Lessons In Adversity #2

From Great Days with the Great Lives, by Chuck Swindoll.

Read Genesis 37: 3-35

This is a good time to call to mind several lessons we can learn from Jacob’s family and Joseph’s adversity.

The first is obvious. No enemy is more subtle than passivity. When parents are passive, they may eventually discipline, but by then the delayed reaction is often carried out in anger. Passivity waits and waits until finally, when it can wait no longer, it comes down with both feet! When that happens, children are not disciplined, they are brutalized. Passivity not only blinds us to the here and now, it makes us inconsistent.

There is a second lesson we learn from Joseph’s teenage struggles. No response is more cruel than jealousy. Solomon was right when he said, “Jealousy is as cruel as the grave.” (Song of Solomon 8:6 RSV). Jealousy, if allowed to grow and fester, leads to devastating consequences. If you allow jealousy to rage within your family or between your children, you are asking for trouble. At some point it will manifest itself in detrimental ways.

Enough of the negatives. Let’s find in all this at least one magnificent lesson of hope: no action is more powerful than prayer. I realize that the biblical story does not state that Jacob turned to prayer, but surely he did so! How else could he have gone on with his life? Where else could he have turned for hope?

The same can be said for you and me. Prayer brings power to endure. Those who are older are a source of wisdom for young parents and for children and grandchildren. Single men and women also have much to offer, whether within their own extended families or within the family of the church. Broken, hollow lives can find new strength to recover. It’s at this point I would say Joseph, without question, turned his situation over to God, even as the caravan made its way toward Egypt. Surely he knew, even at seventeen, that his only hope would come through God’s faithful intervention! Surely, he cried out to the one who, alone, was in sovereign control of his future! And so must we!

NEXT UP: Temptations of Prosperity













God’s Training Manual DAY # 1

Read Genesis 37:1-4

Before we get better acquainted with Joseph, let’s take a quick glance at some background information. It will help if you remember that his biography falls neatly in three distinct segments.

          Birth to Seventeen Years (Genesis 30:24-37:2) During this time Joseph’s family was in transition – everyone was unsettled, on the move. A low-level antagonism was brewing as his family clashed ans argued in jealousy and hatred.

          Seventeen to Thirty Years (Genesis 37:2-41:46) This second segment occurs as Joseph reaches young manhood. It seems as though his life becomes out of control. Enslavement, unfair accusation, and imprisonment assault him.

          Thirty Years to Death (Genesis 41: 46 – 50:26). Joseph’s last eighty years are years of prosperity and reward under God’s blessing. He had the classic opportunity to get even with his brothers, to ruin them forever, but he refused, Instead, he blessed, protected, and forgave.

          God continually uses the lives of Bible characters to teach us, to encourage us, to warn us. Who can forget the impact of the truths lived out in the lives of David and Esther, of Moses and Elijah, of Peter and Paul? It’s impossible to leave truth in the theoretical realm when you see it revealed in the lives of real – life men and women. That is what these divinely inspired biographers do; they distill truth and weave it into the fabric of everyday living. God’s training manual is full of lives that inspire and instruct.

          Romans 15:4 states, “For whatsoever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, that through perseverance and the encouragement of the scriptures we might have hope” (emphasis added). This reference to “earlier times” encompasses all the truths written in the Old Testament. And if I read this verse correctly, there are two basic reasons God has allowed us to have the Old Testament available for study and application: first for present instruction, and second, for future hope. God has given us this information so that our minds can learn the truth about Him and about life, and so that we will be encouraged to persevere in the future. Who knows, perhaps beginning even today?

NEXT UP: Lessons In Adversity. Who better than Joseph?

Our world is desperately in need of models worth following.

Authentic heroes. People of integrity, whose lives inspire us to do better, to climb higher, to stand taller. This has always been true.

Maybe that explains why biographies of great men and women have fascinated me throughout my life. I can still remember the first Bible I owned because of the colorful pictures of various characters interspersed through its pages. Each one loomed larger than life as I relived each drama, imagining the sounds, entering into the action-packed scenes portrayed on the pages. I still find delight in entering those scenes from antiquity. My soul is stirred and my heart inspired as those saints of old, people of “whom the world was not worthy” (Hebrews 11:38), play out their lives, make their mistakes, accomplish their incredible feats, and finally pass on into glory. What encouragement! What enrichment!

The words of the Russian poet Boris Pasternik come to mind: “It is not revolutions and upheavals that clear the road to new and better days, but someone’s soul inspired and ablaze.” It is my hope that you will be enlightened and encouraged from beginning each new and better day spending time with the Great Lives you’ll discover in this daily devotional. Since our world is desperately in need of models worth following, here are ten deserving of our time and attention to help us endure the uncertain challenges of the future.

                                                                                                            -Chuck Swindoll

                                                                                                                   Frisco, Texas

Cream still Rises, As Does the Sun, Yet!

Since beginning this blog in late ’18, I’ve searched out and recycled dozens of slightly used devotionals from thrift stores posting their worthy wisdom over the years that captured my attention. The Introduction above is taken from my favorite published 20 years ago and first opened by Loretta and I during the drama of visiting the Republic of Panama nearly two years ago. Each interval of visitation from this devotional book has profoundly blessed us as did my first encounter with Chuck’s radio ministry back in 1980.

I remember it well as I was sitting in my car near the UVA campus in Charlottesville VA preparing myself mentally for an appointment. At the time, I was really struggling spiritually. A decade earlier, while working in the very same vicinity near campus, I was on the top of my game. Now, a decade exactly later, I was in the valley of discouragement & despair because of earlier sinful choices. I was floundering when Chuck’s clarion call came out of my radio that day; I heard every word, loud and clear, and it’s as much of me now as knowing exactly where I was standing in Jr High when I heard JFK was shot! And as with JFK, I have been reminded of that UVA gospel invitation whenever I’ve encountered Chuck over the past 45 years since. I hope you too have such a recollection of being confronted by your sin.

It has always been my intention to introduce & promote reading worthy wisdom among you readers, especially since reading is seriously declining among all ages today. I firmly believe reading worthy wisdom literature today is even more vital to your spiritual transformation, thriving, and subsequent empowerment, than good nutrition and exercise is for an Olympic champion. I’m just old fashioned enough to know in my heart that more good stuff is happening to you inside physically & mentally when you read and digest good stuff, than when you merely watch YouTubes & podcasts. Just as science has now been freed to learn how vital nutrition really is on so many repressed fronts prior, so do I believe spiritual scientists will soon, if they’ve not done so already, validate man’s need to both read and then compose his thoughts from those readings most often by sharing in conversation with other believers; or in my case and Chuck Swindoll’s, by writing them out…

Frequently I introduce you to paragraphs from, if not chapters, to draw you into to buying the book either for your library or even better, your “seeds of ministry loaning bin.” This particular book of Chuck’s is not likely in print but I found several dozen used copies available on Thrift Books for far less than two coffees…. The books title is “Great Lives with the Great Lives.” Thomas Nelson Publisher. Joseph-Moses-David-Elijah-Esther-Job-Paul (Snapshots of Abraham-Samuel & Saul) Future posts will provide you sampling….. merlin

God’s Circle Of Life Was Vividly Demonstrated In The Gospels & Further Explained in Romans So You Today May Enjoy It’s Freeing Perspective!

Reading again thru the 121 chapters of Romans thru Jude as Pastor Bryan suggested for 2025, I was especially impacted and inspired Wed AM when I encountered these verses in my Parallel NIV/The Message Bible from Romans 8: 1-27

With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud.

A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

God went for the jugular when he sent his own Son. He didn’t deal with the problem as something remote and unimportant. In his Son, Jesus, he personally took on the human condition, entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all.

The law code, weakened as it always was by fractured human nature, could never have done that. The law always ended up being used as a Band-Aid on sin instead of a deep healing of it.

And now what the law code asked for but we couldn’t deliver is accomplished as we, instead of redoubling our own efforts, simply embrace what the Spirit is doing in us.

Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them—living and breathing God!

Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life.

It stands to reason, doesn’t it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he’ll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself?

When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ’s!

So don’t you see that we don’t owe this old do-it-yourself life one red cent. There’s nothing in it for us, nothing at all. The best thing to do is give it a decent burial and get on with your new life.

God’s Spirit beckons. There are things to do and places to go! This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who He is, and we know who we are: Father and children.

And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!

That’s why I don’t think there’s any comparison between the present hard times and the coming good times. The created world itself can hardly wait for what’s coming next.
Everything in creation is being more or less held back. God reins it in until both creation and all the creatures are ready and can be released at the same moment into the glorious times ahead.

Meanwhile, the joyful anticipation deepens. All around us we observe a pregnant creation. The difficult times of pain throughout the world are simply birth pangs. But it’s not only around us; it’s within us. The Spirit of God is arousing us within. We’re also feeling the birth pangs.

These sterile and barren bodies of ours are yearning for full deliverance. That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don’t see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

Gracious Uncertainty

it has not yet been revealed what we shall be… 1 John 3:2

My Utmost For His Highest April 29th

Is it your natural inclination to be so precise that you bug or alienate those about you? Do you gravitate towards trying to forecast accurately what will happen next? Do you view your uncertainties about the facts of past-present-future events as a negative; perhaps even a character flaw?

We may obsessively think that we must reach some predetermined goal or sequence, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is simply that we are certain in our uncertainty.

Consequently, we do not put down roots. Our common sense says, “Well, what if I were in that circumstance?” It is difficult to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been.

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life– gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life.

To be certain of God implies that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, when it should be an expression of breathless expectation! We may be uncertain of our next step, but we are certain of God! As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He marvelously begins to fill our lives with surprises, and sometimes, beyond the scope of our imaginations.

When we descend to becoming simply a promoter or a defender of a particular belief, something within us dies. That is not believing God – it is only believing our belief about Him. Jesus said, “…unless you…become as little children…” (Matthew 18:3 ). The spiritual life is the life of a child. Remember your imperfect earthly parents; their love and protection regardless, even with their physical restraints? Well, God’s dimensions far exceed our parents imaginations and potential, and though we are not uncertain one iota of God’s I Am’ness, we do live in the tension of being uncertain of what’s coming next.

BOTTOM LINE TODAY! If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self–righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled.

INSTEAD, CONSIDER THIS! For when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, “…believe also in Me” (John 14:1), not, “Believe certain things about Me”.

GO FORTH TODAY: leaving everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in– but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him in all things!

NEXT UP: We are now practicing Gracious Uncertainty. Join us before the night comes…

WHAT YOU GOTTA DO WHEN YOUR BURDEN IS JUST TOO MUCH!

Psalm 55:22 NIV “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you”

Message “Pile your troubles on God’s shoulder’s – he’ll carry your load, he’ll help you out.”

Stimulated by April 13th My Utmost For His Highest

Folks, there are times when we really need to recognize the difference in His assignments that may become burdensome. There are those that are right for us to bear vs. those burdens that are beyond our current gifts and capabilities, much like I’ve heard answers to prayer summarized: yes, no, not yet, maybe even, never! Attractive burdens beyond our reach or grasp require we’re intimately communicating and discerning under the Spirit’s influence.

First, we should never bear the burdens of sin or doubt; they require our immediate attention. However, there are some burdens placed on us by God which He does not intend to lift off. Rather, God wants us to roll them back on Him— to literally “cast your burden,” which He has given you, “on the Lord….” We are simply not aware how devoted Satan is that we totally destroy our very souls, once we’ve set out to serve God and do His bidding while traveling the sanctification interstate highway of bliss or its detour route, Trail of Tears, depending on His placement at the moment in our HisStory.

Either way, because of the sinful roots that the sanctification tears have yet not shaken loose deep within our heart, mind & soul, nor have they yet been purged by the Son’s Light of Truth, thereby allowing Satan’s negativity to cause our instinctual cultural work ethic desire to kick in taking charge of an apparently failing spiritual situation in our life, thereby setting asunder our initial justification desire and passion for His continuing quiet refreshing moments of intimacy and spiritual refueling, while we transition from milk to meat.

Suddenly we realize, as did Adam & Eve in the Garden of Eden, we’ve been snookered by Satan’s deceptions, we’ve lost our intimate closeness with Him. And just as with other Bible characters, such as King David and Peter’s thrice denial, our guilt will be overwhelming and defeating. We’ve been here before. We’ve experienced forgiveness, renewal, & restoration. But next time, let’s pause, reflect, and simply relish the Spirit’s intimacy, and then roll back on God shoulders those burdens He has placed on us, and his desire to train us for greater spiritual competencies, so as to not allow our spiritual immaturity to hijack our sanctification process to date. He will take away that immense fear of failing after accepting an assignment, or responsibility, replacing our fear (false evidence appearing real) with an awareness and understanding of His I AM’NESS and His empowering presence to complete whatever the task that became a burden, by we humbling ourselves and accepting His help.

Many servants set out to serve God with great courage and the right motives. We disciples, however innocently we’ve become disconnected from the Vine, once derailed and without daily intimate fellowship with Jesus Christ and His body of disciples, are very soon defeated producing a fatal overwhelming weariness in our lives. Other disciples may see this and say, “What a sad end to someone that had such a great `beginning!”

“Cast your burden on the Lord….” You have been bearing it all, but you need to deliberately place one end on God’s shoulder. “…the government (perhaps even confused Anabaptist lone rangers) will not merely accept, but will seek the help of His shoulder” (Isaiah 9:6) my paraphrase). Commit to God whatever burden He has placed on you. Don’t ever just cast it aside, but put it over onto Him and place yourself there with it. You will see that your burden is then lightened by the sense and innate strength of His intimate companionship. Neither should you ever try to separate yourself from your burden. He is trusting you, even training you by opportunity, and will reward you, or not, just as in the parable of the talents.

And that my friend, is another subject for another day.

NEXT UP: No idea. The fact is though, this blog may be suspended until fall because of prior commitments back in Ohio. The next month(s) may well reveal much to all of us.

Until next time and even far beyond, always remain vigilant in His spirit, never internalizing any hypocrisy, fervent in both scripture and prayer, continually watching His fruits (love, joy, peace patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) being formed, tasted, distributed and intimately shared from His orchard (see Galatians 5:22 The Message) by His disciples as encouraged in I & II Peter, and specifically in 1 Peter 3:15-16 (MSG) “Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you’re living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy. Keep a clear conscience before God so that when people throw mud at you, none of it will stick. They’ll end up realizing that they’re the ones who need a bath.”

Why Post This Peterson Document Now?

I believe this freshly released document confirms and details quite profoundly the fleshly intricacies of Man/Woman relationships that many of us have either experienced, seen or not seen demonstrated, that may be yet residing and retrievable in our cerebral memory banks.

As mentioned early on, this document is remarkably without any scriptural inferences which fulfills my present calling of presenting secular readers, whether brand new or long time acquaintances, in my tenuous circle of influence whom may not share our Hope and under-girding Faith perspective. I am continually searching for those unoffensive worthy wisdom documents espousing an overwhelmingly attractive array of practical life truths that are available yet on the internet to everyone.

Since I’m anticipating resistance will be increasingly polarized against Christians verbally sharing their faith, I follow Paul’s model in Athens whence he established rapport with the Greeks before telling them about Jesus. He stood amidst their many idols and commented about their devotion to their many gods (Acts 17:22) Rather than rail against the idolatry of Athens, Paul used their symbols of pagan pride to gain their attention.

Another time, when speaking to educated Jewish leaders in Jerusalem, Paul pointed out his own high level of education in order to earn their respect ( Acts 22:1-2) He never bragged about his credentials, but if pertinent information would give him credibility with a specific audience, he did what he could to find common ground with them. He knew how to behave in a Hebrew household, but he could dispense with the cultural Jewish traditions when he was in a Greek household. He could be “all things to all people” for the sake of the gospel.

Understand, this does not mean we as His ambassadors are to compromise with the world in order to fit in, as an excuse to live worldly lives, assuming that unrepentant sinners will be impressed and want to come to Christ. Paul never compromised God’s moral standards set forth in Scripture; rather, he was willing to forgo traditions and familiar comforts in order to reach any audience, Jewish or non-Jewish.

The following Four Rules of Engagement for Disciples / Ambassadors were found recently in a untitled file and I do not know its source.

  1. We need to listen. We are often too eager to share our thoughts, especially when we know how badly the other person needs to hear about Jesus. It is best if our lives prompt their questions and inquiries inviting us to share our hope in Him as well as His Love for them.
  2.  Be kind, as kindness is often forgotten in the passion of the moment, and especially so in the anonymity of the internet. Kindness and respect never go out of style and are appropriate regardless of the subject matter.
  3.  Be sensitive to culture. Our U.S. culture is changing rapidly and frequently our Judeo-Christian principles are no longer accepted or even understood. By first listening to discern where people are camped spiritually finding commonality with them, we may be able to reach those hungry for a truth they’ve never heard, such as in the worthy wisdom literature I’m collecting and using as bait when fishing for souls.
  4.  Deal with prejudice. We all carry some form of prejudice. Ironically, even those who denounce prejudice of any sort are usually quite prejudiced against those they consider prejudiced! Admitting to God our own pride and repenting of judgmental attitudes and lack of love should be an ongoing process for Christians producing fruit in His kingdom.

Remember, our goal is to be inoffensive in every way except in the matter of the cross. The message of the cross of Christ naturally gives offense, but we cannot water it down. “The preaching of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing.” I Cor. 1:18. When we strive to follow Paul’s example and become all things to all people, we must be willing to humble ourselves, let go of our “rights,” meet people where they are, and do whatever Jesus calls us to do. Since He died to save them, are we not obligated to love them enough to tell them in “ways” they can understand?

BOTTOM LINE:

In attempting this mission, with internet access to worthy secular wisdom literature such as the above document addressing our culture’s number one ailment, relationship pain, perhaps we as His ambassadors can facilitate productive meaningful conversations among our secular readers and friends who may not share our Hope and Faith perspective. Hopefully, all the while, helping them better understand their present relationship challenges moving them towards possible healing, all of which may establish their future trust in Christ. Can you see endless opportunities to share His Love if you’re called or so inclined in a dozen or so of our culture’s hot button topics?

NEXT UP: What To Do When Your Burden Is Overwhelming (April 13th My Utmost FHH)

CLUE #4: The Most Powerful Way He Shows His Love: By His Truly Unguarded Openness.

When a man truly loves and adores a woman, one of the most revealing aspects of that love is his willingness to be vulnerable with her and vulnerability, true unguarded openness, is no small thing for a man. In a world that constantly demands stoicism from men, that teaches them to suppress emotion to be unshaken and unaffected by the chaos around them, choosing to lower those defenses in front of a woman is an act of profound trust.

It is, in many ways, the ultimate sign of deep affection. Why? Because vulnerability is risk. It is the willingness to expose something fragile, one’s fears, insecurities, hopes, and emotional depths, without the certainty of how it will be received. For many men, this is a terrifying proposition. They have been conditioned either through experience or societal expectation to believe that emotional exposure is a weakness that to be perceived as strong, they must always be composed always in control, always unaffected.

And yet, when a man truly loves a woman, he begins to dismantle that armor. He allows her to see, not just his strengths, but his struggles. This does not mean he becomes weak, or that he loses the very traits that make him dependable; quite the opposite. A man who can be emotionally open with his partner is a man who is truly secure in himself. It is a sign of confidence, not fragility.

Because only a man who is truly strong can afford to be soft when it matters. Only a man who is deeply sure of his place in a relationship can take the risk of letting his partner see him without his defenses. And a woman who understands the significance of this will recognize the depth of love it represents. When a man chooses to share his struggles with you when he allows you into the parts of himself that he does not readily show the world. It is not a casual act. It means he trusts you with something that is not easily given and trust in a relationship is the foundation upon which everything else is built.

But here’s where many people make a mistake. When a man opens up, he is not necessarily looking for solutions. He is not always seeking advice. More often than not, what he is truly seeking is understanding, the ability to speak openly without judgment, the ability to express fears without them being diminished, and the ability to reveal weakness without being made to feel weak.

If a woman responds to his vulnerability with impatience, with dismissal or worse, with contempt, she teaches him one thing; that it is not safe to open up to her. Once that trust is broken the relationship shifts and he will withdraw, OR, he will revert to the familiar patterns of silence and emotional distance, not because he does not love her, but because he has learned that his love is safer when it is guarded.

This is why the way a woman responds to a man’s vulnerability is so crucial. It is one thing to say that you want emotional openness in a relationship. It is another to create an environment in which that openness is truly welcomed because what a man is looking for in these moments is not perfection. He does not expect his partner to have all the answers. He does not need her to solve his problems. What he needs is reassurance that he is not alone in them, that his emotions are not a burden, that his fears do not make him unworthy, therefore   deepening the relationship in ways that nothing else can.

Because when a man knows that he can be his whole self with a woman that he does not have to filter his emotions, that he does not have to maintain a façade (a deceptive outward appearance), he bonds with her on a level that is unbreakable. He does not just love her. He needs her, not in a dependent way, but in the way that a person needs a home, a place where they are fully accepted, and when a man finds that, he does not leave.

 But vulnerability is very fragile thing. A relationship built on trust and emotional safety can be undone with just a few careless moments, a dismissive remark, an inpatient response, an attitude of ridicule toward his emotions. These things do not just wound a man, they teach him. They teach him that his vulnerability was a mistake, and once that lesson is learned, it is incredibly difficult to unlearn. So, if you have a man who is willing to share his deeper thoughts with you, to be open about his fears, to let you see him in his rawest moments, understand what that means. It is not small; it is not trivial. It is an invitation into a part of himself that few ever see, and how you respond to that will shape not only the relationship you share, but the very way he sees love itself. Because a man will never leave a woman who makes him feel truly seen, truly safe, truly accepted. He may forget moments of passion or excitement or adventure, but he will never forget the person who gave him the space to be himself fully and without fear. And if you can be that for him, you will hold a place in his heart that no one else ever could.

When it comes to relationships, one of the most overlooked yet profoundly important aspects, is how a woman makes a man feel about himself when he is with her. It’s not just about love, attraction or even shared values, though all of these do matter. At the deepest level, a man will stay with a woman who makes him feel like the best version of himself, not because she inflates his ego with empty praise, but because in her presence, he sees himself as someone stronger, more capable, more purposeful.

This is something many people fail to understand about male psychology. A man’s identity, his very sense of self, is built around his ability to be useful, to have purpose. It is not just about external accomplishments, though, those are often the tangible markers of his worth in society.

More fundamentally, it is about the role he plays in the lives of the people he cares about. A man needs to feel needed, and if he doesn’t, he will either check out emotionally or eventually leave entirely. Now, this doesn’t mean a woman should create artificial dependence or play helpless to keep a man engaged, quite the opposite. A woman who is strong, independent, and confident in her own right, but who still values and appreciates what a man brings to her life is infinitely more compelling than one who leans on him out of necessity.

What matters is that she recognizes his contributions, that she acknowledges the weight he carries, that she makes him feel like what he does and who he is, matters to her. Men are not praised as often as they should be. Think how from childhood, boys are often taught that their worth is tied to their performance. They are encouraged to be strong, to endure hardship, to suppress emotion, in favor of action. And while these traits can be valuable, they also mean that many men go through life without ever hearing that they are appreciated, not for what they do, but for who they are. If a man finds a woman who not only sees his efforts but respects and admires the man behind them, she becomes irreplaceable to him.

NEXT UP: FINAL THOUGHTS – Understanding True Love

Clue #3: He does this, EVEN when you’re not around!

He will take actions that ensure your well-being in the long term, whether that means making financial decisions with you in mind, considering your needs in his career choices, or simply making sure that the life you build together is one of stability and security. A man who is reckless with his future is also reckless with yours, and that is not a sign of love. It is a sign of immaturity.

But here’s the thing; protection is a two-way street. A relationship is not a scenario where one person does all the shielding, while the other remains passive. A woman who is truly worthy of this of kind of love will also offer protection in return, not in the same physical sense perhaps, but in the way she nurtures his mind, his emotions, and his Spirit. She will create a safe space for him to express himself without fear of judgment. She will protect his confidence, just as he protects hers. She will stand by him when he faces the inevitable hardships of life rather than retreating at the first sign of trouble.

At the core of it, love is about having each other’s backs. It’s about making the conscious choice to be a source of strength rather than a source of stress. If a man loves you, you will feel safe, not just physically, but in every way that matters. You will not have to question whether he will be there for you in moments of weakness. You will not have to wonder if he will shield you from unnecessary pain, and that is what real love looks like.

It is not just merely passion or attraction. It is the willingness to stand beside someone to bear some of their burdens to ensure that, no matter what life brings they never have to face it alone. When a man loves and adores a woman, it manifests not only in his words, but in his consistency, his unwavering presence, his reliability, his ability to be counted on, even in the smallest moments.

This is one of the most overlooked, yet most telling aspects of true love. It’s easy to be affectionate when emotions are high, when passion is burning, when everything is smooth but love, real love is demonstrated in the steady commitment to show up again and again, regardless of the circumstances. Consistency is a form of devotion. It signals that a man is not just emotionally invested in a passing moment but rather in the long-term stability of the relationship, and what does that look like?

It means he keeps his word. If he says he’ll call, he calls; if he promises to be there, he is. There is no ambiguity, no last-minute changes that leave you wondering where you stand. A man who truly adores you doesn’t leave you in a perpetual state of uncertainty. He makes it clear through his actions, not just his words, that you are a priority, not an afterthought.

This kind of consistency provides a woman with something invaluable; security. And not just in the obvious sense. Yes, there is security in knowing that someone will be there when they say they will, but there is also emotional security, the kind that allows a woman to open up fully, to trust deeply, to love without hesitation. A man who is inconsistent, who is there one moment and distant the next, creates an emotional environment filled with doubt.

A woman in that position is left questioning, analyzing, second guessing; that is not love! That is emotional chaos and love in its truest form, does not create chaos. It creates stability, but consistency goes beyond just being present.

It is also about emotional reliability. Does he react to conflict with the same level of respect and composure each time, or does his temperament and level of affection shift unpredictably conditional on how the day is going for him. A man who truly loves and adores you, will not be emotionally erratic. He will not make you feel like his love depends on whether things are easy or difficult. He will make it clear that he is committed, no matter what.

And it’s not just about the big moments; anyone can be consistent in the grand gestures; anniversaries, birthdays, celebrations, but true consistency shows up in the every-day in the simple habits that signal love and commitment. The text message to check in, not because he has to, but because he genuinely wants to know how your day is going. The way he remembers the small things, your favorite drink, the way you like your coffee, the song that always makes you smile, the way he asks about the details of your life, not as a formality, but because he truly cares.

A man’s consistency is a reflection of his Integrity. A man who is consistent in his love is a man who understands responsibility, who does not take relationships lightly, who recognizes that love is not about grandiose words but about showing up every single day. He does not withdraw his affection when things become difficult. He does not retreat when life becomes stressful. He remains steady because he understands that love is a foundation, not a fleeting emotion, and perhaps most importantly, consistency is the antidote to insecurity.

When a woman knows with absolute certainty that her man is there for her, not just when it’s convenient, but always, she is freed from the need to constantly seek reassurance. She does not have to wonder if he will leave when things get hard. She does not have to question if he truly cares. She knows, because he has shown her repeatedly through his actions. This is what separates a fleeting connection from a lasting bond. It’s what allows relationships to deepen, to grow, to evolve into something unbreakable, because at the end of the day, love is not just about feelings, it’s about action.

It’s about the daily choice to be there to care to remain steady in a world that is anything but. And so, if a man loves and adores you, you will not have to question his presence in your life. He will not be a mystery, a puzzle you are constantly trying to solve. He will be there, again and again, without question, without hesitation, without fail, because love, real love is not uncertain. It is sure steady and unwavering.

NEXT UP: Clue #4 The Most Powerful Way He Shows His Love – Truly Unguarded Vulnerability!

CLUE TWO: His Unexpected Action, Consistency,  Proves His Love

But it’s not just about the long term, it’s about the everyday. Love is not built in moments of passion alone. It’s built in consistency. Does he make an effort to check in on you, not just when he wants something, but simply because he cares? Does he listen when you speak truly absorbing what you say rather than waiting for his turn to respond? Does he make space for you in his schedule, even when he’s busy? A man who prioritizes you will make sure that you feel valued in his presence.

He won’t leave you guessing about where you stand. He won’t make you feel like you’re fighting for scraps of his attention. And if you find yourself constantly questioning whether you’re important to him, that itself is an answer.

Many people fall into the trap of excusing neglect in relationships. They rationalize it telling themselves, he’s just bad at communication or going through a lot right now. And while it’s true that life can be complicated and people have different ways of expressing love, there is one fundamental truth that remains.

When a man values something, he takes care of it. He protects it. He nurtures it, and he does not allow it to feel neglected. Now, here’s where this becomes even more critical. A man’s willingness to prioritize you is directly linked to his respect for you. Love without respect is. unsustainable. If a man sees you as truly valuable, he will treat you as such, he won’t take you for granted. He won’t expect you to always be available while he remains distant and detached. Instead, he will ensure that his actions reflect his appreciation for you, not just in words, but in how he structures his life around the relationship.

And this is why self-respect is crucial on your end as well. If you allow yourself to accept a position of constant secondary importance in someone’s life, you are reinforcing the idea that it is acceptable. If you tolerate inconsistent effort, you are teaching him that minimal effort is sufficient. Love cannot thrive in an environment where one person is always compromising, and the other is always benefiting.

So, what’s the takeaway here? It’s simple. If a man loves and adores you, you won’t have to question whether you matter to him. He will show you day in and day out through his actions, his presence, and his choices. And if you find yourself constantly having to convince him to make space for you in his life, then you’re not his priority. You’re an option, and you should never settle for being an option.

 One of the most telling signs that a man truly loves and adores you is the way he protects you, not just physically but emotionally, psychologically, and even spiritually. Protection in its deepest sense is not about dominance or control. It’s about care. It’s about the conscious effort to shield you from harm; to create an environment where you feel safe, valued and supported.

This instinct to protect is deeply wired into men. Historically, men have been the guardians of the tribe, the defenders of the home, the ones who stood between danger and those they loved. And while the threats may look different in the modern world; no wild animals, no enemy tribes at the gates, the instinct remains.  A man who loves you will not be indifferent to your suffering. He will not allow you to face life’s battles alone while he remains passive; he will be invested in your well-being, in your emotional security, in the quality of your life.

But let’s make something clear. This kind of protection is not about solving all of your problems for you. A good man doesn’t see his woman as helpless. He sees her as capable. He doesn’t take away her autonomy or make her dependent on him. Instead, he stands beside her ready to bear some of the burden when the weight of the world becomes too much. He is there, not to rescue her, but to support her.

This is evident in how he responds when you’re in distress. When life throw’s challenges your way, whether it’s stress at work, difficulties with friends or family, or internal struggles with self-doubt, does he show up for you? Does he take the time to listen to understand to reassure you that you’re not alone? Or does he dismiss your concerns, minimize your emotions, or make you feel as though your struggles are an inconvenience to him? A man who loves you will not let you suffer in silence. He will notice when you’re in pain, even when you try to hide it, and he will do what he can to make things easier for you.

And let’s not forget emotional protection. This is where many men fail without realizing it. A man who truly adores you will not play with your emotions. He will not manipulate you, make you feel insecure, or engage in mind games that leave you questioning his commitment.

Instead, he will offer you stability. He will communicate with honesty and clarity. He will not make you feel like love is something you have to earn more that his affection is conditional on your ability to please him. This emotional protection also means safeguarding your confidence and self-worth. A loving man does not belittle the woman he adores. He does not make cruel jokes at her expense. He does not criticize her in a way that erodes her self-esteem.

On the contrary, he lifts her up. He speaks to her with respect. He acknowledges her strength and even when he has to address a problem or conflict, he does in a way that is constructive, not destructive.

And then there’s the social aspect of protection. When a man loves a woman, he will not tolerate disrespect toward her. He won’t stand by while others demean her; whether it’s friends, family members, or even strangers. He will make it clear through both words and actions that she is someone he values deeply and that he expects others to treat her with the same respect.

A man’s protective nature is also evident in the way he plans for the future. If he truly sees you as his partner, he will think beyond the present moment.

NEXT UP:

CLUE #3: He does This EVEN WHEN YOU’RE NOT AROUND

PRAYER REMINDERS:

Post 4/19/25: Aron Lee Ralston; that Aron hears Christ’s call & fulfills his life’s destinies for himself, his children – Leon & Elisabetta, as well as his life’s motto, “There are possibilities in our problems, transformation in our trauma, and blessings in our boulders” and the His best for them is yet to come!

Post 04/21/25: Glendon, Simon and the persecuted Christians in Nigeria, Africa, and Asia..

THANK YOU