Category: Personal Interest

Again, if you missed Mon & Tues, read those posts first, before this conclusion.

“Wendell, if you’re going to Hong Kong, go now!” said the gentle voice loud and as clear as it was right next to me.

My eyes flew open, and I jumped up.

A wave of adrenaline rushed through my body as I quickly realized that nobody was there. I ran out of the barn.

“Hey, Wes, where are you? What do you want?” I quickly ran all the way around the barn, calling out, “Who’s there? Where are you?

After several minutes of searching both inside and outside of the barn, I knew the answer, though I had known it all along. No human had been there. God had clearly given me the next step that I had been praying and fasting for. The direction was so loud and clear that there was no way I could disavow it. Only God could have known what I was praying and fasting for. Not even Daisy knew.

I collapsed to the floor where I had been sitting just a few minutes earlier, trembling, and terrified as the realization of what had just happened settled into my mind. “If you’re going to Hong Kong, go now,” I had been clearly directed. “If you are going …” made it my choice. “To Hong Kong …” was the destination. “Go now …” gave me the time frame. Everything I’ve been asking God for had come in that simple life changing sentence.

God, in a moment, had set before me a new path for my life, a path I’d assumed He had been preparing for a long, long time. Now, the choice was mine to make: stay the course I had been on for the past few years or risk an adventure with Jesus on a narrow, uncharted path that seemed fraught with all kinds of imagined and un-imagined peril.

As I leaned back against that barn pole, my pounding heart immediately responded to God’s challenge with a huge enthusiastic yes! But, just as emphatically, though, my mind screamed out “No, no, no, no! Don’t do this! Think it through first. Be reasonable. Consider your career. Look at this beautiful car you just you still need to finish waxing. Think about all the bills that need paying. Think about the baby that is due in 6 months. It was the same old arguments that had kept me awake night after night after night. It was that bothersome old giant of compromise trying to make a last-ditch, desperate grab to hold on to his territory.

It was time! This battle was on for real! The giant was going to go down, now or never! I put the lid back on that can of wax and threw it into the trunk of the car. I’ll find out for sure if I’m ready to go really to go in this new direction. I’ll see what Daisy says when I tell her how God is guiding us! With that, I left the barn and the half-finished wax job and walked back to our new unfinished house that I had been investing so much time, energy, and money in. I found Daisy standing at the stove stirring a pot of vegetable soup as I stepped into the kitchen.

“OK, God,” I prayed silently, “if Daisy agrees with this insanity, then, for sure, this must be You directing our lives.”

“Daisy,” I said softly, my insides feeling like Jelly, “I’ve just received some very clear direction from God.”

Daisy stopped stirring the soup, and without turning away from her project, replied, “Oh and what did you hear?”

“What I heard was. ‘If we’re going to go to Hong Kong, we are to go now,”’ I said without any expression of emotion or further explanation.

“And how soon do we actually leave?” Daisy asked as she slowly turned to face me.

I hadn’t prepared to answer that question yet. However, without giving a second thought and knowing I had to give one month advance notification at the college if I would leave my teaching position, I replied, “We leave in one month. I’ll turn in my resignation tomorrow!”

“Wendell, are you sure this is of God?” Daisy asked.

I told her what had transpired over the past months and in the barn a few minutes earlier.

“OK,” she simply said in affirmation and, with that, turned back to give her full attention to the vegetable soup.

I stared at the small bulge beginning to show on her stomach and had to wonder again at my sanity. “OK, God we’re in this for real! I’m really, really scared, but I don’t want to miss what You have for us. Please help us to see through this to the end-whenever, wherever, however that is!”

NEXT UP: We’ll see!

You Are Called: Discover Your God-Given Gifts To Fulfill Your Purpose

Day Three: Wed Oct 15

Good morning readers. Before we leave the dock today, we need to clarify some ground rules and review the understanding of our engaging. All of these posts are taken 99% verbatim from the book. Today this section of Chapter One is appropriately titled, a Paradigm Shift. Why, because I’m thinking a few of you possibly took offense of the $555 million sale mentioned in yesterday’s post. Those dollar figures did not sit well with me either, and especially so, when they are examples in a spiritual scenario like this. However, folks, the bottom line here I believe, is this simple fact. It is a true account! Just like Ananias & Sapphira in Acts 5. Remember them? Perhaps, if you had trouble with that account, you will here too. As always, everything said or implied in this blog, is written to me, first & foremost, to the best of my abilities.

We all must continually be on guard to avoid molding our pettiness, and judgmentalism into the facts of His Stories! I invite you to walk this journey with me. I’m counting that the truths in this book will circle the wagons around our family’s festive tables during the upcoming holidays, such that my goofy subtitle, “A Real-Deal Spiritual Analysis & Catalyst Stimulus Package,” does get off the ground, possibly even activating our being RETOOLED, such that we inwardly and outwardly, begin to THRIVE! If so accomplished, be thankful, give God His Glory, enjoy the memories. Our futures soon will be so different, prompting the question, is our christian attitude, or our propensity for material entitlement, sinful?

 A PARADIGM SHIFT:

If you question your purpose or have similar thoughts, I’m so happy you’re either listening to, or reading this introduction. It is my sincere hope that your paradigm will also shift. As with Stan, be honest with yourself. Doing so will help you connect your dots. In this posture of humility, you’ll discover and then, firmly believe in, multiplying your unique gifts for building the kingdom.

This concept of multiplying is one we will explore in depth as we go along. You’re just as called by God as your pastor or anyone else. Your calling is just as legitimate as the late Billy Graham, or of any well-known kingdom-building/leadership participants today of today, including apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors (shepherds), teachers, in whatever specific vocational roles or skill-sets you’ve been so entrusted. Think for a moment, about how fully you can embrace this statement. “I’m just as called by God as anyone else on earth…” Which of the following responses best reflects your present belief and honest mindset about this?

1. I can clearly recognize that some people are more called by God than I am.
2. I want to believe that I am just as called by God as anyone else, but I’m not there yet.
3. Yes, I mentally accept that I am called by God but my heart doesn’t really feel it.
4. Yes, in my mind and heart, I believe I’m just as called by God as anyone else.

Write your different response if you have one, on a piece of paper. If you struggle to believe that you’re just as called by God as anyone else, what can you identify as the root reason for your resistance to this? Here, as with all the reflection sections in the book, you’re invited to use paper to jot down your responses. I’d actually begin with a notebook, maybe a journal, and then put these thoughts down and also make these thoughts into prayers or questions that you can ask yourself as time goes by. In this guidebook we’ll explore how to discover, develop and most importantly, multiply your gifts to enhance your specific calling. The Word of God and the stories contained in this book will build your faith to greatly increase your effectiveness. I know this first hand as it happened with me as I was creating this book, Born On Purpose,  For A Purpose.

Bottom Line:

FYI, I liken a paradigm shift to an earthquake under your home or farm. The coming spiritual & cultural paradigm shifts will be more devastating than the earthquakes. My advice. Embrace the teachings of Jesus. RETOOL as He instructs. THRIVE thru the Final Eternal Gathering. Claim your rewards. Enter your mansion. Enjoy Eternity. All not easily comprehensible with earthly minds.

To Be Continued.

You Are Called: Discover Your God-Given Gifts To Fulfill Your Purpose by John Bevere

Tuesday Oct 14 Day Two:

“How do you mean?” he asked. I then explained to Stan that God has divinely gifted every one of his children to build His kingdom. However, we are stewards and we can therefore choose at any given time to use these gifts in one of three ways.

1. We can use the gifts to build God’s kingdom.
2. We can use the gifts to build ourselves, or 
3. We can neglect the gifts altogether.

Take a moment to pray, acknowledging before God what He and you, may desire your future to look like regarding your most important gifts from Him, even if you’re not yet certain what those gifts really are. Ask for His help and guidance. You may want to use the following phrases if they match your genuine desire to follow him.

“Most High Father God, as You now in this moment and the next days, make me more fully aware of my gifts from you, help me to embrace and not neglect them. Help me, Heavenly Father, to use my gifts to build up your kingdom. Meanwhile, I trust you Lord God to provide security and meaningful well-being in the future for my family and me according to your own love and wisdom.

Write your different responses down on paper.

I had Stan’s attention so I continued. “Some of my obvious gifts are writing and speaking. Your gifts are related to business and giving. You can see how my gifts are used to build the kingdom but perhaps you don’t see how your gifts can be used to build the kingdom. However, here’s the truth. Your gifts Stan, are just as important for building the kingdom of God as mine are. In fact, yours may be more important and yet, you have not connected the dots.”

We continued to talk along these lines. From our conversation, I found it both fulfilling and enjoyable to see the rapid change in Stan’s thoughts and attitude.

THE UPDATE:

Six months later, I called Stan to touch base. We had another unforgettable chat.  “Hey Stan, how you doing?

“Do you want the honest truth?” His answer caught me off guard. “Well yeah, of course!”

“I’ve been haunted in a good way by the words you spoke to me six months ago.”

I replied, “What are you doing about it?” With a laugh, he quickly stated, “I’ve pulled out all the stops to build my business up to $35 million for the sake of building the Kingdom of God.”

“Well, that’s great Stan!”

Now, fast-forward to 2022, ten years after our initial conversation. I received a text from Stan, which he signed, “$70 million Stan.” Stan has grasped the reality that he’s not merely a spectator in advancing the kingdom of God, but now, a vital participant. He has caught the vision which eludes so many; that his unique abilities are valuable for the eternal, not just for the temporal fleeting vapors now appearing on our mirrors! Stan fully understands he’s gifted for a greater purpose than his family and himself. I’m so grateful that he was blunt, sincere, and humble. These traits opened him up to receive truth that would change his life, and due to his testimony, the lives of so many others in turn.

Just recently, I received this text from Stan. “Years ago, after our first encounter, I started a new company with three Jewish men. Again, this was after you and I had our first long talk. Now, here’s the news I told you I was going to share with you when I could. This morning, we closed on the sale of the company to a private equity group in New York, very exciting! We ended up selling for $555,000,000. Thank you for your words of wisdom!”

Stan’s enlightenment has now become his motivation to multiply his efforts and it exemplifies the primary purpose of this book. In conversing with believers throughout my years of travel the vast number who think no differently than Stan did, is a shocking reality. In fact, if I were backed into a corner, I would have to say it’s the majority. However, many are not as forthright as Stan was in admitting it. But as conversations ensue, the disconnect is uncovered.

In the light of Stan’s story, how do you view your own gifts and abilities? Which of the following statements best reflects your honest response?

1. I believe God wants to use my gifts and abilities for building His kingdom,
2. I fail to see a close connection between building God’s kingdom and my own gifts, and abilities.
3. Or, write down a totally different response that really fits with you.

To be continued…

He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. 2 Corinthians 5:21

merlin’s Intro: I have no recollection of ever reading this Nature of Reconciliation Utmost document prior! For me today, that is really quite unsettling because just minutes ago, I got off the phone with my sister Verla, who shared a prayer request from her girl-friend, for her husband, who is a second cousin of ours, who was born 360 days prior me, possessing all the physique attributes I missed out on, as did my dad. I always admired him for his “build”, his athletic skills, etc. It seems over the weekend while visiting their son’s family in the next state, he lost his mental & cognitive “bearings,” so to speak, such that his wife decided it was just best they return home and seek help. Though slowly loosing mental acuity for the past several years, he was still driving for his local errands, but on the ride home from their son’s house, at times he didn’t even know his wife. I only mention this all now because I find it extremely difficult for me to believe for as impactful as this reconciliation reading was for me with its strategic spiritual insights Tuesday at 6:30 AM, I find it very disturbing I have zero recollection of ever reading it prior. And Loretta & I have read Utmost daily, more on than off, since 1993. Need I say more? But, do pray for Denny & Connie, and their medical team. Thank you. And maybe, for me too?

This Utmost reading must hold the record for the most quotable spiritual one liners. That is why I removed the paragraphs, otherwise the one-liner’s acuity, wit and sharpness, all get lost in the sauce!. Initially, I did not understand the second line in this reading, (that’s not at all unusual) so I just removed it in this post. It just didn’t compute with me. FYI, it was the second sentence, and it read, “The Christian faith bases everything on the extreme, self-confident nature of sin.” Do you get it? That was not explained in my euphoric 7^th grade catechism when I exuded a cocky self-confidence that I know now was absolutely based on my “wrong being,” a deliberate and determined independence from God.

But do understand, my second cousin’s escapade does cause me to count my blessings. Not that any of us oldsters would ever admit such tendencies, discrepancies, losses, confusion, etc.. but such “new normals” just seem to keep showing up as another one of those ever-present dangers lurking in our carry-on baggage.

But wait a minute! Perhaps the brain fog is lifting. Perhaps Chambers is saying God already knew even before His Ground Zero Moment before time began, that mankind, including myself, would fill the role of an extremely cocky kid exuding self confidence in open rebellion, and therefore, in pursuit of all us rebels, of course, God had a plan. And today we all are the players on the stage for His Greatest Biblical Pursual Love Story ever told, and naturally, it is the basis of our faith today. Sorry Chambers, my mistake.

The Bottom Line will be first today.

BOTTOM LINE:

SIN is a fundamental relationship— it is not wrong doing, but wrong being— it is deliberate and determined independence from God.

Other religions deal with sins— the Bible alone deals with SIN.

The first thing Jesus Christ confronted in people was the HEREDITY OF SIN, and it is because we have ignored this in our presentation of the gospel that the message of the gospel has lost its sting and its explosive power. Anyone compelled to Biblically explain this so I can understand it? Thank you, I saw your hand! E-mail me.

SUPPORTING EVIDENCE:

1. The revealed truth of the Bible is not that Jesus Christ took on Himself our fleshly sins, but that He took on Himself the HEREDITY OF SIN that no man can even touch.
2. God made His own Son “to be sin” that He might make the sinner into a SAINT.
3. It is revealed throughout the Bible that our Lord took on Himself the SIN OF THE WORLD through IDENTIFICATION WITH US, & absolutely not through SYMPATHY for us.
4. He deliberately took on His own shoulders, and endured in His own body, the complete, CUMULATIVE SIN OF THE HUMAN RACE.
5. “He made Him who knew no sin to be SIN FOR US…” and by so doing He placed salvation for the entire human race solely on the basis of redemption.
6. I am so looking forward to Jesus Christ reconciling the human race, & restoring or putting it back to where God designed it to be.
7. And now anyone can experience that reconciliation, being brought into oneness with God, on the basis of what our Lord has done on the cross.

BEWARE: Redemption’s Contract’s Small Print…

A man cannot redeem himself— redemption is the work of God, and is absolutely finished and complete.

And its application to individual people is a matter of their own individual action or response to it.

A distinction must always be made between the revealed truth of redemption and the actual conscious experience of salvation in a person’s life.

NEXT NOT UP:

As I crafted the 4 prior posts, I frequently considered just deleting the whole series; for many reasons, likely all inconsequential for you, especially after the fact. Strange how I’m given these truths to develop, and then I so struggle to present them in practical clarity of value for you readers. The next post is waiting in the delivery room. We’ll see.  

Here follows a document I’ve merely compiled, certainly not crafted, that I’ve been contemplating since the Sept 17 Utmost reading that inspired me to offer you these four posts:

1. God does not save us from temptations – He sustains us in the midst of them.
2. The Importance We Understanding Chamber’s Disdain For Considering Civilization With Any Permanency…
3. The reality that the American christianity has in essence joined the four other major christ-less world religions, such that..
4. Hopefully, at this late hour, we as former encultured doubting Thomas’s are finally, practically convinced, that there is only one true God worthy of our worship anywhere, and the now forming obscure anonymous underground cells of remnant clusters of His Christ-Followers scattered about planet earth, are indeed celebrating their faith undeterred, unfettered, in the bright fullness of His Righteousness, rejoicing that they are counted worthy of suffering with / for their Savior and Lord. Hallelujah!

Your comments and prayers for greater truth & clarity are continually welcomed!

Post # 1. But Until Then, Is There Good in Temptation? My Utmost For His Highest Sept 17

No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man… 1 Corinthians 10:13

Note: the words in this reading in all caps are merlin’s additions to the reading!

The word temptation has come to mean something bad to us today, as we tend to use the word in the wrong way. UNDERSTAND, temptation itself is not sin; it is something we are bound to face simply by virtue of being human. PERHAPS, not to be tempted, would mean that we were already so shameful that we would be beneath contempt. Yet many of us suffer from temptations we should never have to suffer, simply because we have refused to allow God to lift us to a higher level where we would face temptations of another kind. (I DO NOT RECALL OF HEARING THIS PRIOR?)

A person’s inner nature, what he possesses in the inner, spiritual part of his being, determines what he is tempted by on the outside. The temptation fits the true nature of the person being tempted and reveals the possibilities of his nature, OR THE INNER REALITIES of his SPIRITUAL NATURE. Every person actually determines or sets the level of his own temptation, because temptation will come to him in accordance with the level of his controlling, inner nature.

EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT A MECHANIC, I’M GOING TO ATTEMPT TO EXPLAIN THIS “CONTROLLING INNER NATURE” CHAMBER’S SPEAKS OF PRIOR, TO A DEVICE CALLED A “GOVERNOR” THAT I WITNESSED IN OPERATION ON OUR GASOLINE TRACTOR ENGINE BACK HOME AS A CHILD. THIS WAS ESPECIALLY EVIDENT BY BOTH SIGHT AND SOUND WHILE POWERING THE THRESHING MACHINE OR SILO FILLER, SUCH THAT THIS “GOVENOR” DEVICE SENSED (DISCERNED) PRESUMEDLY BY A DROP IN THE ENGINES’ VACUMN THAT THE ENGINE NEEDED MORE GASOLINE ASAP TO MAKE MORE POWER BECAUSE OF THE INCREASED LOAD DEMAND CAUSED BY WE KIDS PURPOSEFULLY INCREASING THE SPEED WITH WHICH WE FORKED THE BUNDLES ONTO THE CONVEYOR, INSTANTLY DEMANDING MORE ENGINE RPM’S (SPEED) IN ORDER  TO KEEP UP WITH OUR INCREASED BUNDLE FLOW, OR ELSE, IF THE BUNDLE PACE CONTINUED AND THE GOVENOR DID NOT INCREASE THE FLOW OF FUEL, THE ENGINE WOULD HAVE GONE INTO A STALL CAUSING THE THRESHING MACHINE TO POSSIBLY PLUG UP, TO THE INSTANT CHAGRIN OF OUR FATHERS, PERHAPS NOT UNLIKE THE DISPLEASURE OF OUR HEAVENLY FATHER WHEN WE’RE STIFLING EITHER THE  DISCERNMENT OR RESPONSIVE ACTIONS APPROPRIATE OF OUR TEMPTATIONS.

Temptation comes to me, suggesting a possible shortcut to the realization of my highest goal. (OUR SELFISH GAIN?) It does not NECESSARILY direct me toward what I understand to be evil, but toward what I understand, OR DESIRE, to be good. Temptation is something that confuses me for a while WHEN I don’t know whether something is right or wrong. When I yield to it, I have made lust a god, and the temptation itself becomes the proof that it was only my own fear that prevented me from falling into the sin earlier, AS OPPOSED TO BEING UNCONCIOUSLY PROTECTED FROM WHATEVER BE THE TEMPTATION, BY THE INDWELLING OF HIS EMPOWERING SPIRIT’S GROUNDSWELL OF AUTOMATIC REDEMPTIVE ACTIONS, MUCH LIKE THE “GOVENOR” ABOVE EMPOWERING THE STRESSED OUT GASOLINE ENGINE NEEDING MORE POWER ASAP!

Temptation is not something we can escape; NOR NECESSARILY DESIRE TO; in fact, it is essential to the well-rounded life of a person. Beware of thinking that you are tempted as no one else. What you go through is the common inheritance of the human race, not something that no one has ever before endured. God does not save us from temptations. RATHER, He sustains us in the midst of them (see Hebrews 2:18 & Hebrews 4:15-16).

NEXT UP:   Post #2. The Importance We Understand For Chamber’s Disdain For Considering Civilization With Permanency…

God, I know you called me here to share the gospel of your kingdom. You did not bring me here to lie around and feel sorry for myself. Please God give me strength!    Then, I remembered the promise, “I can do this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13 NLT)

As I stated yesterday, personally, I’m intrigued by how Wendel honesty captures the essence of our daily struggles of obedience to our Master, amid the assaulting distractions launched by our avowed soul’s enemy, within our spirit, soul, & body, heart, mind, & will, and especially in our imaginations working overtime, as Wendell shares in this two post account. Wendell was sick several days prior this event and the bug literally followed him several weeks during the trip home to FL. Currently, Loretta & I are reading the book thru out loud to each other most mornings, ready to begin ch 17 today, titled “When God Leads.”

Part II

Over the next thirty minutes, as the house filled with songs of worship, I found myself in a raging battle for my heart. On the one hand, logic screamed that what had been said was the truth. I was simply a novelty, “the world’s youngest evangelist.” To me, though, that implied I was unqualified and unworthy, immature, an oddity. The strength of this logic seemed to demand that I come into agreement with it. Like that fearful and wounded inner child, everything in me wanted to run into some dark corner and hide as I had done so often in the past.

Satan is the original bully. He waits until you are at your weakest, most vulnerable moment. So many areas had been healed in me. I had been confident, sure of who I was: God’s child full of His Holy Spirit. I believed I could indeed do all things through Christ who is my strength, just as He promised. Faith in that promise was in the process of being proven in this far away and dangerous place. I thought I was spiritually prepared to protect myself from the kind of attacks I had associated with the challenges of missionary life. But the enemy of my soul knew right where and when to hit. While God had brought a lot of healing in my life over the past few years, it sure did not take much to rip open those tender wounds.

At that moment, I felt beaten and completely powerless to offer anything to God or these people. I stood there in that little crowded house surrounded by strangers singing their hearts out in worship and praise and I felt completely numb.

God, help me, I prayed in anguish desperate for a way to escape. I just wanted to be back home where it was safe, washing dishes at that boring job at the restaurant anywhere but here. The singing, like a mist, swirled around me. There was a comfort to be found in that worship, but to enter it enter in and access God’s presence seem like more effort than I was able to muster.

Finally with the smallest speck of faith, I willed my heart to be quiet and myself to deliberately surrender to God’s purposes. God, I can’t fight this alone. I won’t fight it; it’s not my battle. I didn’t ask for it. I surrender! If You want me, if You value me, please come and rescue me. With that I resigned myself to accepting the suffocating pain that now overwhelmed me. Like a loyal servant, I realized this battle was not mine to fight. This attack against me was an attack against my Master and I knew I could trust Him. I had to trust Him – to protect and restore what was being stolen from both of us.

With surrender came peace, a peace that passes understanding! I felt Jesus quietly standing at my side challenging me to raise my head, look in his eyes, and search out the truth of my real identity, the person he sees from His perspective.

Thankfully, the crowd was having a great time worshiping and did not want to stop. It gave me time to consider what had just happened. Jesus, help me,” I whispered. “I don’t think I have anything to give these people right now. I’m feeling so bad and so worthless! Packed in that hot sweaty house full of people, out in that dark jungle, Jesus stood beside me. I knew it! I felt Him! He was there, just as He promised, like the big brother He really is. In all His superhuman power and authority, He stood there with me. Then came words of encouragement and comfort.

“Wendell, let me remind you again,” words rose within me. “Your weakness and inabilities are your greatest assets in My kingdom. Trust me, will you?” I know you are physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained right now. But I am not. I am strong! Trust in My strength. Go forward in spite of how you feel. Do it by faith, in the fact of My promise, and let Me glorify My name through you.

The singing finally came to an end, and the world’s youngest evangelist was invited to speak.

 So, I did. What started out as a rambling message took on shape and form in ways I never intended. People were weeping, repenting, and finding salvation. A woman’s agonizing screams were followed by joyful laughter as demons left her body. Joy hit every one as the Holy Spirit suddenly but gently flowed through the crowd.

It was the same joy that had overwhelmed me the night I had surrendered my life to Jesus years’ earlier. His wonderful presence was overwhelming all of us at once. How quickly the spiritual attack and wounding I had experienced earlier dwarfed in comparison to the celebration of God’s presence.

Another hour passed until, one by one, exuberant and exhausted, people slipped away into the night. As the dust settled in the little house, we could faintly hear distant joyful singing echoing off the surrounding hills as different groups made their way homeward.

After a meeting like that, I was certain God would heal me of the feverish aches, the burning chest pain and the coughing. But that was not in God’s plan – at least not yet.

Next Up:

Unknown!

Some background first. Prior, in chapter 12, Wendell tells of going a days journey to the most distant Negrito head-hunting tribal village, that as far as the team knew, this was the first time outsiders had ever contacted them. Once there, the interpreter called out and voices responded, with the chief coming out, speaking briefly with the interpreter, before returning into the village.

Our team remained waiting at the edge of the jungle, poised for a hasty retreat. I was exhausted from the arduous trek, and when it appeared nothing was happening soon, I lay down on some soft grass and drifted off to sleep.

“Mr. Wendell, you preach now,” Bayani said, gently shaking me a wake. The sun had dropped below the horizon and the sky was alive in a spectacular display of color. A fire had been built in the clearing before the village. The translator was talking to the crowd and the natives were listening attentively. I made my way to stand with him, and scanned the faces of these precious people. I felt the Spirit of God rise up within me. He was here! A shiver ran through my body and tears filled my eyes as His presence began to overwhelm me. He loves them so much! Now it was my job to reveal that love to them.

And I did. On into the night I shared. I explained who God is and how He loves us. I talked of His power over evil, eternal life, and how Jesus brings God and man back together through His death and resurrection. As the fire was dying down, I ended with a challenge for them to welcome this invisible God who loves them so much into their lives. Unsure of the outcome, I left the interpreters to bring things to a close. There was an excitement among the team, but I was exhausted, so i found a quiet place where I could pray and turn what I felt were my weak and inadequate efforts over to God’s power and for His glory.

It wouldn’t be until many days later when leaving the Philippines that I would learn what really happened that night, how God’s love and grace had touched an entire village of 180 people who had opened their hearts to God. The village chief invited the team to freely return and teach his village all about this invisible God.

Personally, I’m intrigued by how Wendel honesty captures the essence of our daily struggles of obedience to our Master, amid the assaulting distractions launched by our avowed soul’s enemy, within our spirit, soul, & body, heart, mind, & will, and especially in our imaginations working overtime, as Wendell shares in this two post account. Wendell was sick several days prior this event and the bug literally followed him several weeks during the trip home to FL. Currently, Loretta & I are reading the book thru out loud to each other most mornings, ready to begin ch 17 today, titled “When God Leads.”

Ch 13 GOD’S STRENGTH IN WEAKNESS… Part One

God, I know you called me here to share the gospel of your kingdom. You did not bring me here to lie around and feel sorry for myself. Please God give me strength!”    Then, I remembered the promise, “I can do this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13 NLT)

Our trek took about one hour and we finally arrived at a small cluster of bamboo and thatch huts in a rough clearing punctuated with numerous tree stumps, piles of dead branches, and scattered garden plots of corn stalks and weeds. Another house, though small, was built of stronger wood construction, and stood in the center of the village.

Around eight that evening, several dozen people carrying flashlights and smoky lanterns emerged in small groups from the surrounding jungle and made their way to the central house. There was an air of anticipation as people wiggled into whatever space they could find. A few had Bibles and I realized that most of the people present seemed to be Christians. What a contrast this gathering was compared to some of the other meetings where I had been uncertain of leaving with my head on my shoulders.

“We are so happy to have the world’s youngest evangelist with us. He has come all the way from America to teach us the Bible!” the host teasingly announced.

As the people laugh good naturedly, I could feel my face turning red. Innocent as the introduction was, like a fiery dart, it tore into some very tender heart wounds that had only recently begun to heal. Though I was now twenty-three, I still had the youthful look of a fifteen-or sixteen-year-old.

Memories flooded back to me. As much as I had wanted to fit in with my peers during those dark days as a teenager, there had always been a paralyzing realization that I could never measure up to what was expected of me. More often than not, I had felt patronized, merely tolerated as a misfit among my peers.

Though I was significantly older than I looked, I often felt I was being treated and spoke to as if I were a child. By the first years of high school most guys were experiencing a significant physical transformation; however, I found myself trapped in a skinny little kid’s body well into my senior year.

As the years passed, I had grown in my understanding of who I was from God’s perspective, and by faith, I had taken on the identity of His much-loved child. I was comfortable, confident, and happy in God’s presence, but I still struggled among my peers. Over time and with God’s help, I had overcome the years of sarcastic comments belittling jests and frequent physical abuse from guys who had matured at a faster pace. The constant reminder that I was different, that I still had to grow up, left me with a void of any self-confidence and in a struggle to see myself through God’s eyes.

And suddenly here it was again, unanticipated, like a familiar demon from the past staring me in the face. I had been ambushed by one innocent well intended sentence, and now there was a fierce battle going on, a spiritual war, and I was a target. How could it catch me off guard like this? I thought I knew where the spiritual battles would be fought on this mission trip. I had failed to anticipate that an attack might happen in a highly protected place in my heart, a place I had thought was well-camouflaged, safe and secure. I felt like a net had been thrown over me and I was being dragged back into the same old hole that had held me captive for so many years. I was being bullied spiritually in much the same way as I had been bullied physically as a teenager. No one could have known how powerful the words of that short introduction were. Like fiery darts, they slipped through a gap in my spiritual armor and drove deeply into a most sensitive area of my heart. I felt myself being sucked back into a former battle I thought I’d overcome and put behind me. In a moment, my heart was filled with those terrible yet familiar feelings of worthlessness.

To be continued and concluded tomorrow.