ourselves, or comparing ourselves to each other so we can be free to accomplish the wonderful things he created us to do. At the end of time there are two judgements, and we’ll discover in the next chapter the OT prophets and Jesus tell us about these two separate judgements. The great white throne is a judgement of faith and determines who belongs to God, whereas the bema seat judgement, will be the greatest cosmic awards ceremony ever imagined for all who belong to God. As scripture makes clear, neither judgement takes place until the end of human history as we know it: “
The last four sentences of the April 3 Utmost reading are a positive invigorating encouragement to those of us such as myself, never having been close enough to death to experience an NDE, but have experienced deeply reflective times as I did recently, traveling through all the garbage of my life’s great transgressions. May I encourage you with these four sentences from Utmost.
“Never be afraid when God brings back your past. Let your memory have its way with you. It is a minister of God bringing its rebuke and sorrow to you. God will turn the “what mighta/shoulda have been” into a wonderful lesson of growth just for you in your near future.” Do you recall what I said in the first paragraphs, about propelling you upwards to unspeakable heights of joy for your deliverance from evil as we now bathe in the verses of Ephesians 3:17-19? Read them again. Powerful words.
FYI, ThriftBooks now has one used Imagine Heaven for $6.89 and 50 new hardcover copies for $38.38. Perhaps someone in the supply chain is being greedy? They also have several copies of Howard Storm’s book “My Descent Into Death: A Second Chance at Life,” that I’ve not read yet. I’ll post this Saturday early so you have all weekend to read and digest it, as I’m hoping this post may be more memorable than the coming eclipse, unless you include the possibility of incited media drama generated the days following the 8th. Join me in praying that we’re spared any such trauma…
Blessings as you continue discerning His Truth for your life here forth >>>>> merlin