Counseling the Conspiracy Theorist, Part B continued

Written by Daniel Szczesniak, July 2025 The Sword and Trumpet, Pg 19, originally published by ACBC at biblicalcounseling.com

If you missed Part A, you’d be advised to read that first!

2. Confirmation Bias vs Renewal of the Mind

Confirmation bias is a fancy, technical-sounding way of saying that we hear what we want to hear. People love to hear the things that “suit their own passions,” and thus “turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths” 2 Timothy 4:3-4). Conspiracy theories have enough truth sprinkled in to plausibly conform what we already think – wish? hope? – to be true.

          Challenge your counselee with this passage, then study Romans 12:1-2, where Paul calls for believers to be transformed in our thinking as an act of worship. Teach them to think biblically and help them grow in discernment as they learn to love what is “good and acceptable and perfect.”

  • 3. Blame Shifting vs Taking Responsibility

As difficult as it for us to change our minds, it may be even more difficult to change our habits. Myths allow us to avoid responsibilities for how we spend our time by placing the blame on someone else: Them!!

Every conspiracy involves a “they.” After all, it is far easier to believe that a shadowy cabal of elites has intentionally compromised our food supply than it is to change our diet and begin exercising.

A subtler form of blame-shifting, and one that is perhaps more common, is for your counselee to focus their efforts on exposing and fighting “them” in chat rooms and social media debates instead of prioritizing God’s instructions for their lives. The lie is that they are pursuing noble causes (Truth! Justice!). But the reality is that they are surfing the internet instead of fulfilling their duties to God and neighbor (Matt 22:27-40).

Help your counselee see these things with the classic illustration of the “circle of concern” and “circle of responsibility.” Draw a circle and label it “circle of responsibility.” Inside, write down the God-given responsibilities they’ve been neglecting in their pursuit of so-called “truth.”

Next, draw a wider circle around the first one, and label it “circle of concern.” Write down things that they may be concerned about, but are not necessarily their responsibility. Help them think through where things like “civic duty” and “current events” fall, and what that should look like in their life.

  • 4. Self-Centered Narrative vs the Story of Redemption

Conspiracy theories provide a framework for us to make sense of the world around us. Like Asaph in Psalm 73, we see the prosperity of the wicked and wonder why they succeed while we struggle. A good conspiracy theory explains our struggle by placing us within an epic story of good versus evil, the global elites plotting against regular folks such as ourselves.

Yet the structure of the narrative is itself the problem. As Carl Trueman has said, “Conspiracy theories… make us feel more important in the grand scheme of things than we are. If someone is going to all this trouble to con us into believing in something, then we have to be worth conning.” In the end, conspiracy theories are about US!

BOTTOM LINE:

          But there is a much better story!

          It’s the story of God’s beautiful creation and our purpose to reflect His glory. It’s a story in which we are are the ones who conspire against our Creator, turning from him to seek our own glory and pleasure. Yet in this story, God sent His own Son to save us from the trouble we inflicted upon ourselves by forgiving our rebellion, giving us new hearts, calling us to walk in His ways, and promising us a glorious future.

          Train your counselee to view the world through this priceless act of redemption. Teach them the beautiful truths about Christ, help them renew their minds in the Word, prepare them to value and live out their God-given responsibilities, and help them locate their life in the Bible’s narrative of creation, fall, redemption, and consummation.

NEXT UP:

Book Review: Released in ’25; Scrolling Ourselves to Death: Reclaiming Life in a Digital Age edited by Brett McCracken & Ivan Mesa

COUNSELING The CONSPIRACY THEORIST, Part A.

Written by Daniel Szczesniak, July 2025 The Sword and Trumpet, Pg 19, originally published by ACBC at biblicalcounseling.com

Sorry readers, but I’ve been looking for writings in these veins for years to no avail! Where are today’s practical living spiritual/scriptural interpreters on such ignored hot topics? If you are aware of other such attempts, please, please inform me… merlin

THERE’S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT CONSPIRACY THEORIES THAT ATTRACT US.

The deep state, Russiagate, birther, Epstein, QAnon, and the New World Order are terms that have entered the public consciousness over the past few years. The grassy knoll, flat earth, chemtrails, and the moon landing have been popular subjects for years. There are endless debates about vaccines, voter fraud, the pandemic, and no doubt there will be many still to come about the recent Pennsylvania assassination attempt.

Such theories capture our imagination while attempting to explain the inexplicable. In doing so, they provide structure to the chaos of the world around us. As Christians, we love to seek out truth, and we believe that God is ordering history according to his will. So, what is the problem?

The Problem with Conspiracy Theories

The issue isn’t conspiracy. We know that powerful people do evil things, and we know that they often try to conceal dealings or spin the narrative. Proverbs 17:23 tells us, “A wicked man accepts a bribe behind the back to pervert the ways of justice.” This explains why so many conspiracies have a ring of truth to them. According to the Bible, wicked people do exchange bribes and favors to twist the law or work the system to their favor.

No, the real issue is stewardship. It’s a matter of what we do with the truths with which we’ve entrusted. Paul put it this way: “Charge certain persons not to teach any different doctrine, nor to devote themselves to myths and endless genealogies, which promote speculations rather than the stewardship from God that is faith” (1 Timothy1:3-4)

Instead of faithfully living out the Christian life, the conspiracy theorist engages in speculation and does it to such a degree that it can only be described as deviation. At the root of this deviation to speculation is a different doctrine. It’s a different doctrine because it doesn’t center on Christ (1 Timothy 1:11). To help a counselee caught in a love of speculation, you must help expose this wayward devotion as sin and point them to the truth of the Gospel.

Understanding and Counseling the Conspiracy Theorist

Let’s take a look at four areas the conspiracy theorist might find attractive, comparing each to the greater truths God gives us in His Word.

  1. Secret Knowledge vs. Biblical Truth

Grocery checkout lines are known for displaying two types of products: Candy and gossip magazines. Twice the book of Proverbs identifies these as the same basic urge: “The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels, they go down into the inner parts of the body” (18:8, 26:22).

Like chocolate or the juicy news of who is cheating on whom, conspiracy theories provide an indulgent thrill of pleasure. It may be masked as a search for truth, a love for learning, being prepared for the future, or staying up to date on current affairs. But at its root, the allure of secret knowledge is a love of pleasure.

Jesus said, “To you has been given the secret of the kingdom of God” (Mark 4:11). Show your counselee that the greatest and most satisfying secrets are revealed in Christ, and everything they need for life and godliness comes through knowing Him (2 Peter 1:3).

TO BE CONTINUED:

Menno Simons Part B continued…

Menno had faults like any man, but he deserves his place in history with the other Reformers of that age, maybe even deserving a higher ranking than the others. Luther, Calvin, and Zwingli accomplished their roles in conjunction with the state’s political power. In contrast, Menno Simons played his part by obeying the Scriptures, bearing the cross of Christ, and enduring the shame of persecution. He traveled, he preached, debated, and wrote many treatises and letters, many of which are available today. A volume of The Complete Writings of Menno Simons has 1092 pages. His influence on the Mennonite church, which bears his name, is incalculable.

What message did Menno preach in his day that we need to be reminded of today? The following quotes are all from his own writings:

True religion must bear sanctified and holy fruit. The state churches did not call their members to be born again as a prerequisite for membership. You were basically born into the church by being baptized into it as an infant. The Anabaptists insisted on membership by choice, and the standard was the New Birth. This made their way of life straight and narrow. The state churches left it broad and open.

Such a repentance we teach and no other, namely, that no one can or piously glory in the grace of God, the forgiveness of sins, the merit of Christ, unless he has truly repented.

It is not enough that in appearance a man speaks much of the Word of the Lord. It must also be verified by devout and unblameable conduct as the Scriptures teach.

For true evangelical faith is of such a nature that it cannot lay dormant; but manifests itself in all righteousness and works of love; it dies unto flesh and blood; destroys all forbidden lusts and desires; cordially seeks, serves and fears God; clothes the naked; feeds the hungry; consoles the afflicted, shelters the miserable, aids and consoles all the oppressed; returns good for evil; serves those that injure it; prays for those that persecute it; teaches, admonishes and reproves with the Word of the Lord; seeks that which is lost, binds up that is wounded; and heals that which is diseased and saves that which is sound.

The Church is a Brotherhood. The state churches who persecuted the Anabaptists were made up of citizens of their local city/state. They were there by birth, not by choice. Mennonites are members of a Brotherhood because they willingly submit their lives to the body and care for one another.

Menno Simons had much to say about the life of preachers. This may be because of his own experience in the priesthood, and also because the loose living and depravity of church leaders was rampant. Speaking of the state churches he says:

“Under these splendid trappings (crosses, belts, organs, masses) may plainly be seen the slily, crouching wolf, the earthly, sensual mind, the antichristian seductions and bloody abominations; for they seek nothing but the favor of men, honor, splendor, venery, idleness, self, gold, silver, gluttony, and suffer themselves to be called spiritual doctors, teachers, lords, abbots, guardians, fathers and priors.”

Speaking of true preachers, he says,

These are they who gather with Christ what has been scattered, bind up the wounded, and heal the sick, for they are influenced by the Spirit of the Lord and urged by unfeigned love. They are vigilant and assiduous in the discharge of entrusted duties. They fight daily with the weapon of obedience. They tear down, break, and destroy all that which is against the word of God, not by external power, with sword and spear, but by the preaching of the holy word, in power and spirit, with the word of the Lord. They till, sow, water, and plant. They cut down what is ripe. They gather their grain and sheaves, and carry them into the Lord’s barn and their fruits will abide unto eternal life.

Shunning Babylon (the world) 

We further teach and admonish from the word of God, that all true children of God, who are regenerated from the incorruptible living seed of the divine word, who have separated themselves, according to the Scriptures, from the idolatrous generation, and yielded to the yoke and cross of Christ, and who are able to judge between true and false doctrines, between Christ and antichrist, must shun according to scripture, all seducing and idolatrous preachers and their doctrines, sacraments and worship. They must avoid all, of every doctrine, faith, sect, creed and name, who are not found in the pure doctrine of Christ, and in the scripture usage of his sacraments, because they have neither calling, doctrine, nor life, according to the word of of God, but are sent by antichrist, and ordained in his employment and service.

Menno was a voluminous writer. Only small samples can be given here. One thing that shines through and through was his “divine enthusiasm” for the work of Christ in the heart of the true believer. Here is a quote from him:

“Behold, worthy reader, all those who sincerely believe in this glorious love of God , this abundant great blessing of grace in Christ Jesus, manifested toward us, are more and more renewed through such a faith; their hearts overflow with joy and peace; they break forth with joyful hearts, in all manner of thanksgiving, they praise and glorify God with all their hearts, because they, with a good conscience have received the Spirit; they believe and know that the Father loved us, so that he gave us poor, wretched sinners, his own and Eternal Son, with his merits, as a gift and an eternal ransom, as Paul says, “The grace and love of God, our Savior, appeared not on account of the works of righteousness, which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and the renewing of the Holy Ghost; which he shed on us abundantly, through Jesus Christ our Savior.”

After a busy and fruitful life, Menno Simons died of natural causes on January 31, 1561. God used him mightily to stabilize and bless the Anabaptist movement. God is calling men and women to Kingdom work today. May we be faithful and take courage to step forward in faith and answer His call.

“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Heb 12:1-2)

Originally published in the March 2025 issue of Pilgrim Witness. More recently published in July 2025 The Sword and the Trumpet.

NEXT UP:

FINALLY! How to Counsel A Conspiracy Theorist!

MENNO SIMONS Part A

PILGRIM WITNESS / 500 YEAR ANABAPTIST ANNIVERSARY SERIES David Sweigart

Good Week Morning Readers!

I came across a historical sketch of Menno Simons which I’m including strictly FYI. Those Protestant swaths forthcoming from their Reformation & Anabaptist roots are wide when you include all the Baptist and similar offshoots, whereas the Menno Simon’s variety would be declining worldwide if it were not for the conservative Mennonite & Amish higher birthrates and their stand against doctrinal error which compromises faith and leads to apostasy. merlin

It is important to understand that the Anabaptist movement began in two separate areas in Western Europe – Switzerland and the Netherlands. In Switzerland, they were known as the Swiss Brethren. Several years after the beginnings of the Anabaptist movement in Switzerland, the movement reached the Netherlands through the influence of a wandering preacher with a Lutheran background named Melchior Hoffman. Hoffman had fanatical notions about the earthly kingdom of God, which bore fruit and culminated in what became known as the Munster tragedy. Two men influenced by Hoffman, John of Leiden and John Matthys, established their “kingdom” in the city of Munster. They instituted a reign of terror for about a year until the opposing forces annihilated them and the few holdouts with them. While they could be called Anabaptists because they were re-baptized at the beginning of this saga, they obviously did not stay true to other Anabaptist principles.

Among the many baptized by Hoffman or his followers, a pair of brothers became very significant: Obbe and Dirk Phillips. These two brothers and their followers, who opposed the violence and fanaticism of the Munsterites, became known as the Obbenites, who are rightfully considered the founders of the Dutch Mennonite movement.

Even today, any new movement must come to terms with its fringe elements and tendencies. The aforementioned Munster incident was one of those divisive elements. Some held to hyper-literal interpretations of the Gospel. The fledgling Anabaptist movement needed a leader to stabilize and unify the cause.

In 1536, it had been traditionally accepted that Obbe Phillips baptized a former Roman Catholic priest named Menno Simons, who was born in 1496 in the Dutch town of Witmarsun. Menno was ordained a priest in 1524 but was not serious about life. He involved himself in partying, cards, drinking, etc. However, events in his life led him to begin to question the Catholic practices of transubstantiation. “… during the first year (as priest) he was suddenly frightened. While he was administering the Mass he began to doubt whether the bread and the wine were actually being changed into the flesh and blood of Christ. First he considered these thoughts the whisperings of Satan; but he was unable to free himself through ‘sighings, prayers, and confessings.’”

He struggled with his doubts for two years. Finally, picking up a Bible and beginning to read, he discovered that the teachings of the Catholic church were incorrect. Several events also were instrumental in bringing him to a crossroads of faith. News of a public beheading reached him and disturbed him because the reason fro the beheading was rebaptism. A second baptism seemed a strange doctrine to him. He had never doubted infant baptism. In his hometown of Witmarsum about 300 Muensterites took over a monastery and tried to defend themselves against the governor, but all were killed, probably including his own brother. The news of Muenster and the Hoffman/Muensterite prophets’ influence prompted him to speak out publicly against these fanatical excesses.

Finally, in January of 1536, he made the break – closing the door to a priestly career and a life of ease and pleasure and instead embracing the cross of Christ, a wanderer with a price on his head. “I voluntarily renounced all my worldly honor and reputation, my unchristian conduct, masses, infant baptisms, and my unprofitable life, and at once willingly submitted to distress and poverty, and the cross of Christ.” He spent a year in seclusion studying Scripture, and around 1537, Obbe Phillips ordained him.

He was a hunted man with enemies everywhere – Roman Catholic traditionalists and other Reformers on one side and fanatics on the other. But he had a burden for the souls of men, the common people who found themselves caught in the middle of the swirling winds of change. “Thus reflecting upon these things my soul was so grieved that I could no longer endure it. I thought to myself – I, miserable man, what shall I do? If I continue in this way , and live not agreeably to the word of the Lord, according to the knowledge of truth which I have obtained; if I do not rebuke to the best of limited ability the hypocrisy, the impenitent, carnal life, the perverted baptism, the Lord’s supper and the false worship of God, which the learned teach; if I , through bodily fear, do not show them the true foundation of the truth, neither use all my powers to direct the wandering flock, who would gladly do their duty if they knew it, to the true pastures of Christ – Oh, how shall their shed blood, though shed in error, rise against me at the judgment of the Almighty, and pronounce sentence against my poor miserable soul.”

BOTTOM LINE:

Menno Simons was a humble servant of the Lord, willing to serve but painfully aware of his inadequacies. As he reflected on the needs of the poor, straying flock who as a sheep without a shepherd, he wrote, “My heart trembled in my body. I prayed to God with sighs and tears, that He would give to me, a troubled sinner, the gift of his grace, and create a clean heart within me, that through the merits of the crimson blood of Christ, He would graciously forgive my unclean walk and unprofitable life, and bestow upon me, wisdom, Spirit, candor and fortitude, that I might preach his exalted and adorable name and holy word un-perverted, and make manifest his truth to his praise.”

TO BE CONTINUED IN Part B

You Got A Thirst & A Hunger For God?

“O God, You are my God… my soul thirsts for You; my flesh longs for You.” Proverbs 63:1

It is amazing that with no knowledge of eternal life, no knowledge of a sacrificial Savior, no knowledge of the resurrection – all the things we know well in the New Testament era – Old Testament saints like David, had such a longing for God. They had a sense of His presence with them that few Christians seem to enjoy in our day.

David must have already learned that even the royal trappings of kingship could not provide what his heart needed: that only God could slack his thirst and satisfy his longing. He had lived long enough to know that none of what the world offers, whether in the desert or in the palace, could satisfy the longings of his heart.

BOTTOM LINE:  

Someone has said that Satan knows nothing of true pleasure and satisfaction, that he is an expert only in amusements. David had learned the difference and we would do well to imitate him. True pleasure comes from knowing God, being known by God, and being at rest in His presence.

No idea who authored this treasure.`Found nameless in a digital file. May this reading further prepare you for worship today!

Undercover Spiritual Espionage Engineering For Relationship Bridge Building

When I was a kid, the above title was just called “Friendship Evangelism.” Nowdays, small groups are assigned; prior as a kid, I watched them just sprout organically and if/when they got too large, qualified leadership volunteered to lead the splinter group… and theoretically, in time…. they didn’t duplicate into oblivion. Actually, my home congregation physically went “underground,” after nearly 90 years, as we all will eventually, if you walk through the cemeteries with your eyes WIDE open. If you desire more of my personal historical perspective read the August 1 post titled AYFC Chapter One: Create Meaning with Small Wins. Warning, it is long! But unparalleled in historical interest & content in this 500th year of Anabaptist history.

At this moment in history, I’m thinking far beyond the underground tunneling Wendell Martin (author of Go Now: From the Innermost Parts of the Heart to the Uttermost Parts of the World) helped engineer in China with his 50+ smuggling trips of spiritual boring equipment for God’s use in the Chinese underground church, enabling His millions of Christ-Followers literally starving for Bibles to expand & thrive. I keep thinking Wendell Martin needs to write his personal “Letters to the Church”, as Francis Chan did in 2018. Wendell is the closest Anabaptist man I know whom exhibits a practical clone-ship to the Apostle Paul.

The bottom line to this totally secular book “Are You Fully Charged” with its outstanding clarity for the methodology of building undercover dynamic thriving spiritual relationships in & about the remaining remnant congregations to the masses outside our enclaves, ( especially when they are frequently & defiantly shaking their fists at God, perhaps even us, if/when we threaten their ideology), in my estimation, offers a phenomenal blueprint for Christ – Followers to expand their thriving (OR NOT) spiritual relationships footprint in their practical day-in-day-out-lives, especially as we may be increasingly scrutinized and persecuted. Now, back to the epilogue. You and the Holy Spirit need to the connect the dots!

Epilogue: Create a Positive Charge

          The best use of an hour is to invest it in something that will continue to grow. When you add a positive charge to another’s day, it carries forward a into each of their subsequent interactions. Even when you do not see the results directly, investing an hour in the growth of another person can increase the well-being of an entire network of people in the span of a day. It will also help you grow.

          You are much better at helping yourself if you are also helping another person with a similar problem, even if your experience with the affliction was years earlier. Perhaps that’s why thriving Christians who consciously, even subconsciously, adhere to the saying “There, but for the grace of God, go I” accredited to the 16th century reformer John Bradford who said it first while watching fellow prisoners being led to their execution, recognizing that he was no more righteous than they were, and that he had only escaped their fate through God’s grace.

Likewise, research from one of the largest clinical trials in alcohol research found that 40 percent of the alcoholics who helped other alcoholics during their recovery were successful and avoided drinking in the year following they treatment. In contrast, only 22 percent of those who did not help others were able to stay sober. Helping someone else with a similar problem nearly doubled success rates. A subsequent study found that 94 percent of alcoholics who helped other alcoholics experienced lower levels of depression.

          A series of studies conducted with hundreds of college students suggests that people may be even better at solving the same problem for another person than they are for at solving the same problem for themselves. It seems people are “simply wired” to do good and create meaning, even for complete strangers (No great surprise for those who know Creator God).

SHARE YOUR MOST PRECIOUS RESOURCES 

What’s most intriguing about the research on giving is that it appears to be a universal phenomenon that transcends wealth in countries rich and poor. When a team of leading researchers examined data from more than 200,000 people in 136 countries, they found that donating to charity improved well being in all parts of the world. This held true even when people reported having trouble securing food for their family.

          When these researchers compared vastly different parts of the world, such as Canada and South Africa, they found that people consistently felt happier when they donated to charity versus buying themselves a treat, even when they would never meet the beneficiary of their gift. This led researchers to conclude that people are not merely donating for direct satisfaction or social connection. Instead, it appears that something deeply embedded in people’s natures makes them feel better when they act altruistically. (Again, it’s no surprise to we who know Creator God)

DO GOOD For A LIFE WELL-LIVED

          We all have a limited number of days to make a difference. This is one of the few certainties that everyone shares. It can also be an extraordinary motivational force. Embrace the fact that you need to infuse a lot of good into this world while you can. You have the opportunity to decide how you will spend your time. Use this knowledge to stay focused on doing what’s most important everyday.

If you don’t prioritize what’s more important today, you may later find yourself wishing you had spent more time with your spouse or children. You may regret that you didn’t pursue an idea you had many years ago. Fortunately, you do have time to add a positive charge to the world today by:

  1. Start with work that creates meaning.
  2. Invest in each interaction to strengthen your relationships.
  3. Make sure you have the energy you need to be your best.

          Doing these three things, in combination, is the definition of being fully charged and adding a positive charge to those around you.

In addition, before we move on, I want you to be aware that beginning on Page 213 – 216, Tom has crated a list of nine books he lists “As Essential Reading” for those of us appearing as on steroids from merely reading AYFC, already envisioning enhancing public/private school curriculum modules; actually, any educational components involving meaningful interactions strengthening both direct & collateral relationships, including even the training protocols for sales & marketing resources, etc., all being built on the Golden Rule from Matt. 7:12 & Luke 6:31. For deeper diving, beginning on page 217- 240, Rath lists the books 235 references, most with links or websites, indeed a unique treasure trove! 

BOTTOM LINE:

Again, there is so much more I want to share here for the future of His Kingdom IN YOUR LIFE, but this is not the time. I am trusting He’ll open the necessary doors in His future timing. Continual Blessings on your journeys as you seek His guidance and sustenance for meaningful work, interactions, & relationships from His resources all about us, and, sometimes in/from the most unsuspecting persons & places. Till we meet again, I believe you now possess sufficient creative ammo to expand your footprint realizing & proving your ultimate strength is first finding, and secondly, developing the God given talents in others in meaningful endeavors and relationships impacting Kingdom Living for all of humanity! Go Now!

An Example of God’s Integral Timing

Little did I realize that after my late Thursday evening rantings, that one of the best possible scriptures to guide our thinking in the aftermath of our processing that prior post and beyond, is indeed Romans 14, which was front & center when I opened my One Year NIV Bible Friday morning. Not merely a coincidence! So, here it is, again in the Message, or you choose your preference. As I said, our challenge is systemic; both we individually; AND/OR, we collectively. Only by Love of God, can we and will we, move forward in His Unity, in step with Him, for our good, and His Glory! I pray as you slowly and prayerfully read these words, so that His Spirit will reveal to you exactly the thoughts and actions that will best serve His timing & destiny specifically for you in your circles of influence. Enjoy!

Romans 14:1-23 (MSG) 

1.Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.
2. For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume all Christians should be vegetarians and eat accordingly.
3. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table.
4. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.
5. Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience.
6. What’s important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God’s sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you’re a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli.
7. None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters.
8. It’s God we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in between—not each other.
9. That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.
10. So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit.
11. Read it for yourself in Scripture: “As I live and breathe,” God says, “every knee will bow before me; Every tongue will tell the honest truth that I and only I am God.”
12. So, tend to your knitting. You’ve got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.
13. Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is.
14. I’m convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.
15. If you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don’t eat, you’re no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These, remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them to hell over an item in their diet?
16. Don’t you dare let a piece of God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!
17. God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.
18. Your task is to single mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you’ll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you.
19. So, let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault. You’re certainly not going to permit an argument over what is served or not served at supper to wreck God’s work among you, are you? I said it before and I’ll say it again: All food is good, but it can turn bad if you use it badly, if you use it to trip others up and send them sprawling.
21. When you sit down to a meal, your primary concern should not be to feed your own face but to share the life of Jesus. So be sensitive and courteous to the others who are eating. Don’t eat or say or do things that might interfere with the free exchange of love.
22. Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don’t impose it on others. You’re fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent.

BOTTOM LINE: 23. But if you’re not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you’re out of line. If the way you live isn’t consistent with what you believe, then it’s wrong. 

AYFC Chapter One: Create Meaning with Small Wins

Greetings Readers: Thanks for your prayers yesterday. The day went faultlessly. It was really interesting the anointing I felt even the evening before when not able to sleep, I just relaxed & spent time in prayer for the big picture of our remaining years, not just the next 24 hours. And while at the Orlando airport, I received an email to read Romans 12 and I did so in The Message, often. And then spent much of the day just reading & browsing scripture, especially Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians & Colossians. Later, I worked creatively attempting to edit that days Utmost reading, the teaching of disillusionment. Its first two sentences were very difficult for me to understand, hence I worked to clarify… may share it later.

A few minutes ago I felt compelled with the extra time you enjoyed to mull over the past post, I’d best continue by exposing you to my edited summary of chapter One: CREATE MEANING WITH SMALL WINS. So very relevant today regardless of our age, assignment, or circumstance! Enjoy.

          What will you do today that will make a difference tomorrow? Author Tom Rath, at age sixteen, began focusing on this question after loosing sight in his left eye because of the rare VHL gene mutation that shuts off your natural occurring tumor suppressor, which causes continual cancerous growths throughout the body. Tom will spend a week every year for the rest of his life in a medical center for scans and testing followed up by the appropriate operations or therapies. Hopefully, this annual week of diagnostics results in a fresh 12 – month lease on life – which is renewed annually – and energizes me to make a difference every single day I have! Anyone relate? It’s been nearly 33 years now since my initial diagnosis, and I continue to live somewhat on borrowed time, investing my life working on what will continue to grow even after I’m gone. Trying to create a little meaning each day has also kept me from dwelling on a genetic condition beyond my control, learning far more about living than I have worried about dying, because the reality is, nobody knows if their lease on life will last days, years, or decades.

          Harvard Business study concluded that “of all the events that engage people at work, the single most important – by – far – is simply making progress in meaningful work”, and that creating meaning is an evolutionary process, as opposed to a grand purpose that suddenly falls in your lap. Small wins generate meaningful progress. It is these little moments, not grand actions, that create substance and meaning

Abandon the Pursuit of Happiness

          The pursuit of meaning – not happiness – is what makes life worthwhile. Thomas Jefferson’s “pursuit of happiness” in the Declaration of Independence, is a shortsighted aim. Putting your own well-being before well-doing pulls you in the wrong direction.

          Scientists are still uncovering the reasons why the pursuit of happiness backfires. Part of the explanation lies in its self-focused nature. Research suggests that the more value you place on your own happiness, the more likely you are to feel lonely on a daily basis. When participants in experiments were deliberately induced to value happiness more by reading a bogus article extolling the benefits of happiness, they reported feeling lonely. And samples of their saliva indicated corresponding decreases in progesterone levels – a hormonal response associated with loneliness. Seeking your own happiness and nothing else results in feelings of futility.   

Swim in the Deep End of Life

          Happiness & meaningfulness are two distinct human conditions, with their differences exhibiting clear implications for how people spend/invest their time. Pursuers of happiness without meaning is what psychologists call “takers” characterized as a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even selfish life, whereas “people leading meaningful lives get a lot of joy from giving to others.” 

          Psychologist Roy Baumeister points out that it is not the pursuit of happiness but the pursuit of meaning that sets humans apart from animals.

          Happiness and meaningfulness also appear to have distinct influences on physiological health. When participants in a study led by U of NC Barbara Fredrickson were happy, but lacked meaning in their lives (defined as pursuing a purpose bigger than self), they exhibited a stress-related gene pattern that is known to activate an inflammatory response. They had the same gene expression pattern as people dealing with constant adversity have. Over time, this pattern leads to chronic inflammation, which is related to a host of illnesses, like heart disease and cancer. Fredrickson noted, “Empty positive emotions…. Are about as good for you as adversity.” In contrast though, participants who had meaning in their lives, whether or not they characterized themselves as happy, showed a deactivation in this stress-related gene pattern. In other words, their bodies did not act as if they were under constant duress and threat.

BOTTOM LINE:

Participating in meaningful activities elevates your thinking above yourself and your momentary needs. Every minute you can set aside your own happiness for the sake of others will eventually lead to stronger families, organizations and communities. In the end, the pursuit of happiness and “success” will pass. What endures is creating meaning in your own life and in the lives of others.

NEXT UP:

No idea. Yet! But I just signed back in on the blog to offer you the opportunity to pray for a Erb cousins reunion that will begin this evening near Dublin OH. I understand only three of the nine (two dec.) of Uncle Omar & Mary Ann (Roth) can attend, but they expect over 40 persons of the thriving extended lineage to join in. Uncle Omar was my fathers oldest brother, who indeed set the pace not only for his family, but also for the ensuing nephew & nieces. Three of my first cousins reportedly are not able to attend, one actually now living in the original Amenia ND house, and the other two in Phoenix and Portland. Interesting, the three not attending are on my blog mailing list. We pray for those attending traveling safety, good health & circumstances throughout the event, so that relationships can be formed, renewed, broadened, even healed if need be, and enhanced such that as we all march to that Celestial City, each on our respective journeys, ever thriving, ALL being for our good, and His glory!

If you like history, early on, Omar moved his small family from Beemer NB to Amenia ND to purchase one of the federal government’s turn key Red River Valley 160 acre farms with a house, barn, and the necessary supporting out buildings; all built on six foot of topsoil, some of the richest in the world, the Red River Valley. I’m not complaining, but when Grandpa Erb moved in 1943 as did two more of Grandpa’s brothers from NB to the Frazee MN area, just 60 – 70 miles east of Amenia, just a bit beyond the RRV Lake bed sediment, we ended up with “little or no topsoil but plenty of clay, rocks & mosquitos with 412 lakes in our county, and my dad paid cash for his 160 acre rock pile garden by picking corn by hand (before corn pickers were common yet) two winters for relatives and neighbors in NB.

BOTTOM LINE TO THIS HISTORY EXCURSION:

In 1975 when Jon & Carol Fielitz was well into launching Central Rental and I was employed at an undercover federal agency to administer applications from hospital and nursing homes for their certificate of need to expand, or, even as start-ups, such as the Rittman Apostolic Homes original application , plus facilitating, establishing and expanding Emergency Medical Services (EMS) throughout the seven Counties in which we had jurisdiction.

It was during that 18 month employment, I had the bright idea of recruiting some of this eastern US Mennonite money & family energy for the struggling North Central Conference (NCC) congregations back home covering eastern MT, ND, MN, & western WI. When I left for Hesston in ’66, NCC had 22 congregations with 700 members, and two congregations were over 150. NCC enjoyed an influx of talent and families on occasion, but this was years prior to the hospice care definition, or even MCUSA’s attention as focused by Conrad L Kanagy’s book, “Road Signs for the Journey.” FYI, fast-forward to 2020, the remaining 5 congregations voted to disband NCC and were assimilated elsewhere; proof again that it does take more than mere culture for churches to continue, even in good times.

But now it is 1975, during my 18 month stint of health planning with access to a bright Menno secretary, I get this wild idea of contacting Gospel Herald, Mennonite Weekly, and Christian Living about doing an article, or an ad of some dimension. MCC, was in their global world peace emphasis heady while teething on the success of their post Vietnam War culturally in-synch Relief Sales that was funding and breathing new life into the existing MCC framework, way beyond what water (Coins Count) has contributed to MCC in the last five plus years… I didn’t get any replies, even though my secretary Marilyn Hartline, of Wooster Mennonite in her off-time typed the letters. Now I know better. Such transitions take both financial and spiritual savvy. I possessed neither or even the knowledge of either!

This past winter while shopping in David I met the Holderman gentleman from IN that had the vision 5-6 years ago to go to Panama with 5-6 families and mesh into the fabric of the Volcan community. You know, Holdermen are real easy to spot and converse with if you’re so inclined. And I also found evidence of their online tract ministry with amazing resources for spiritually deficient in a coffee shop in David, the second largest City in Panama, less than 30 minutes from their community in Volcan.

I personally watched the Lancaster Amish first enter the Shiloh OH community in ’74 while I was working for Mast Lepley Silo, when I poured a footer for a new silo for one of the families, and then returned in ’89 when there were nearly a hundred plus families living there and many of the dairy families were then my NSWS Labs customers.

And now I look at my home community of Scandanavians around the Frazee, MN. community that is well on the way to having 100 Amish families living now on those thinly graveled township roads thriving with their cottage industries, 20-30 years after the traditional NPK agricultural methods and liquid manure destroyed nature’s restorative life cycles. Rather than composting and gardening to rebuild what little top soil was there, it is now ready for the Amish to settle it again, much as the early immigrants did from Germany, Norway, Finland, Sweden, even Denmark, when they came to the upper midwest 150 years ago with the methodology, truth be told, invented by the educated persecuted Catholic priests of the Anabaptist movement who were forced into the hinterlands of Europe who developed rotational cropping, legumes, dairy breeds, etc that in time revolutionized European agriculture as I personally witnessed in Kosovo nearly 20 years ago, and in time, was brought predominately to the Great Lakes Region of the US, and many of us post WWI & WWII Anabaptists, were unwittingly, brought full circle to become again a recipient of that Reformation sub-culture!

And now just this very morning, I get this rather revealing email from Anabaptist World; titled “Faithful Voices, Fresh Perspectives.” In fact, the most positive approach I can likely offer it is to just post it in it’s entirety for you to read, absorb, interpret, & process.

Hey, dear Anabaptist World reader!

I don’t know where you find yourself in life’s journey. You might be just starting out after college, in the midst of the very full years of work and family, perhaps enjoying retirement or anywhere in between.

In our profession of faith-focused journalism, we know our primary paid print subscribers are usually 50 years and older. And even though that is true, it is also true that our readers desire to see and learn about how the younger generations are participating in their faith and communities.

That is also true for our AW staff. We are always trying to find content about or written by youth and young adults. As part of this pursuit we are launching — in partnership with The Coalition to Dismantle the Doctrine of Discovery, Mennonite Action and Anabaptist Climate Collaborative — a new youth zine named A Dangerous Faith.

All the content will be by and for youth and young adults. Our goal is to publish at least three times a year and have a dedicated space on the AW website for even more pieces by our young sisters and brothers. We hope this is both inspirational and community-building. We want to give them space to share for themselves what their faith means to them and where they feel God’s presence in their lives and the world. The pages will be in their voices and provide opportunities for them to explore faith practices through reflection and action.

Become a member of AW Friends to help amplify the voices of Anabaptist youth and young adults :

I’m so excited and grateful to have such awesome partner organizations building this with us. I would have loved to get my hands on something like this when I was a teenager. (yeah, I only had the Builder, Youth Christian Companion (later PURPOSE ?) Gospel Herald, Mennonite Weekly and Christian Living!)

Another way AW tries to build up young adults is through internships. Over the years, we’ve had a number of gifted individuals work with us as they explore where they want to go professionally. Most recently, we’ve published a series on Climate Stewards by Sierra Ross Richer, who was an AW intern.

As the only independent Anabaptist publication in the United States, we believe it is part of our responsibility to help form the next generation of Anabaptist journalists and writers. Not only that, but it is a joy to do so! If you are reading this and you feel young, maybe a bit inexperienced but with an idea of an article, theme or lead, please know we want to hear from you. Please don’t let that stop you from sharing your heart, thoughts and experiences.

Support our community efforts by becoming a member of AW Friends today >

The rest of us who are a bit further along in our journeys want you to be at the table.

For those of you who are reading this and know exactly what I mean and also yearn for our youth to be energized participants in communities of faith, thank you for making space for them with us here at Anabaptist World.

We are in the middle of our summer membership drive, and more new members translates into more resources to dedicate to initiatives that invest in our amazing young people.

Please, join us today and become an AW Friend with our membership program by giving $10 or more a month. In return, you’ll know that you are doing something to fight for independent journalism for our faith communities. We will give you exclusive AW swag, a monthly members-only newsletter with behind the scenes information about AW, and you’ll have special opportunities to speak into our work.

It’s tough out here in the print journalism world, folks, so please help us build a sustainable future for our work.

In gratitude,

Danielle Klotz, Executive Director
Anabaptist World

merlin’s rantings continue…

To be fair, understand I just received my July 2025 edition of the Sword and the Trumpet in my Dalton PO Box before I left for Panama. Most of you have never heard of this publication, and suffice it to say, likely few of the graduates of our Mennonite Colleges & Seminaries have either. Founded in 1929, “It is committed to defending, proclaiming, and promoting the whole Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, as revealed in the Holy Scriptures. It emphasizes neglected truth and contends for the “faith which was once delivered to the saints. This publication exposes and opposes doctrinal error which compromises faith and leads to apostasy.”

On one hand, if you’ve read my July 22 post titled “My Insurance Man emailed this Farewell Mon Eve,” and others, you’ll understand then why this letter from Danielle Klotz causes me to internally weep, lament, … as did the exiles in Babylon. I realize this letter may take me awhile, even months, to fully process. Remember this fermentation for church growth began for me in already in 1975! On the other hand, I want to be hopeful from the Klotz letter, but I’m skittish, and understandably so, first by big Agriculture as I traced its rise and fall since the Anabaptists to the Amish resettling now bankrupt shells of chemically broken down farms that were once, with proper methodology, formerly thriving Scandinavian farms until the 1970 farming economics sucked their financial wells dry!

And then, perhaps, being even more distraught & dubious on the church side of the two-sided church/ agricultural cultural coin, for a meaningful God inspired intervention. Many of you are much better versed about past & current Mennonite Church history than I. Yes, the problem is systemic, both by us individually, but also, as churches & conferences, corporately. There have been and are valiant attempts to right the ship beginning with the vision of Daniel Kauffman (1865-1944), The Sword & the Trumpet mentioned above, and most recently, by Conrad L. Kanagy to the Mennonite Church at large, in his book “Road Signs for the Journey.”

Though actually, I’d be greatly remiss not to include Christian Aid Ministries (CAM) favorite son & author, Gary Miller, for he in my humble estimation, has more winsomely, practically and theologically positively impacted the Anabaptist gospel perspective than any one person, pastor, author, evangelist, etc. since Daniel Kauffman, mentioned above, for whom I’m strongly considering printing his bio from the July 2025 issue from Sword and the Trumpet so we latter rain Menno’s get a glimpse of what might constitute a worthy standard during these days of Anabaptist Hospice Care? But again, who will listen to such a “foreign sound or message?” Reminds me of Paul visiting Athens, and addressing their “Unknown god.” Anyone relate?

Personally, at 76, I now just focus on the individual souls God places in my yet visible cross-hairs and compels me to gently, lovingly invitationally interact with them to discover their life’s bottom line for them today; not their past glories, not some future grandeur, but right now! And that can take a couple sessions over weeks, even months, sometimes years, or if with Hospice on a hospital bed, it may resemble more of a McDonalds drive-thru.

Funny thing, that I was so compelled to go back into that completed blog tonight and add that prayer request for my cousins reunion three hours ago, and even more so, that I obeyed. At that moment, I had a head ache, was ill, had a broken rib from an explosive sneeze earlier in the afternoon (OI caused. I do know ribs better than likely any of you!), and was definitely ready for bed when I started this rant. Now, I’m feeling good (rib still pains me) but I’m ready to tackle the leak under the sink! Blessings to each of you. And if you still need a lift, read Romans 12! It worked for me!

PROLOGUE: ARE YOU FULLY CHARGED?

Greetings All:

I’m sorry if you’re tired of me referencing this book again, but author Tom Rath has been front & center in my sub-conscience, likely more than any other author except for maybe Dr. Henry Cloud, for the past 5-6 years since I first read Rath’s Eat Move Sleep book. I find it difficult that it took me until last fall to be “compelled” to order his decade old book Are You Fully Charged?  (AYFC) Even stranger, he has authored several others I’ve not yet even researched, perhaps this winter. I say all that to suggest that for right now, just read this prologue slowly and carefully and see if it just might resonate with the passion and desires of your heart as well as the mission of your soul for the hours we each have left to serve Him. More opportunities ahead.

Tomorrow, July 30, is a big day. We’re driving to Orlando Airport at 2 AM from Sarasota to fly to Panama to begin our second trial winter. We’ve been preparing for this since early June and the day is finally here. Pray for His protection and that we complete all the hoops in Panama City with the vets to bring our puppy Angel into the country. Blessings to all.

PROLOGUE:

When you are fully charged, you get more done. You have better interactions. Your mind is sharp, and your body is strong. On days when you are fully charged, you experience high levels of engagement and well-being. This charge carries forward, creating an upward cycle for those you care about.

          I am far more effective in my work on days when I am fully charged. I am also a better husband, dad, and friend. More notably, I can do more for others. However, until recently, it was unclear to me what specific actions create this daily charge.

          I’ve spent my entire career studying workplace engagement, health, and well-being. While I have written several books on these topics, the greatest challenge I have faced personally is how to integrate findings from my research into my own daily routines. After all, knowledge does little good unless I can change my behaviors.

          Fortunately, a new body or research has recently emerged that focuses on creating daily well-being. Historically, asking people questions and tracking their actions was time consuming and expensive. As a result, researchers gathered broad, general information about people’s lives and work. Most research on well-being over the past century was based on asking people about their lives over the span of years or decades.

          When people are asked to reflect on an entire lifetime, the first things they think of are broad concepts like health and wealth. The problem is, these general measures are not very practical for improving people’s lives on a daily basis. Health is the sum of many years. Wealth is not created in a span of days. This is why a different way of measuring what’s important in life is crucial.

The Science of Daily Experience

          The time and cost of tracking what people do are now remarkably low. It is much easier to measure thoughts, feelings, and behaviors on a daily, even momentary, basis. New technology enables scientists to ask people what they are doing at various times of the day, who they are with, and how much they enjoy an activity. Sensors and wearable devices can even measure how people are doing, with no input required from those wearing devices.

          These technologies, paired with innovative research methods, have led to a rapid expansion in knowledge about the central elements of daily well-being. Researchers call this daily experience, which is the product of positive and negative experiences (or positive and negative affect) throughout the day. Daily experience is measured by asking people whether they have emotions like happiness, enjoyment, stress, and other feelings within a given day. This distinction between daily well-being and broad evaluation of life satisfaction is important because it leads to very different conclusions about the best investment of time and resources.

          Traditional measures of life satisfaction, for example, might suggest putting a great deal of energy into increasing your income. Yet, although life satisfaction scores continue to increase (almost indefinitely) with income, making more money does not actually change daily experience once people reach an income threshold.

          In the United States, for example, daily well-being does not show any statistically significant increases after someone reaches $75,000 of annual household income. While this figure has received a good deal of attention, people tend to miss the fact that almost all of gains in daily well-being associated with increases of incomes occur below the $40,000 level. Essentially, a certain income level is necessary for food, shelter, and preventing daily worries, but once you have reached that basic level of financial security, making more money is unlikely to lead to better days.

          The study of daily-well being is also upending the conventional wisdom that wealthier countries have happier citizens. In the past, when scientists looked at life satisfaction, the wealthiest countries were consistently at the top of the national well-being rankings. But when Gallup asked people in 138 countries about their daily experience, the results told a very different story. The country with the highest “positive experience” score was Paraguay, a nation that ranks 105th in terms of its wealth (measured by GDP per capita). Among the top five countries on this daily well-being index, four were in the bottom half of the wealthiest countries list!

          This research is encouraging to me because it suggests that daily well- being does not depend on accumulating riches or living in a wealthy country. The more I’ve learned about the difference between long-term evaluation and daily experience, the more I’ve grown to understand the importance of the latter. Personally, I care a lot more about laughing, smiling, and enjoying moments with my wife and kids today than I might rate my overall life satisfaction 10 years from now. And trying to help people improve their day-to-day experiences is more practical than trying to improve their life satisfaction over time.

          Your own satisfaction with life certainly matters. But you create meaningful change in moments and days, not years and decades. It is easier to improve your own happiness – and the well-being of others – when you focus on doing it right now. Taking small meaningful actions today is the best way to make changes. And eventually, these small changes will lead to important long-term outcomes.

The Three Keys to a Full Charge

          To discover what creates a full charge, my team and I reviewed countless articles and academic studies, and interviewed some of the world’s leading social scientists. We identified and catalogues more than 2600 ideas for improving daily experience. As we narrowed down the concepts to the most proven and practical strategies, underlying patterns continued to surface. Three key conditions differentiate days when you have a full charge from typical days:

          Meaning:  doing something that benefits another person

          Interactions:  creating far more positive than negative moments

          Energy:   making choices that improve your mental and physical health

          When we surveyed more than 10,000 people to see how they were doing across these three areas, we found that most people struggle on a daily basis. For example, when we asked them to think about their entire day yesterday, a mere 11 percent reported having a great deal of energy. Clearly, most people are operating well below their capacity.

          As a result, they are less effective in their work. Their interactions with friends and family are nowhere near as good as they could be. And their physical health worsens as days with too much stress and too little activity accumulate. It is time for this to change.

 BOTTOM LINE:  

       The good news is that you don’t have to go on a retreat in the woods to find meaning, you don’t nee to find new friends at a cocktail party to have better interactions, and you certainly don’t need to run a marathon or embark on a fad diet to create physical energy. The biggest changes for your daily well-being start with a few small steps.  

NEXT UP: We’ll see when we get back to our Boquete home again. May take a few days off!

DO YOU WISH YOU KNEW THE FUTURE?

Plain Values July 25, 2025

Words by Ferree Hardy

The summer before my first husband, Bruce, died, we took a rare walk down the street behind our house. Just as rarely, we talked about our future instead of the usual concerns involving our children or the church Bruce pastored. The setting sun cast long shadows and golden rays as it neared the tree-lined horizon. The air was calm and light, and so were we. This was just a leisurely stroll after supper.

We wondered out loud, “What lay ahead for us?” Bruce had been pastoring Riverview Church in Novelty, Ohio for almost seven years. He’d pastored two other churches before coming here. In each one, at the six or seven year mark, it just happened that another church would ask him to come to them. Would we sense God’s calling and be moving on to a different church once again?

Our roots were settled deep with this congregation. When we were first married, they called Bruce to be their first youth pastor. Now he was back as their senior pastor. The teenagers we’d loved so much when he was the youth pastor were young adults now—marrying and starting their own families. I taught their children in Sunday School and Children’s Church. Our own children were teenagers, involved in the church youth group, baseball, and a variety of school events. We’d purchased a home. Life was good.

I had even given notice at my full-time job that I’d be leaving at the end of the year, or as soon as we could find and train my replacement. I was looking forward to being a full-time mother and wife. Staying home would be a huge—but welcomed—change.

Yet, we both sensed that there was something more—that a deeper level of change was out there. What was it, and how should we prepare? We were blissfully, and blessedly, unaware of the brain aneurism that waited ahead in the dead of winter.

When I interviewed Marlin and Sharon Beachy for their story* last month, they told me something that I didn’t have room to include then, but it’s fitting for today. They said, “We don’t want to know the future.” I agreed wholeheartedly, and we had a great conversation. Isn’t it better to live each day as if it’s our last? Life is precious; the people in it are precious. If we knew our “expiration date,” it might consume us with anxiety; some of us might cower and hide. Or if we had plenty of years left, we might squander the here and now.

I wish you’d been in on our talk. What thoughts would you have added? Why not share this article with your community of friends, neighbors, and family and hear what they have to say? I’d love to hear from you too, so please feel free to contact me. My address is at the end of this column. I can learn from you; this is an important topic for your input and perspective.

But let’s continue the walk from those many years ago. After some moments of silence, Bruce and I came to the end of the street. Dried grass and wildflowers—Queen Anne’s Lace, the papery blue flowers on chicory, and the deep brown seeds clinging to stems of curled dock brushed lightly as we turned and headed back home. As our house came into view, so did the plan. Almost simultaneously we agreed: the next thing we were to do was to “get the house ready.” That was all we needed to know. Whether Bruce was called to a new pastorate and we’d need to sell, or whether we’d stay in this lovely place long enough to see grandchildren running through the living room, “get the house ready,” was a good directive. Innocently, I just thought we’d strip off the old wallpaper and give the walls a fresh coat of paint.

Years later, at lunch with a group of widows in Charlotte, North Carolina, I mentioned this rather mysterious incident. My widowed community gave me the crystal clear meaning of “get the house ready.” Without hesitation, one of the women gasped, “Set your house in order!” She was referring to the Old Testament story of King Hezekiah being told by the prophet Isaiah that his death was imminent. “In those days Hezekiah was sick and near death. And Isaiah the prophet, the son of Amoz, went to him and said to him, “Thus says the Lord: ‘Set your house in order, for you shall die, and not live.’” (NKJV)

Looking back, I realize that although we never connected our plan with Hezekiah’s at the time, God did give us what we needed to know that day. Months later, the day after Bruce died, a carpenter and a designer both knocked on my door. They had no way of knowing what had happened the night before, and they were there for the appointment we’d made to help us “get the house ready.” I was numbed by shock and grief, so I asked them to come in and get started! Awkward and unnerving as that must have been, they did.

Over the next weeks as wallpaper was stripped, the floors redone, and everything was a mess, it pictured perfectly what was happening to my life. My life was being stripped; my footing would never look the same. I understood a bit more of Jesus’s work as a carpenter, and of God’s work as my designer. I don’t want to make light of how painful it was, but widowhood was a fresh coat of paint, new flooring, and much more storage space in my heart.

My community of Plain Values readers, widowed friends, and The Divine Carpenter and Perfect Designer continually gives me cohesion, order, and peace. The wisdom of widows is a priceless perspective. Make sure you see, acknowledge, and consult the widows in your community today.

BOTTOM LINE:

And, like Marlin and Sharon Beachy also told me, “It’s the grace of God that we don’t know the future … Do not dwell on IF your loved one might die. Instead, love them to the fullest.”

The future we plan for ourselves is tenuous at best. We have no guarantees except the never-changing ones from Jesus: God is love, God is good, He cares for you … Therefore, He has the full authority to tell us, “Do not worry about tomorrow…” Matthew 6:34 (NKJV)

Let’s rest our future in God’s hands.

*See “When A Phone Call Marks the Darkest Night,” Plain Values, June 2023.

To learn more about widowhood, order a copy of Postcards from the Widows’ Path—Gleaning Hope and Purpose from the Book of Ruth. It’s a gentle, biblical guide for widows that has many saying, “This is the best I’ve ever read!” Mail a check for $14.99/copy (paperback, 248 pgs.), along with your address to: Ferree Hardy, 76 Grace Ave., Ticonderoga, NY 12883. Please allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

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