Category: Book Reviews

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Part I of Chapter 12. Psychology and Faith

Author Henry Cloud “If you remember from the Preface (Jun 24 post and subsequent posts on June 25 -27) this book began as a desire to talk to my friends about God … and help them understand how I could be “one of those?” And from that initial desire, I decided to treat it like a real book and share it with a larger audience. And to write it in a way that other believers who want to share their faith with their friends could pass it on and begin their own conversations.”

Merlin now, I envision this book may be an integral component in training others to share their faith and facilitate the vibrant underground discipleship modules now being envisioned by churches, fellowships and various Christian service organizations struggling to once again attempt to integrate (or revitalize) “His message” with “their mission.” Reminds me a bit of the bottom line from the Bethany House 2015 book Mission Drift: The Unspoken Crisis Facing Leaders, Charities, & Churches by Chris Horst, Peter Greer, & George W Sarris. I’m thinking perhaps the Plain Community Business Exchange (PCBE) folk understand and practice the book’s tenants best!

Christ Followers today possess such an inexpensive availability of life-giving resources today, and to what avail? Why are we allowing ourselves to be so stifled and deceived on so many fronts, while precious countdown hours are being wasted and the planets disintegrate as the Scriptures predict?

Here is Chapter 12. Psychology and Faith. Enjoy.

I have been in the field of psychology for many decades now; including being a student, decades of clinical practice, conducting research, being a clinical director for an entire system of hospital units and treatment centers, and decades of performance and leadership consulting. Add to that continuing education through out that time to stay current with the latest research and findings in psychology and neuroscience. It has been a long journey, and it is interesting to look back at the path and see how psychology proved the Bible to be true for me. And the proving grounds did not begin with the science. Actually, surprisingly, it was the Bible that had to rescue me from the “psychology” that I was learning from the church. My first few years of faith, as a psychology graduate student and “churchgoer” and treader of many Christian “psychology” books, I learned all the models of how the two go together. I did not know enough at that time to see their deficiencies. So I accepted what they were saying. Many in the faith world saw secular psychology as being antithetical to faith, coming from a humanistic worldview having little to offer. Others integrated it somewhat, picking and choosing what they liked.

There were models that taught that clinical issues all came from sins that were in need of repentance, or not knowing enough Bible to have in your heads to order your thinking to wellness, spiritual, or supernatural experiences of emotional healing, or deliverance from demons and spiritual oppression, for example.

Certainly, there is some truth in all of those arenas. Our own “sins” can cause a lot of suffering … think of wrecked homes, for example, from bad behavior, or lives destroyed through addiction and characteristic disorders. Of course, self-destructive thinking can cause a lot of pain, as the science in cognitive therapy has proven. And for sure, the need for God to touch our broken hearts and trauma is real, and He does; there are countless testimonies of that reality, including my own. You can wonder about the existence of the supernatural and other areas if you are a materialist, but many psychologists will attest to some “wicked” stuff they have seen that they cannot explain, which certainly at least seems supernatural at the time.

But s much as I saw some truth in all of those models, as I gained more and more clinical experience, the Christian models began to fall short of both my scientific understanding of the bigger picture, as well as my clinical experience. And here was the experience that threw me into a mini crisis of faith: what I was learning to be true clinically, and scientifically, was not what many of the “Christian “ models proposed.

Mostly because I saw them fall short … people were not getting well a lot of times when they had much treatment in those models of the “Christian way” of treating mental health issues. And all of these were touted as the “biblical” way, even though much within those models disagreed with each other. I chuckle at how many people call their system of change to be “God’s“ way, while disagreeing with the other “God’s “ way. Makes God look confused as to what His way is, it seems to me.

And, past that … here is what really threw me: I was learning that there were real clinical modalities and interventions and approaches to therapy that worked. I was seeing eating disorders healed, depression healed, anxiety states overcome, thought disorders “cured” trauma healed, and the like. I was falling in love with my field as I saw the fruits of clinical practice. I loved my clinical work. But in falling in love with all that, I felt as if I was an adulterer … my new love seemingly was not the love I was supposed to have with my faith and the Bible. It was a spiritual crisis almost as severe as my first one of “where is God?” I saw people getting well … but where was the faith as I understood it in all of this? I was beginning to feel like two people : one who believed in my Christian faith, and one who believed in the truth that I was seeing before me that seemed to be in conflict with my Christian faith. Did I have to be a “science denier”? It felt like it. I was still using prayer and the Bible and knew that helped, but not in the ways that some of the systems of “Christian” counseling was espousing.

NEXT UP:

So, I decided to resolve this dilemma no matter what it took! Part II Thursday morning, early!

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Do Not Sign It!!

Taken verbatim from Heny Clouds 2024 book “Why I Believe” Part II How I came to Believe in Miracles: Do Not Sign It, pages 117-122, 1589 words, plan accordingly.

Many of you readers will identify with the segment below because regardless of your chosen career field and years of service, even the challenging relationships and leadership skills you’ve accessed, (or even now are!)  we too have witnessed these entrepreneurial or managerial moments when we were divinely “carried, lifted, guided, empowered” expanding our efforts exponentially… merlin

Dr. Cloud:

It was at a point in my publishing career where things had taken off, and it was “free agent” time. Like in sports, when you are not tied down to a team anymore, you are free to sign with anyone. In publishing, after finishing a contract, it can be a fun and exciting time as well. All the publishers are coming around and wanting to do the next book or books, and it is a fun time to get together with them and think about next projects.

All of the season of meetings were over, and we had finally reached an agreement, and a good one for several reasons. It was for several books and would give me a clear path for about five years. I liked having the direction set so I could just get to work on writing. We had finalized the negotiation and would be signing in a few days.

I was at home after dinner talking with Tori, and my phone rang. It was a woman with whom I served on a board with and only saw a couple of times a year. I knew her, but not that well, and she certainly was not current on anything I was up to or working on. She knew nothing about my work with publishers.

“Hey, Shelly. How are you?” I asked.

“I’m good,” she said. “But I had a vision about you.”

“What?” I asked. “Really? Tell me.” This was not a normal occurrence for me. I was pretty new to the world of people having visions at that time.

“Well, it was very clear. I saw you in a yard, and you were talking to people in the yard, and there was a fence around all of you. Like a fenced in yard. And then the Lord said this: ‘You have been speaking to people in the yard, and he wants to remove the fence so you can speak to people outside the yard.’ And he says that you are about to sign some contract … I think it is about a book project or something … and he says if you sign it, it will keep you in that yard. So don’t sign it.”

Oh my … I was so certain things were going so well and my immediate future had so much clarity. And now this …

“So, Shelly … Are you sure? … This is from Him?” I always tend to ask that when I get people who have “messages from God.” There are a lot of kooks out there, and I rarely believe them. But this one … this had too much credibility in both the message and the messenger. It was so specific … and I knew exactly what it meant, too.

The deal was with a Christian publisher. And no matter what the title or subject of a book, if the publisher is Christian, retailers often will tend to bury it in the religious section of the bookstores (which actually existed at the time, before Amazon and online book buying). And the marketing would be mostly to the Christian world … and what that meant was clear in the vision: the people in the yard. God was telling me that He wanted me to talk to people outside the Christian world, outside the yard, and He was going to move the fence. How in the world would she ever know that I was (a) about to sign a book deal, and (b) one that would keep me talking to a certain closed group?

Another reason I also knew that this was real was that for about 18 months, when I would out on my patio to pray, I would hear a voice in my head say, I am taking you out the ministry. That is all it said, and it was clear. But I did not know what all that meant, other than for me, it did mean something very specific.” I was supposed to begin working outside the “Christian” world of audiences that I was speaking and writing too. To me, at that point, “ministry “meant Christian audiences, which back then, was most of what I did. And what I would discover soon was the message from that voice also meant much more about my publishing, leadership consulting work, business speaking, and media.

“Yes, I am sure,” she said. “It was from God. It was clear.”

I hung up bummed. Everything had looked so good, and now I knew I had to walk away from so much that was secure. But, as I learned way back in leaving Dallas, when God says “Go,” you do it, and you leave security behind. He will provide the next place to land. So, I walked away from the deal.

I won’t bore you with the details, but the publisher was dumbfounded and could not believe we were not going through with it. It made no sense … unless you were on that phone call. And then, it was confirmed.

Soon thereafter, Time Life called with an offer to do a book with a national secular media campaign they were doing with a music offering that would take the message way, way past the Christian audience I had been speaking to up to that point. So, John Townsend and I wrote a book for them called God Will Make a Way, and the beginning of talking to people outside the yard had begun. Now that “fence” was beginning to be removed.

But there was much more to come. And this was the real fulfillment of the next stage of the vision. Now that I was free to publish “outside-the-yard,” God (through some other God-directed clear steps, some “random” circumstances), put me with an outside-the-yard publishing agent who wanted to do my first secular business book and take it to a New York publisher, which would full-blown be outside the yard. And I would be writing to businesses without the Christian language in the book, which would mean that they could now use the principles in their public companies and secular businesses. I had always worked in the secular business world, doing leadership consulting, but all my books up to that point had Christian content in them, and most companies didn’t want to offend people with that and would not use my books. This step was fulfilling the voice I heard on my patio about God taking me outside the Christian world, as well as the vision about talking to people “outside the yard.” It was all coming true, exactly like both the voice and the vision had said.

We went to New York, signed a deal, and published a leadership book that showed the principles that I had been using with leaders that I had been using for a long time but had no Bible verses in it to scare people off. Cleanly outside the yard. (It is weird … if you say “It is good to be honest” in a book, people love it and think you’re smart. But if you say “The Bible says it good to be honest,” you get cancelled, and they think you are “one of those” religious kooks. So, I didn’t use any Bible verses in the book at all; I just shared the business leadership principles that I use in the companies I work with. And at various times, they would lead to some great conversations about why I believe.

Well, things happened, as the vision had said. The New York Times reviewed the book (it was called Integrity) and called it “the best book

of the bunch” in the leadership books they were reviewing. That turned it into the launch of a new direction for my writing and a new audience … the secular business world. Although I have done CEO coaching and leadership consulting for twenty years at that point with many secular and public companies and had built and run my businesses, my brand in publishing had always been pigeonholed in the Christian yard. God took me out of that for His reasons and supernaturally directed me to do it through the vision and the “voice” I heard. Had he not, I would still be “in the yard,” and I would have missed so many great opportunities to meet and work with so many people who don’t hang out in that yard, for purposes that were His.

He does guide us … even when we think we know what we want and need to do. He closes some doors that we desperately desire, for other reasons we might not understand. Just like I thought I wanted to follow my golf dreams or continue down my publishing track as it has been unfolding, God wanted something different and better. Again, the proverb rang true:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs3:5-6)

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Drawing on the Grace of God NOW!

Utmost for His Highest June 26

II Corinthians 6: 1

KJV: We then, as workers together with Him, beseech you also that ye receive not the grace of God in vain.

The Message Version: Companions as we are in this work with you, we beg you, please don’t squander one bit of this marvelous life of grace God has given us.

Understand now that the grace you had yesterday will not be sufficient for today. Grace is the overflowing favor of God, and you can always count on it being available to draw upon as needed. “…in much patience, in tribulations, in needs, in distresses”— that is where our patience is tested (II Corinthians 6:4).

Are you failing to rely on the grace of God there? Are you saying to yourself, “Oh well, I won’t count this time”? It is not a question of praying and asking God to help you— it is taking the grace of God now. We tend to make prayer the preparation for our service, yet it is never that in the Bible. Prayer is the practice of drawing on the grace of God. Don’t say, “I will endure this until I can get away and pray.” Pray now — draw on the grace of God in your moment of need. Prayer is the most normal and useful thing; it is not simply a reflex action of your devotion to God. We are very slow to learn to draw on God’s grace through prayer.

“…in stripes, in imprisonments, in tumults, in labors…” (2 Corinthians 6:5)— in all these things, display in your life a drawing on the grace of God, which will show evidence to yourself and to others that you are a miracle of His. Draw on His grace now, not later. The primary word in the spiritual vocabulary is now. Let circumstances take you where they will, but keep drawing on the grace of God in whatever condition you may find yourself.

One of the greatest proofs that you are drawing on the grace of God is that you can be totally humiliated before others without displaying even the slightest trace of anything but His grace.

BOTTOM LINE:

“…having nothing….” Never hold anything in reserve. Pour yourself out, giving the best that you have, and always be poor. Never be diplomatic and careful with the treasure God gives you. “…and yet possessing all things”— this is poverty triumphant (II Corinthians 6:10).

NEXT UP:

After extensively exploring grace in recent posts, this week looking forward, I’ve decided to use the next week plus to conclude Cloud’s book “Why I Believe.” My five loaner copies arrived yesterday, so if I wet your appetite to read it, first come-first served, to borrow a copy for a week before you buy, or not. This week I will present verbatim (no comments from me) from his last chapter, Psychology and Faith, therein containing Biblical wisdom for Christ-Followers if need be, to be retooled in order to thrive here forward. Indeed, purposeful reading!

I do realize a few of you may be tempted to pass or check out on this “endurance run (we will do it in short 5 minute segments), but Loretta & I have been so blessed by listening to this Psychology and Faith chapter repeatedly, I’d be remiss not to get you to reconsider and commit. In fact, I’m pretty sure your first read will insure you’ll buy the book. At, least that’s what I will tell the Worthy Publishing lawyers when & if they ever come calling….

So, as I see it, perhaps I’ll just be Worthy’s first blog post freebee book sales promoter! It’s simply my mission at this moment of my life that I or, actually anyone could do. As I prayerfully envision this, everyone involved or impacted will hopefully be blessed and elevated spiritually, while Worthy sells more wisdom books. FYI, page 117 – 121 titled “Do not sign it” details Cloud’s choosing to remain a free agent, a story you really need to hear before chapter 12.





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Something ‘Eatin at ‘Ya Since Your Last Sunday Feast?

Do not fret – it only causes harm. Psalm 37:8

The word “fret” comes from an eleventh-century Old English term meaning “to devour.”It was used of monsters and Vikings, and of animals that ate people, as you can see by looking closely at the word”fret.” The first two letters – “fr” – are similar to the word “for” or “for the purpose of.” And the last two letters are “et.” Think “eat.” The word “fret,” then, described the fear of being eaten by an animal. In biblical days, people worried about encountering a lion or a bear as they traveled. They fretted about it.

Nowadays we use this word to describe a worry that is eating us up on the inside. Here’s what the Bible says about it: “Do not fret … Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him; do not fret … Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret … Do not fret because of evildoers” (Psalm 37:1, 7, 8 and Proverbs 24:19).

BOTTOM LINE:

Worry is a hard emotion to control, but you’ll find strength in remembering these seven words of Scripture: Don’t fret – it only causes harm.

David Jeremiah Destinations 2013 June 30

PS: This post was entirely not expected or planned as I have recently largely refrained from Sunday posts. However, early this morning when I read the above post, I was compelled to prepare it. Hours later at the pre-service prayer time, a dear saintly prayer warrior expressed concern that the author of yesterday’s post and a former pastor is indeed, breaking our hearts, again, as did Ravi Z, and numerous others over the years.

Again, I’m reminded the sermon this very morning heavily emphasized Satan is pulling out all the stops to create confusion and chaos in Christ’s Kingdom. The author of yesterday’s post, serves as yet another example of our Godly spiritual vulnerability, whether in church leadership or not, and our utmost need is to be authentically sharing in a “caring cultivating anchored community,” such as Marlin Miller speaks of in Plain Values.

I find it interesting now though, looking back over the decades, that too many of these leadership persons, such as Tullian T, Robert M, Ravi Z, etc. that initially connected and inspired my spiritual growth, are now “fallen from grace,” and honestly, that is a matter of concern to me. Am I spiritually gullible and lacking in discernment? Perhaps that is why now my first scriptures each morning are from dailylightdevotional.org, because it is so pure and simple without any detracting narrative! I do believe the greatest compliment a MM blog reader could give me is that they are now literally addicted to reading dailylightdevotional.org and extensive prayer every morning when they rise before tackling anything else. Thanks for your time!

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My father spoke grace to me in a moment when I knew I deserved wrath … and I came alive.”

My friend Dr. Rod Rosenbladt told me a story of how he’d wrecked his car when he was sixteen years old after he and his friends had been drinking.

Following the accident, Rod called his dad, and the first thing his dad asked him was, “Are you all right?” Rod said yes. Then he confessed to his dad that he was drunk. Rod was naturally terrified about how his father might respond. Later that night after Rod had made it home, he wept and wept in his father’s study. He was embarrassed, ashamed. At the end of the ordeal, his father asked him this question: “How about tomorrow we go and get you a new car?”

Rod says that he became a Christian in that moment. God’s grace became real to him in that moment of forgiveness and mercy. Now nearly seventy, Rod has since spent his life as a spokesman for the theology of grace. Rod’s father’s grace didn’t turn Rod into a drunk – it made him love his father and the Lord he served.

Now let me ask you: What would you like to say to Rod’s dad? Rod says that every time he tells that story in public, there are always people in the audience who get angry. They say, “Your dad let you get away with that? He didn’t punish you at all? What a great opportunity for your dad to teach you responsibility!” Having this sense of the law is universal. The apostle Paul claims it is written on each person’s hearts. Even those who don’t believe in God struggle with self-recrimination and self-hatred as much as believers. Some of us even compound our sense of guilt by heaping judgement upon judgement, intoxicated by the voice of “not-enoughness” until we have effectively usurped the role of the only One who is actually qualified to pass a sentence.

Rod always chuckles when he hears that response and says, “Don’t you think it wasn’t the most painful moment of my whole life up to that point? I was ashamed; I was scared. My father spoke grace to me in a moment when I knew I deserved wrath … and I came alive.”

Isn’t that the nature of grace? We know that we deserve punishment and then, when we receive mercy instead, we discover grace. Romans 5: 8 reads “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” God gives forgiveness and inputes righteousness to us even though we are sinful and while we were His enemies (v. 6, 8, 10).

BOTTOM LINE:

Our offenses are infinitely greater than a sixteen-year-old getting drunk and wrecking his car, yet God’s grace is greater still. The grace of God always prevails. When we finally come to the end of ourselves, there it will be. There He will be. Just as He will be the next time we come to the end of ourselves, and the time after that, and … until we meet in glory, safe at home…

NEXT UP:

We tend to make prayer the preparation for our service, yet it is never that in the Bible. Prayer is the practice of drawing on the grace of God NOW!

Drawing on the Grace of God — NOW! June 26 Utmost for His Highest. Updated version

PS:

Added 7:20 AM from dailylightdevotional.org June 29

Evening

Remember not the sins of my youth, nor my transgressions. Psa. 25:7

I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins. Isa. 44:22

I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins. Isa. 43:25

Come now, and let us reason together, saith the LORD: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. Isa. 1:18

I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more. Jer. 31:34

Thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea. Micah 7:19

Thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption: for thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back. Isa. 38:17

Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity? … he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy. Micah 7:18

Unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood, … to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen. Rev. 1:5

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Today, we North American Christians have a remarkable tendency to focus exclusively on the Behavioral FRUIT of our problems; whereas Christ addressed the ROOT Cause of our problems …

Mark 7: 14-15, 20-23

“Jesus called the crowd together again and said’ “Listen now, all of you – take this to heart. It’s not what you swallow that pollutes life; it’s what you vomit – that’s the real pollution.”

He went on: “It’s what comes out of a person that pollutes: obscenities, lusts, thefts, murders, adulteries, greed, depravity, deceptive dealings, carousing, mean looks, slander, arrogance, foolishness, and at this very moment in history while witnessing the world’s culmination of hatred toward the Jews, our distinct inability and confusion to demonstrate sacrificially Christ’s love to all of our enemies, including all of His children, (everyone made in His image) regardless of race or origin – for all these diverse and evil consuming behaviors, are vomited from the heart. This is the source of your pollution!” (Crude perhaps… but double dead on!)

            So, why is it we North American Christians have such a remarkable tendency to focus exclusively on the behavioral “fruit” of our problems; whereas Christ addressed the “root cause” of our problems?

Does this focus on “fruit” rather than “roots” remind you of our addictive symptom driven prescription American healthcare system today?  Is this “behavioral fruit vs. root causes” driving us as parents asunder with our children; or pastors with our parishioners, or husbands with wives, and wives with husbands? And yes indeed, we even do this with ourselves in the darker corners of our consciousness…

            Notice though, how the gospel on the other hand, addresses the root of our problems. And these roots are not merely bad behavior! Bad behavior is merely the symptom, like a fever, of a hidden much deeper root cause, such as an infection. Our chief problem, as Jesus made exponentially clear, is not “what goes into a man,” but rather its hardened, wooden, defiled, perhaps even necrotic, heart. Indeed, the causal root!

Consider how Christian growth absolutely consists not of behavior modification but of the daily realization that in Christ we have died and in Christ we have been raised. Daily reformation, therefore, is the fruit of daily resurrection (Romans 6:1-11). To get it the other way around (which we tend to do by default; ignorance is not bliss!) is to miss the power and point of the gospel. In his book God in the Dock, C. S. Lewis makes the obvious point that “you can’t get second things by putting them first; you can get second things only by putting first things first.” Behavior (good or bad) is a second thing.

            “Life is a web of trials and temptations,” said Robert Capon, Episcopal priest and author, “but only one of them can ever be fatal, and that is the temptation to think it is by further, better, and more aggressive living that we can have life.” The truth is, you can’t live your way to life – you can only die [your] way there, and lose [your] way there … For Jesus came to raise the dead. He did not come to reward the re-wardable, improve the improvable, or correct the correctable; he came simply to be the resurrection and the life for those who will take their stand on a death He can use instead of on a life He cannot.”

BOTTOM LINE:

Moral renovation, in other words, is to refocus our eyes away from ourselves:

to that man’s obedience,

to that man’s cross,

to that man’s blood,

to that man’s death and resurrection,

by daily accepting to love the glorious exchange (our sin for His Righteousness),

to lean on its finished – ness,

and to live under its banner.

That is His plan for us to be morally reformed.

Now, consider the Fruits of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23 as the living proof of His transformation and empowerment in your life as well as the lives of others. Remember the famous nine: Love Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-control.

PS: The main characteristic which is the proof of th indwelling Spirit is an amazing tenderness in personal dealing, and a blazing truthfulness with regard to God’s Word. Oswald Chambers from Disciples Indeed 386 R

Inspired, modified, & expanded from Tuillian Tchividjian’s devotional book IT IS FINISHED: 365 Days of Good News, 2015 June 20

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A Freeing Word from a Pastor While at the Gym….

It was a horrible day, one that directed and limited my life for many years after, and was the source of a lot of pain.

            I was in the 7th or 8th grade, and it was the day for oral book reports. I usually like that day, as I enjoyed hearing everyone and also sharing in front of the group myself. I liked public speaking. So, nothing new.

            But for some reason, this time, about a third of the way into it, I got flustered. I began stammering and stuttering, and it only got worse. I could not recover for some reason, and found it hard to go on. I just got further and further kind of unable to get the words out. Kinda paralyzed in front of the room.

            Then the teacher stood up and said, “Just sit down. This is terrible,” or something pretty close to that. She then went on to kind of berate me with things like “You will never be able to be a success in anything if you can’t do public speaking. And you can just forget ever being a lawyer [one of my possible career dreams at that time], because lawyers have to talk in front of people.”

            Needless to say, I was devastated. Ashamed and rejected, I just slithered to my seat and tried to disappear.

            From there, it went downhill as far as public speaking was concerned. I had no trouble with a few friends, like at a table or a few friends.. But any time the group got to be any size at all, I just literally could not speak. Not “wouldn’t,” but “couldn’t.” So, I didn’t.

            I went all through high school and college avoiding any kind of public speaking at all. I would always refuse it. Even asking questions in class became a real difficult thing to do and to hide my problem, I rarely even did that. In high school, my parents sent me to a counselor to cure the problem, but it did not help. And to make sure you understand, it was not just a fear. It was “I literally can’t do it.” Period. I couldn’t talk. In fact, it was so bad that I almost flunked 12th grade English, because there was an oral book report requirement and I was ready to tell the teacher “Well, flunk me.” And I had been recruited to play college golf … ready to lose it all because my inability to go through with it. In graduate school, I pretty much continued to avoid any public speaking, other than in class for a question or a small discussion.

So, roll the clock forward to my mid to later twenties, I had been in practice for a few years and was building a lot of models of psychological and leadership growth and working with companies and organizations. As a result of all that activity, I was continually being asked to speak for the organizations, businesses, churches, and the like. And … I always refused. One hundred percent.

            When asked, I would just say, “No, that’s just not something I do.” And let it go. No way was I ever going to stand up in front of a group again. I went about my private clinical and consulting practice, and that was enough for me. Small meetings around a table were okay, but nothing larger.

            Then one day, I was at the gym and headed to the showers when this big  guy walked up to me. He was huge. (Actually, he had played NFL football for the LA Rams.) I was wondering what he wanted when he looked at me and asked, “Are you a Christian?”

            That seemed weird …a big guy in the gym showers walking up to me asking if I am a Christian.

            “Uh … yeah.” I answered.

            “Well, God just told me to tell you something,“ he said.

            My first thought was “Well, I am also a psychologist, and I can make those voices go away.” But I didn’t say that.” I just replied, “What?”

            “Yes, that’s right. Don’t worry, I am not a weirdo. I am a pastor. And God just clearly spoke to me about you,” he explained. He told me then he was pastor at the Newport Vineyard Church, a good place that I was familiar with. So I agreed to talk to him.

            We went next door to a restaurant and sat down, and this is what he said: “God said when you were a kid, something bad happened to you that has made you afraid to speak in front of people ever since. But He wants you to begin speaking for Him, and He is going to open some doors. You are to walk through them.”

            I was stunned. How in the ….? What? That was all I could muster. We talked some more before I left there and returned to my office. I just sat there literally in shock, amazed at how real and present God is all the time. And once again, how long I had suffered with that problem … and yet He had been there all along. Aware, loving me, but doing nothing about it.

            Until now.

            In high school, when I was struggling with it, I prayed a lot for God to help me, and He never did. But now, it seemed like He was stepping up. There was no way I could deny what just happened. That guy did not know me from Adam, nor what I did, nor anything about my problem or where it had come from.

            The next week or so, I got two calls to speak to public groups. (“He is going to open some doors for you to speak and you are to walk through them.”) The first one was a Presbyterian pastor gathering with about fifty pastors. That would have been far more than I would have formerly agreed to and been able to do. But this time, I literally felt like I had no choice. Zero chance that I was not going to do it, no matter how scared I was. God had entered my space and told me to do it … and I could not run and hide. I was afraid I’d get swallowed by a whale if I did. I was way more afraid of how real and alive He was than whatever could happen if I melted down while speaking.

            So, I asked a good friend of mine who prays for me, and also is a speech therapist, to come with me for support. She sat on the front row, and I stumbled my way through it. Barely. I don’t remember if they even liked it or not, but at least I’d gotten through the first test without passing out.

            From there on, it was more and more practice as more “doors” began to mysteriously appear, out of nowhere. I was petrified each and every time, but gradually, I got more and more comfortable. It took about a year or so to feel more comfortable. Then, I was offered a radio show and was suddenly talking to a lot of people. Before then, there would have been no way.

            That was decades ago … since then I have spoken thousands of times. And now, I actually enjoy it, and though I sometimes get a little helpful dose of “butterflies” before going up, I do not have any fear of going up. God has healed that, this time through showing up through a pastor in a gym shower and telling me to do it, so then a natural process psychologists call “desensitization” and “exposure” prevails. It is the gradual facing into what you fear, that the brain slowly learns the 7th grade teacher is no longer there.

            In fact, as I write this, I just came back from speaking at a global leadership event that had hundreds of thousands of live attendees in arenas and auditoriums all over the world. And it was actually fun. As a psychologist, I believe the slow healing came through natural processes.

BOTTOM LINE:

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that the impetus to get me into that process was supernatural. How else can you explain it? Who can begin to know where and how He is going to speak in your life, or anyone’s life? Are we not to pray openly, candidly, continually, submitting…

NEXT UP:

Tomorrow after tonight’s potential debating debacle, Billie Graham’s grandson will reappear with his well chosen words inspired by Mark Chapter Seven. Time for a break from the intensity of the Cloud! Loretta and I are at page 144 of 257 in Dr. Henry Cloud’s audible book “Why I Believe,” a book packed with such relevant impactful life stories confirming the wisdom he shares to guide and inspire our daily faith journey’s. Change your life and the lives of those in your pond’s ripples (circle of influence) by ordering several “Why I Believe” and loan them out. Less than $20 each at Amazon. I guarantee you’ll have your “loan to” list well started before you’ve read even half of the book.

Nearly every day I come across ideas and scriptures that are added to my file of dozens of ideas waiting in the wings for His anointing and development, such as the above! Blessings on your journey home. Read the signs. Listen to the compelling sounds! Stay the course. No excuses!

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“I always say that God has a marketing issue …” Henry Cloud

The Bible depicts a life that can seem contradictory, and confusing. Yet one of the things that helps me know the Bible is true is that it talks about life the way it really is. It depicts life exactly as we see it. First it says that God will be with us, bless us in various ways, protect us, lead us, and guide us. I have shared a lot about the truth of that as I have experienced it. And at the same time, on the same pages, it says that horrible things might happen to us as well. Death, loss, disease, betrayal, poverty – these are all horrible things that it says He allows. It is such a contradictory message. But it is exactly true to the life we see, even after we begin to follow Him. There is good and bad, both in the Bible and in real life.

I always say that God has a marketing issue. Brands always try to paint a totally positive picture of what they are selling. “Come with us and you will lose two hundred pounds. You will get rich. You will look like this … People will fall in love with you. You can break par after five swings … etc.” You never hear marketers talk about the downside except when the FDA makes drug companies list all of the possible side effects in a commercial. Everywhere else, it is usually all positive. (By the way, shouldn’t the doctors do that instead of a commercial?)

And in God’s marketing, He does promise us a lot of good stuff … Jesus said to follow Him in order to have an “abundant” life. I like that. He promises to “bless” us, whatever that may mean in various contexts. But He also promised us suffering in life, and even extra suffering if we follow Him. Not only from others, but from the suffering of self-denial, having to give up some selfish and unloving patterns and the like. Suffering sometimes when we “love our enemies.” Not exactly a great marketing approach: “Buy this product, and you will get to carry your cross daily! Buy a life with Me and it will cost you big time.” Yet, He does tell us the truth. Most products say if you use it well, you will live a long life and be happy and successful. But the only one who ever did it perfectly in God’s story-line got crucified. And so did many of His followers. Not what they teach you in marketing school to be honest about those kinds of outcomes if you buy their product. But that is what He does. He tells it like it is. That helps me have confidence in the Bible …it does not try to make it look all rosy. It mirrors real life as we find it. God is not afraid of reality.

As I was remembering some of the examples I wanted to share with you where God showed up and did miracles for me, so many stories came to mind that served as examples of the promises of God’s abundant life, plus the pain that goes with it, and then the goodness of God showing up in the trouble. But that is what makes suffering with God different than suffering without Him – when we suffer with Him, we do not suffer alone, and as I have shared, He is with us, and because of that, the suffering is very different.

As the Bible says about going through losses of loved ones, when we know Him, we “do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him” (I Thessalonians 4: 13-14). In other words, we know that death is not the end of our relationships or even our own lives. We can be back together with loved ones again. So, even suffering through loosing people we love has a different flavor to it when we have a relationship with Him.

So, in sharing a few more experiences of “God showing up” in my life, I hope you enjoy these anecdotes that show only a handful of the many interventions into life that I have seen God perform. These experiences have help build my faith and I hope they do that for you as well.

BOTTOM LINE:

The following stories reveal a very important reason why I believe. Throughout my journey of faith, I have found out something important: God does things. In pain and suffering, and in times of “normal life.” Some of them are dramatic, and some less so. But in each one, I was able to clearly know it was Him who was showing up. As they say sometimes, “you can’t make this stuff up.”

NEXT TIME:

Dr. Cloud’s fear of public speaking and it’s resolve…

PS. I’d be remiss if I didn’t encourage you to read yesterday’s Utmost June 25 reading about Receiving Yourself in the Fires of Sorrow, closely linked to Dr. Clouds heart for this book. Click the link below

Receiving Yourself in the Fires of Sorrow
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What gives our lives meaning and allows us to rise above the pain and disappointment to live with purpose, compassion, security, and love?

World-renowned psychologist and leadership expert Henry Cloud has impacted millions of lives through his groundbreaking books and his work coaching leaders of the most influential organizations in the world. But few people know the details of his own story and how he become one of the most beloved and respected psychologists and faith influencers in America.

In this indelibly personal and vulnerable book, Dr. Cloud leads us through his early struggles with illness and depression and the miracles that healed him and led him to his calling as a healer of others. Through masterful storytelling combined with a deeply nuanced understanding of the human mind, Dr. Cloud invites readers to inhabit the spaces of suffering and elation that make us most human and to walk alongside of him as he ponders the great questions we are so often afraid to ask, but which give our lives fulfilling meaning.  

Introduction

One night, as a ten-year-old at camp in North Carolina, I felt a pain and stirring in my soul that has never gone away. The night had been a regular camp night … with counselors and cabin mates at the big bonfire … doing camp-like things. One of them I do remember being a bit unusual … we ate a rattlesnake that some crazy counselor had killed, but other than that, just normal stuff, along with some kind of “devotional” time. It was a “lightly” Christian camp, but not an in-your-face overbearing type of religious camp. Mainly it was a sports and wildlife experience for four weeks of fun and some attempt by the counselors at spiritual and character development of who knows what kinds of kids had been sent there by parents wanting either a break or a better version of their kid. My parents probably hoped for both.

That week had been one of a difficult-to-explain heightening of my love for God. I had always had a strong consciousness of God from early childhood … I somehow knew He was there. He showed Himself to me ways I couldn’t really explain … I just knew when I felt His presence and that it was real. But this particular camp experience that week led me to a little mountainside chapel as I was out for a hike, where I had an experience that I remember as if it were yesterday. I was tromping around in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina and suddenly felt drawn into that little building. As I sat there in silence, I was overcome with a movement in my heart. I felt Him drawing me to Him … it was kind of overwhelming, in a good way. The love was so strong that I felt for Him. As I sat there, I told Him that I would do whatever He wanted me to do with my life. I had been moved by an Invisible Force that I knew was real and loving. I was sure of that.

Which brought me to that night … I had it before, the “gospel” message that was conveyed, that God loved all of us and Jesus had died to pay the penalty for everything we had ever done wrong, securing forgiveness for any of us for all time. I had believed it before as a child but probably didn’t understand it as well as I did that night. For some reason, this time it pierced more deeply.

I don’t remember all of the details of the message, but I vividly remember the gist. The counselor said that the gospel was a simple message that was like this: Think of if you committed a crime, and went to court, and were found guilty by the judge. You are standing in front of the bench, and he pronounces the verdict: guilty as charged. And then he pronounces the penalty, the fine. You know that you cannot pay it or endure it, but it stands as true and real. You are guilty and you are convicted. You must pay the fine. And you also realize that you cannot afford the price.

Then right at that moment, the judge says, “I will come down from the bench and stand in your place and pay the fine for you if you want me to. You may go free if you accept my offer.” The counselor then said, “That is what Jesus did for us. He paid our fine, and if we accept His payment, his death on the cross for us, we can go free and be pronounced ‘not guilty.”’ We can be forever forgiven by God for everything we have ever done, or ever will do. It has been paid for, if we accept it.

Somehow the simplicity of that moved me in a different way than it ever before. I realized that the love that I had felt from God was from a loving Father, not mad at me for being “bad,” and not ready to zap me for any mistake. It came together in a much deeper way.

So, with all that good news, why the pain that night?

I felt the pain of knowing that my best friend did not know God … did not know that there was Someone who loved him this much and that he would have a relationship with … and I wanted him to know it, too. But I felt squeamish about how to tell him. After all, we were more concerned with being cool and tough and winning games and trophies than being one of those weird religious types. So, I had never talked to him about it. And that night, I cried with my counselor in front of the fireplace back in at the lodge. I needed to know how to get out of this dilemma … the dilemma of carrying around such an incredible Reality that I knew he would want to know, and at the same time being too afraid to talk about it.

Well, since that time, a lot has happened. A lot. And I have seen way, way more of how real God is, and what He can do. And this book is my attempt to put my journey with God into words … for one purpose: I want my friends to know that God is real. And although I have discussed God with many of my friends since that time, I want to write it all down for them and others I have not talked to, in one place: “You might think I’m crazy, but this is why I believe, and why I want you to have a relationship with Him, too.” And before you read on, I can pretty much guarantee that you will find some of it to sound very crazy. But it is all true.

There are a lot of obstacles to faith. I had them myself after I decided to get more serious about my faith later in life, so I it is easy to for me to understand when others have those questions. I had to struggle with finding answers that satisfied me, because I could not be a believer and put my brain in a lockbox in order to do that. So, the first purpose of this book is to share with you my story of God’s reality in my life, and the second is to share how those hard questions were resolved in my own soul and brain. I want to share the answers I found that put it all to rest.

Life has so many dilemmas that make it so hard to believe in a good God at times, and the people who sell the God message can sometimes be so weird and crazy and obnoxious that we just feel like “If this faith were true, then all of that crap would not exist that surrounds it, and Christians would not be so undesirable and such a turn-off.” As I used to think when I was kid, “I like God; I just don’t like His friends.”

Of course, not all Christians are “that kind.” So, many are awesome people who do truly incredible things. They give of their time, talents, and resources to make the world a much better place, alleviating poverty, suffering, and much more. And they are people of stellar character. I know this to be true over and over, all around the world. But as I talk to people who do not share my faith, the experiences that they have had with some believers are often a big part of the obstacle to God. But the fascinating thing I have found is this: the religious people that you and I both struggle with and can’t stand are the same ones Jesus didn’t get along with, either. I will show you what He actually says about certain types of judgmental, narrow-minded, narcissistic, and controlling religious types. I will hopefully help you discover something I learned …that “they” are not what He or the faith is about at all, and those people often do exactly the opposite of what He told us to do, even doing those things “in His name.”

More about that later.

So, come along with me as I share my experience, my questions, and the answers that I have found that have satisfied my doubts. One disclaimer: I do not mean that my answers are even the best ones out there; they are only my heartfelt attempt to tell my own story about how they got answered for me. They come from many areas of science, and other fields, and as I studied those disciplines, I discovered something. There are brilliant people on both sides of faith and non-faith, and it told me that intelligence, IQ, science, philosophy or any other discipline is not standing in the way of whether or not someone believes. But for someone who does believe, the science supports faith, and as I will share with you, many of the most brilliant physicists, biologists, astronomers, and others who attest to that.

So, let’s hop in. First my journey to faith and its experiences, and then how some tough questions got answered.

NEXT UP:

Not at all sure. Loretta gave me this book for Father’s Day and we in a few minutes will begin chapter six on Audible as we walk our dogs on the exquisite Gerber Homestead Trail 1.25 mile twice daily trek. Both the trail and the book are an absolute delight. We are blessed!

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I have an issue … and this book is my attempt to solve it.

 Written by Dr. Henry Cloud in the first line of the preface to his new book “Why I Believe: A Psychologist’s Thoughts on Suffering, Miracles, Science, and Faith.”

The following 761 words are the above preface. I’m offering them to you for your reflection and consideration in your life this week. You may experience no engagement and totally dismiss these words, or perhaps, they may cause you to identify, contemplate, even create new neural pathways you’ve not considered prior. More coming …. Enjoy

I have an issue … and this book is my attempt to solve it.

I have had this issue since I was about ten years old … and although it is better, it is still unresolved in my heart with so many of you … my friends. I won’t name you by name here, but maybe you will find yourself in these pages. And for those who read this book whom I don’t know, if you fit the description of how I describe my friends, then come along for the ride. We would probably be friends anyway. But, enough about you for a moment … I want to talk about me and my problem.

            Here it is in a nutshell: I love God, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that He is real. He has proven that to me for decades. That is not my problem.   

            My problem is that I love my friends, and many of them do not know God, at least in any way that they have told me about. So the problem is this: I want them to know Him and know that He is real. I want them to have a relationship with Him and know how incredible that is.

            So why is that a problem? Simple … I often do not know how to tell them.

            “Wait …” you might say. “You have told millions of people about God in talks and books and media, so how is it that you don’t even know how to tell your own friends about Him?”

            Here is the simple answer … the audiences sign up to hear what I think about God. My friends don’t.

            They sign up just to be my friend. And I love that. That is why I signed up with them as well. They rock … my friends are the coolest people in the world. They are smart, funny, talented … many of them do amazing things in some field of endeavor, in their families, or some other way. Others don’t set any records at all … they are just normal folks, and awesome as people. But all of them have one thing in common: they have the greatest hearts. They are honest, caring, and real. I love hanging out with them. And for some strange reason, they like to hang out with me as well.

            Which brings me to the point. When we do hang out together, they did not come to talk about God. They just came to be together … to play golf, have dinner, talk about life. And so, my problem is that I don’t want to bug them or make them uncomfortable by telling them What I want them to know about God. And I especially don’t want to make them feel so weird that they would not want to hang out anymore … thinking I’m trying to “convert them,” as one of my good friends said one time. (We laugh about it now … but at a party one time, he told a group that when he met me twenty years ago, he googled me and all this “faith” stuff came up along with me being an author and psychologist.  He thought, “Oh no … He’s one of those, and he’s going to try to convert me.”) But as he told that story to another friend at a party at my house recently, he said, “I finally figured out that he [meaning me] was sort of normal and wasn’t trying to do that.” He and I and the other people in the conversation just laughed.

            That conversation was funny … and I would never want to put pressure on anyone, make them feel uneasy, or weird, or judged for their own beliefs. So, for those reasons I often have this problem: Even thought they do not want to mfeel weird, and I do not want to make them feel that way, I still want my friends to know that God is real, and I want them to meet Him on their terms.

            And I struggle with that.

            But that is not being a good friend, either … a good friend does share what they think their friend would love to know and have it if they knew, right? But I often don’t. And what do I know? They even might want to know what I think about God.

            S, I decided to solve my problem. I am writing down some of my thoughts about God … for my friends. The stuff we never talk about.

Next Up:

The book’s Introduction. After that, you’ll have to buy the book.

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