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2019-02-022022-05-27

The Anabaptist Vision

Part Two of Two

Discipleship

First and fundamental in the Anabaptist vision was the conception of the essence of Christianity as discipleship. It was a concept which meant the transformation of the entire way of life of the individual believer and of society so that it should be fashioned after the teachings and example of Christ. The Anabaptists could not understand a Christianity which made regeneration, holiness, and love primarily a matter of intellect, of doctrinal belief, or of subjective “experience,” rather than one of the transformation of life. They demanded an outward expression of the inner experience. Repentance must be “evidenced” by newness of behavior. “In evidence” is the keynote which rings through the testimonies and challenges of the early Swiss brethren when they are called to give an account of themselves. The whole life was to be brought literally under the lordship of Christ in a covenant of discipleship, a covenant which the Anabaptist writers delighted to emphasize. The focus of the Christian life was to be not so much the inward experience of the grace of God, as it was for Luther, but the outward application of that grace to all of human conduct and the consequent Christianization of all human relationships.

The great word of the Anabaptists was not “faith” as it was with the reformers, but “following.” And baptism, the greatest of Christian symbols, was accordingly to be for them the “covenant of a good conscience toward God” (I Peter 3:21), the pledge of a complete commitment to obey Christ, and not primarily the symbol of a past experience. The Anabaptists had faith, indeed, but they used it to produce a life. Theology was for them a means, not an end.

That the Anabaptists not only proclaimed the ideal of full Christian discipleship but achieved, in the eyes of their opponents, a measurably higher level of performance than the average, is fully witnessed by the sources. The early Swiss and South German reformers were keenly aware of this achievement and its attractive power. Zwingli knew it best of all, but Bullinger , Capito, Vadian, and many others confirm his judgement that the Anabaptist Brethren were unusually sincere, devoted and effective Christians. However, since the Brethren refused to accept the state church system which the reformers were building, and in addition made “radical” demands which might have changed the entire social order, the leaders of the Reformation were completely baffled in their understanding of the movement. In Zwingli’s last book against the Swiss Brethren in 1527 for instance, the following is found: “If you investigate their life and conduct, it seems at first contact irreproachable, pious, unassuming, attractive, yea, above this world. Even those inclined to be critical will say their lives are excellent.”

And the Roman Catholic theologian, Franz Agricola, in his book of 1582, Against the Terrible Errors of the Anabaptists, says: “Among existing heretical sects there is none which in appearance leads a more modest or pious life than the Anabaptist. As concerns their outward public life they are irreproachable. No lying, deception, swearing, strife, harsh language, no intemperate eating and drinking, no outward personal display is found amongst them, but humility, patience, uprightness, neatness, honesty, temperance, straight forwardness, in such measure that one would suppose that they had the Holy Spirit of God.

2. Brotherhood

A second major element in the Anabaptist vision, a new concept of the church was created by the central principle of newness of life and applied Christianity. Voluntary church membership based upon true conversion and involving a commitment to holy living and discipleship was the absolutely essential heart of this concept. This vision stands in sharp contrast to the church concept of the reformers who retained the medieval idea of a mass church with membership of the entire population from birth to the grave compulsory by law and force.

It is from the standpoint of this new conception of the church that the Anabaptist opposition to infant baptism must be interpreted. Infant baptism was not the cause of their disavowal of the state church; it was only a symbol of the cause. How could infants give a commitment based upon a knowledge of what true Christianity means? They might conceivably passively experience the grace of God (though Anabaptists would question this), but they could not respond in pledging their lives to Christ. Such infant baptism would not only be meaningless, but would in fact become a serious obstacle to a true understanding of the nature of Christianity and membership in the church. Only adult baptism could signify an intelligent life commitment.

The world would not tolerate the practice of true Christian principles in society, and the church could not tolerate the practice of worldly ways among its membership. Hence, the only way out was separation, the gathering of true Christians into their own Christian society where Christ’s way could and would be practiced. On this principle of separation Menno Simon said: “All the evangelical scriptures teach us that the church of Christ was and is, in doctrine, life, worship, a people separated from the world.

In a sense this principle of nonconformity to the world is merely a negative expression of the positive requirement of discipleship, but it goes further in the sense that it represents a judgement on the contemporary social order, which the Anabaptists called “the world,” as non-Christian, and sets up a line of demarcation between the Christian community and worldly society.

A logical outcome of the concept on nonconformity to the world was the concept of the suffering church. Conflict with the world was inevitable for those who endeavored to live an earnest Christian life. The Anabaptists expected opposition: they took literally the words of Jesus when he said, “In the world ye shall have tribulation,” but they also took literally his words on encouragement, “but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

Perhaps it was persecution that made the Anabaptists so acutely aware of the conflict between the church and the world, but this persecution was due to the fact that they refused to accept what they considered the sub-Christian way of life practiced in European Christendom. They could have avoided the persecution had they but conformed, or they could have suspended the practice of their faith to a more convenient time, but they chose with dauntless courage and simple honesty to live their faith, to defy the existing world order, and to suffer the consequences.

3. Love and Nonresistance

The third great element in the Anabaptist vision was the ethic of love and nonresistance as applied to all human relationships. The Brethren understood this to mean complete abandonment of all warfare, strife, and violence, and of the taking of human life. Conrad Grebel, the Swiss, said in 1524: “True Christians use neither worldly sword nor engage in war, since among them taking life has ceased entirely, for we are no longer under the Old Covenant … The Gospel and those who accept it are not to be protected with the sword, neither should they thus protect themselves.

In this principle of nonresistance, or biblical pacifism, which was thoroughly believed and resolutely practiced by all the original Anabaptist Brethren and their descendants throughout Europe from the beginning until the last century, the Anabaptists were again creative leaders, far ahead of their times, in this antedating the Quakers by over a century and a quarter. It should be remembered that they held this principle when both Catholic and Protestant churches not only endorsed war as an instrument of state policy, but employed it in religious conflicts as well.

There were two foci (cornerstones) in the Anabaptist vision

The first focus relates to the essential nature of Christianity. Is Christianity primarily a matter of the reception of divine grace through:
A sacramental-sacerdotal institution (Roman Catholicism),
Or chiefly enjoyment of the inner experience of the grace of God through faith in Christ (Lutheranism)
Or is it most of all the transformation of life through discipleship (Anabaptism)

The Anabaptists were neither institutionalists, mystics, nor pietists (movement within Lutheranism in reaction to the Churches formalism and intellectualism) for they laid the weight of their emphasis upon following Christ in life. To them it was unthinkable for one truly to be a Christian without creating a new life on divine principles both for himself and for all men who commit themselves to the Christian way.

The second foci relates to the church. For the Anabaptist, the church was neither:
An institution (Catholicism)
Nor the instrument of God for the proclamation of the divine Word (Lutheranism)
Nor a resource group for individual piety (Pietism)
But rather a brotherhood of love in which the fullness of the Christian life ideal is to be expressed. (Anabaptist)

The Anabaptist vision may be further clarified by comparison of the social ethics of the four main Christian groups of the Reformation period, Catholic, Calvinist, Lutheran,and Anabaptist.

Catholic and Calvinist alike were optimistic about the world, agreeing that the world can be redeemed; they held that the entire social order can be brought under the sovereignty of God and Christianized, although they used different means to attain this goal.

Lutheran and Anabaptist were pessimistic about the world, denying the possibility of Christianizing the entire social order; but the consequent attitudes of these two groups toward the social order were diametrically opposed. Lutheranism said that since the Christian must live in a world order that remains sinful, he must make a compromise with it. As a citizen he cannot avoid participation in the evil of the world, for instance in making war, and for this his only recourse is to seek forgiveness by the grace of God; only within his personal private experience can the Christian truly Christianize his life.

The Anabaptist rejected this view completely. Since for him no compromise may be made with evil, the Christian may in no circumstance participate in any conduct in the existing social order which is contrary to spirit and teaching of Christ and the apostolic practice. He must consequently withdraw from the worldly system and create a social order within the fellowship of the church brotherhood. Extension of this Christian order by the conversion of individuals and their transfer out of the world into the church is the only way by which progress can be made in Christianizing the social order.

However, the Anabaptist was realistic. Down the long perspective of the future he saw little chance that the mass of humankind would enter into such a brotherhood with its high ideals. Hence he anticipated a long and grievous conflict between the church and the world. Neither did he anticipate the time when the church would rule the world; the church would always be a suffering church. He agreed with the words of Jesus when He said that those who would be His disciples must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow him, and that there would be few who would enter the strait gate and travel the narrow way of life. If this prospect should seem too discouraging, the Anabaptist would reply that the life within the Christian brotherhood is satisfyingly full of love and joy.

Summary

The Anabaptist vision was not a detailed blueprint for the reconstruction of human society, but the Brethren did believe that Jesus intended that the kingdom of God should be set up in the midst of earth, here and now, and this they proposed to do forthwith. We shall not believe, they said, that the Sermon on the Mount or any other vision that He had is only a heavenly vision meant but to keep His followers in tension until the last great day, but we should practice what he taught, believing that where He walked we can by His grace follow in His steps.

THE END —- Your Response?

2019-02-012019-02-26

The Anabaptist Vision…

Part One of Two

Today I am compelled as I witness the North American Anabaptist landscape to introduce you to the scholarly presidential address by Harold S Bender to the American Society of Church History at Columbia University in NYC in 1943. The address has remained predominately in circles of the theologians and historians and few of today’s 500,000 NA Anabaptists in the pews have actually read it or discussed its significance.

Harold S Bender held degrees from Goshen College, Garrett Biblical Institute, Princeton Theological Institute, Princeton University and Heidelberg University. He was ordained to ministry in 1933 as well as the Dean of Goshen College, and from 1944 until his death in 1962 he served as Dean of the Goshen College Biblical Seminary. He became the President of Mennonite World Conference in 1952 and in 1927 he founded the scholarly quarterly, The Mennonite Quarterly Review and served as its editor until his death.

This entire address of 35 pages plus 11 pages of extensive footnotes is available on Amazon or you may Google “the anabaptist vision summary” and the second choice, “The Anabaptist Vision by Harold S Bender – Goshen College” will take you to the address in its entirety. Here is my Reader’s Digest Condensed version if you prefer.

The Anabaptist Vision

“Judged by the reception it met at the hands of those in power, both in Church and State, equally in Roman Catholic and in Protestant countries, the Anabaptist movement was one of the most tragic in the history of Christianity; but, judged by the principles, which were put into play by the men who bore this reproachful nickname, it must be pronounced one of the most momentous and significant undertakings in man’s eventful religious struggle after the truth. It gathered up the gains of earlier movements, it is the spiritual soil out of which all nonconformist sects have sprung, and it is the first plain announcement in modern history of a program for a new type of Christian society which the modern world, especially in America and England, has been slowly realizing – an absolute free and independent religious society, and a state in which every man counts as a man, and has his share in shaping both Church and State.”

These words of Rufus M. Jones constitute one of the best characterizations of Anabaptism and its contribution to our modern Christian culture to be found in the English language. They were brave words when they were written in 1908, but they have been abundantly verified by a generation of Anabaptist research since that time. There can be no question but that the great principles of freedom of conscience, separation of church and state, and voluntarism in religion, so basic in American Protestantism and so essential to democracy, ultimately are derived from the Anabaptists of the Reformation period, who for the first time clearly enunciated them and challenged the Christian world to follow them in practice. The line of descent through the centuries since that time may not always be clear, and may have passed through other intermediate movements and groups, but the debt to original Anabaptism is unquestioned.

The sixteenth-century reformers understood the Anabaptist position on this point all to well, and deliberately rejected it. The best witness is Heinrich Bullinger, Zwingli’s successor in Zurich, whose active life-span covers the first fifty years of the history of the Swiss Anabaptists and who knew them so well that he published two extensive treatises against them in 1531 and 1561. According to Bullinger, the Swiss Brethren taught that:

“One cannot and should not use force to compel anyone to accept the faith, for faith is a free gift of God. It is wrong to compel anyone by force or coercion to embrace the faith, or to put to death anyone for the sake of his erring faith. It is an error that in the church any sword other than that of the divine Word should be used. The secular kingdom should be separated from the church, and no secular ruler should exercise authority in the church. The Lord has commanded simply to preach the Gospel, not to compel anyone by force to accept it. The true church of Christ has the characteristic that it suffers and endures persecution but does not inflict persecution upon anyone.”

Bullinger reports these ideas, not in commendation but in condemnation urging the need of rigid suppression. He attempts a point by point refutation of the Anabaptist teaching, closing with the assertion that to put to death Anabaptists is a necessary and commendable service.

But great as is the Anabaptist contribution to the development of religious liberty, this concept not only does not exhaust but actually fails to define the true essence of Anabaptism who had not only clearly defined goals but also an action plan of definiteness and power. In fact the more intimately one becomes acquainted with this group the more one becomes conscious of the great vision that shaped their course in history and for which they gladly gave their lives.

Before describing this vision it is well to note its attractiveness to the masses of Christians of the sixteenth century. Bullinger wrote in 1531 that “ the people were running after them as though they were living saints.” Another contemporary writer asserts that “Anabaptism had spread with such speed that there was reason to fear that the majority of the common people would unite with this sect. Zwingli was so frightened by the power of the movement that he complained that the struggle with the Catholic party was “but child’s play” compared to the conflict with the Anabaptists.

The dreadful severity of the persecution of the Anabaptist movement in the years 1527-60 not only in Switzerland and South Germany, but in all the Austrian lands as well as in the Low Countries, testifies to the power of the movement and the desperate haste with which the Catholic, Lutheran, and Zwinglian authorities alike strove to throttle it before it should be too late. In 1529 the decree issued by the Diet of Spires summarily passed the sentence of death upon all Anabaptists, ordering that “every Anabaptist and re-baptized person of either sex should be put to death by fire, sword, or some other way.” Even judges and jurors who had scruples against pronouncing the death sentence on Anabaptists, be removed from office and punished by heavy fines and imprisonment.

The authorities had great difficulty in executing their program of suppression, for they soon discovered that the Anabaptists feared neither torture or death, and gladly sealed their faith with their blood. Therefore, since the customary method of individual trials and sentences were proving totally inadequate to stem the tide, the authorities resorted to sending out mounted soldiers and armed executioners to hunt down Anabaptists and kill them on the spot singly or en masse without trial or sentence.

The Anabaptists bore all the torture and agony without fear. The things of this world they counted in their holy mind only as shadows, having the assurance of greater things. They were so drawn to God that they sought nothing, desired nothing, loved nothing but God alone. Therefore they had more patience in their suffering than their enemies in tormenting them. The prisoners sang in their prisons and rejoiced so that the enemies outside became much more fearful than the prisoners and did not know what to do with them. Many were talked to in wonderful ways, often day and night. They were argued with, with great cunning and cleverness, with many sweet and smooth words, by monks and priests, by doctors of theology, with much false testimony, with threats and scolding and mockery, yea, with lies and grievous slander against the brotherhood, but none of these things moved them or made them falter.

Before defining the Anabaptist vision, it is essential to state clearly who is meant by the term “Anabaptist,” since the name has come to be used in modern historiography to cover a wide variety of Reformation groups, sometimes thought of as the whole “left wing of the Reformation” (Roland Bainton), or “the Bolsheviks of the Reformation” (Preserved Smith). There is no longer any excuse for permitting our understanding of the distinct character of this genuine Anabaptism to be obscured by Thomas Munster and the Peasants War, the Munsterites, or any other aberration of Protestantism in the sixteenth century.

The Anabaptists were concerned most of all about “a true Christian life,” that is a life patterned after the teaching and example of Christ by establishing congregations in which repentance was evidenced by fruits from their newness of life in Christ. The Anabaptists believed the reformers, such as Luther and Zwingli, did not secure among the people true repentance, regeneration, and Christian living as a result of their preaching.

There is abundant evidence that although the original goal sought by Luther and Zwingli was “an earnest Christianity” for all, the actual outcome was far less, for the level of Christian living among the Protestant population was frequently lower than it had been before under Catholicism. Luther himself was keenly aware of the deficiency. Between 1522 and 1527 Luther repeatedly mentioned his concern to establish a true Christian church, and his desire to provide for earnest Christians who would confess the gospel with their lives as well as with their tongues. Zwingli faced the same problem; he was in fact specifically challenged by the Swiss brethren to set up such a church; but he refused and followed Luther’s course. Both reformers decided it was better to include the masses within the fold of the church than to form a fellowship of true Christians only. In taking this course, the Anabaptists said the reformers surrendered their original purpose, and abandoned the divine intention. Others may say they were wise and statesman-like leaders.

The Anabaptists, however, retained the original vision of Luther and Zwingli, enlarged it, gave it body and form, and set out to achieve it in actual experience. They proceeded to organize a church composed solely of earnest Christians, and actually found the people for it. They did not believe in any case that the size of the response should determine whether or not the truth of God should be applied, and they refused to compromise. They preferred to make a radical break with 1500 years of history and culture if necessary rather than to break with the New Testament.

Luther’s expressions of his partial failures and dejection are well known. Contrast this sense of defeat at the end of Luther’s outwardly successful career with the sense of victory in the hearts of the Anabaptist martyrs who laid down their lives in what the world would call defeat, conscious of having kept faith with their vision to the end.

Therefore, by having defined genuine Anabaptism in its Reformation setting, we are now ready to examine its central teachings. The Anabaptist vision included three major points of emphasis: 1.) Discipleship, 2.) Brotherhood, and 3.) Love and Nonresistance.These three will be reviewed in the next posting. Blessings as you ponder the significance of either your heritage or the spiritual integrity of the martyrs for all believers. Merlin

2019-01-292019-02-26

What Is Driving Your Relationships?

“The happiest people on the planet are the men and women who have dynamic relationships. They give focus and priority to their relationships, and as a result have a richer experience of relationship and of life.

John Wooden, the college basketball coach of note, once said in an interview with Sports Illustrated : “Why is it so hard hard for so many to realize that winners are usually the ones who work harder, work longer, and , as a result, perform better?” It is in true in sports, it is true in business, and yes, it is true in relationships.

There are winners and losers in relationships. I am not talking about the games that have become a seemingly intrinsic part of the modern dating scene. In a relationship, one person doesn’t win while the other loses. It is absurd even to speak in such terms. Either both win, or both loose. That’s why so much is at stake. That’s why we feel so powerless and helpless at times in relationships. That’s why it is so important to choose the right people to spend our limited time and energy in relationships with. When I speak of winners and losers in relationships, I speak of the reality that some couples win and other couples loose.

The state of our relationships has an impact on every aspect of our lives. You don’t leave a struggling relationship at home when you go work or school, and you don’t check a tumultuous relationship at the door of your other relationships. If you have a relationship that is struggling, there’s a good chance it is affecting many areas of your life. The troubled relationship may be with a spouse or significant other, or you may have a relationship with a colleague, friend, child, parent, or sibling that has fallen on rough times. Relationships affect us deeply, and a failing or struggling relationship can have a negative impact on the way we perform at work, the hope we hold for the future, the way we feel about ourselves, what we eat or don’t eat, the way we spend our time, and every other aspect of our daily life. On the other hand, when we are thriving in our relationships, especially our primary relationships, we tend to carry a very positive atmosphere wherever we go.

A dynamic primary relationship doesn’t just change the social aspect of our lives, it changes our whole lives by changing the way we see ourselves and the world.

This book is about giving you the tools necessary to create a dynamic primary relationship. The Seven Levels of Intimacy provide a simple model – the strength of any good model is simplicity – but the the process is not easy. Sometimes the biggest mistake we make is believing, at the outset, that the journey ahead is going to be easy. Such a traveler almost always comes unprepared and under-supplied.

You may be well into your journey and have discovered that you need to stop to get resupplied; you may be just beginning your journey; or you may be trying to decide whether you want to set out at all. Whatever the case may be, I am delighted that our paths have crossed and I hope the ideas that fill the pages of this book will prove useful to you in your quest for intimacy.

It takes a lifetime to build great relationships and to learn how to sustain them. Along the way, there will be great moments of triumph and ecstasy and other moments of trial and heartache. This book is no quick fix and it doesn’t contain all the answers. It is simply a tool to help you reconnect with your deep desire to be involved in great relationships.

Connecting with people in a powerful way is a skill that must be developed, nurtured, and practiced. Our primary relationship is the inner sanctum of our emotional lives. It is our first source of emotional support and our primary opportunity to develop and experience a deep level of intimacy. For most of us, our primary relationship will be the one chance we have in this lifetime to truly know a person, and in turn, to be deeply known by another human being.

Too often we spend our days surrounded by trivia and superficial, constantly overloaded with information and quite literally, to deeply know a person becomes more and more of a miracle. Most of what we do every day we do simply to survive. Relationships are what drive us to survive!”

I trust the above as taken from Matthew Kelly’s book “The Seven Levels of Intimacy” will stimulate and encourage you to read further as you strive to better transition in your relationships from merely surviving to expansively thriving. Perhaps the last sentence in the paragraph above would be enhanced if it were to read “Positive intimate relationships are what drive us to survive.” If so, perhaps we may consider the inverse. Negative intimate relationships when taken to the extreme, may cause people to withdraw from society, possibly to resurface later in tragic random shootings such as occurred to Dean Beachy and his son Steven January 24th in State College PA.

I simply ask, Am I my brother’s keeper? Am I an example and encouraging others to be? Am I keeping short accounts? God is love. Seriously now, how do we love without being in relationship? Is love driving my relationships?

Blessings as YOU GO FORTH>>>> Merlin

2019-01-212019-02-26

Embrace The Mystery

“A tree with strong roots can weather any storm. If you have not done so already, the day to start growing those roots is today. Gratitude, respect, and discipline are three powerful ways to ground and nurture your relationships. But keep in mind also, that trees sway in the wind. They are not rigid. Even the largest and strongest trees sway when the wind blows. Allow for uncertainty; you can be sure it will come. Find the lesson in the unexpected; it has come to help you in your quest to become-the-best-version-of-yourself. Try to enjoy mystery; it will keep you young.

The present culture despises uncertainty, and so we waste endless amounts of time and energy trying to create the illusion of security and attempting to control the uncontrollable. We curse the unexpected because it interferes with our plans, even though it often carries with it the challenge we need at that moment to change and grow into a-better-version-of-ourselves. In the same way, our culture has no time for mystery. If we cannot solve or prove it, then we ignore it or discredit it.

“Life is not a problem to be solved, it is a mystery to be lived,” wrote Kierkegaard. Your spouse is not a problem to be solved, your children are not problems to be solved, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your partner or fiance is not a problem to be solved. They are mysteries to be accepted, encouraged, experienced, and enjoyed.

Relationships are not to be understood and fixed and solved; they too, are mysteries to be enjoyed.

The best participants in the mystery we call relationship seem to be people who don’t need to understand everything, the ones who aren’t out to prove anything, those humble enough to accept when they are wrong and hold their tongues when they are right, the people who don’t have an agenda, who aren’t in a hurry, and who don’t need the credit when things go right and don’t pass the blame when things go wrong.

Those are the rare souls who seem to be able to hold their arms wide open and embrace fully the mystery of loving and the joy of being loved.”

So roots, storms, uncertainties, and mysteries are to be enjoyed? Really now? The above was taken from page 67 in Matthew Kelly’s book “The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and the Joy of Being Loved.” With God’s empowerment, may we each someday be one those able to hold our arms wide open and embrace fully the mystery of loving and the joy of being loved. Sweet indeed!!

2019-01-192019-02-26

“Do You Know Something I Don’t Know?”

David Anderson lived in Boston with his wife, Sarah, and their three children, Rachel, Shannon and Jonah. He was a very successful businessman, and one of the rewards of his success was their their summer home on Martha’s Vineyard. Sarah and the kids spent the whole summer there, while David usually spent part of each weekend and always came for the first two weeks of July.

One summer a few years ago, he was driving out to the beach at the beginning of July when he made a promise to himself. For two weeks, he was going to be a loving and attentive husband and father. He would make himself totally available. He would turn off his cellphone, resist the temptation to be constantly checking his email, and make himself completely available to his family and a genuine experience of vacation.

You see David worked too much. He knew it. Everyone around him knew it. When you love your work, that’s one of the dangers. When you rely on your work too much for your identity, that’s one of the pitfalls. From time to time, David felt guilty about how much he worked, but he managed to brush the guilt aside by making the excuse that it was necessary. Sometimes he overcame his feeling of guilt by calling to mind the many privileges and opportunities that his wife and children were able to enjoy because he worked so hard.

Did the rationalizations succeed? Only temporarily. But this vacation was going to be different. David was going to be attentive and available.

The idea had come to him in his car, as he listened to a CD that a friend had given him. People were always giving him books to read and tapes to listen to, and the gifts always made him cringe, because he knew the giver would ask him his opinion the next time their paths crossed. But for some reason, he had popped this CD in as he drove out of his garage this day.

The speaker was discussing dynamic relationships; feeling a bit uncomfortable, David was about to turn it off when something that man said struck him: “Love is a choice. Love is an act of the will,” he said. “You can choose to love.”

At that moment, David admitted to himself that as a husband he had been selfish, and that the love between him and Sarah had been dulled by his selfishness, by his insensitivity, by his unavailability. This self-centeredness manifested itself mostly in small ways. He insisted they watch whatever he wanted to watch on television. He made Sarah feel small for always being late. He constantly put his work before the needs of his family. He would take newspapers to work knowing that Sarah wanted to read them, and that he would be unlikely to have time to do so during his busy day. He was constantly saying “Some other time” to his children, “Not now” to his wife. But for two weeks all that was going to change. And so it did.

From the moment David walked through the door, kissed his wife, and said, “You look really good in that new sweater. That’s a great color for you,” Sarah was taken back, surprised, even a little perplexed. Her first reaction was to wonder if he was having a dig at her for buying more clothes, but when he smiled and asked her, “What have I missed?” the genuine compliment settled in and felt wonderful.

After battling the traffic to get to the vacation house, David just wanted to sit down and relax, but Sarah suggested a walk on the beach. David began to refuse, but then thought better of it: “Sarah has been out here all week alone with the children, and now she just wants to be alone.” So they walked the beach hand in hand, while the children flew their kites.

The next morning, Sarah almost fell out of bed when he brought her breakfast in bed. Admittedly, David had woken their daughter Rachel to help him pull that one off, but it was extraordinary nonetheless. Over breakfast he told her about a dream he had that night, and then he asked, “What would you like to do today?”

Sarah couldn’t remember the last time he had asked her that.

“Don’t you have work to do?” she countered.

“No,” he said. “We can do anything you want.”

Over and over throughout the day David said to himself, “Love is a choice. Love is a choice. Love is a choice.”

And so it went. For two weeks, they relaxed, they were happy. It was a dream vacation. Two weeks without the constant harassment of cell phones and e-mail; they visited the maritime museum, even though David hates museums; he allowed the kids to eat ice cream whenever they wanted; he even managed to hold his tongue when Sarah’s getting ready made them late for his best friend’s birthday dinner.

“Did Dad win something?” their daughter Shannon asked her mother one day. Sarah laughed, but she had been wondering herself what had overcome her husband.

After lunch on the last day, David excused himself and walked the beach alone. He thought of the promise he had made to himself driving out two weeks earlier, and now made a new promise to keep choosing love when they got home.

That night as he and Sarah were preparing for bed, Sarah suddenly stopped and looked at David with the saddest expression he’d ever seen come across her face. David panicked. “What’s the matter/”

“Do you know something I don’t know?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

Sarah said, “The check-up I had a few weeks ago … Did Dr. Lewis tell you something about me? Dave, you’ve been so good to me. Am I dying?”

David’s eyes filled with tears. Wrapping her in his arms and holding her tight, he said, “No honey. You’re not dying. I”m just starting to live!”

I hope you were positively challenged as I was when reading the above story that opens Matthew Kelley’s phenomenal book titled “The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving and The Joy Of Being Loved.” This story reminds me of a statement by Vaclav Havel, the Czech dramatist and human rights activist who later became his country’s president, who wrote, “I believe that nothing disappears forever, and less so deeds, which is why I believe that it makes sense to try to do something in life, something more than that which will bring one obvious returns.”

Relationships, whether founded on truth or not, when experiencing restoration and actually begin thriving, reflects my passion and are gifts of endless returns to all of us in the ripples. This book will guide you to invest your relational energy well! Blessings …Merlin

Please click the link below to read the first chapter or to purchase.

https://dynamiccatholic.com/the-seven-levels-intimacy-paperback

2019-01-172019-02-26

Don’t Just Hope…

The following story is taken verbatim from Matthew Kelly’s book “The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving And The Joy Of Being Loved“, a book best introduced and discussed in every home around the supper table before the kids leave home … with their own copy, of course!

Peter was just an ordinary guy. He liked to watch football, drink beer, and hang out with his friends. From time to time, when he was alone, he would get a little introspective and start to think about where his life was going. It was then he thought about relationships; more specifically he would wonder whether he would ever have a truly great relationship. He always concluded that he hoped one day he would.

One thing Peter loved to do was people-watch, and if you like people-watching there is perhaps no better place than an airport.

A few years ago, he was standing at the airport in San Francisco waiting for a friend when he had one of those life-changing experiences you sometimes hear people talk about …. the kind that sneaks up on you when you least expect it.

Straining to locate a friend among the deplaning passengers, Peter noticed a man walking toward him carrying two small bags. The man stopped right next to Peter to greet his waiting family.

First he motioned to his younger son, who was perhaps five or six years old. Putting down his bags, he took the boy in his arms and gave him a long loving hug, and as they drew apart long enough to look at each other, Peter overheard the father say, “It’s so good to see you, son. I’ve missed you so much.”

The boy smiled shyly, averted his eyes and replied, “Me too, Dad.”

Standing up, the man gazed into his elder son’s eyes (the boy was maybe nine or ten years old) and, cupping the boy’s chin with his hand, he said, “You’re already such a fine young man, Nathan, I love you very much.” With that he took the boy in his arms and gave him a long tender hug.

While all this was happening a baby girl was eyeing her father and squirming excitedly in her mother’s arms, never once taking her eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man turned to the child now and said, “Hi baby girl!” as he gently took her from her mother’s arms, kissed her face all over, and pulled her to his chest, rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.

After several long moments he handed his daughter to his elder son, declared , “I’ve saved the best for last,” and proceeded to kiss and embrace his wife. After a long moment, they drew back to look at each other. He stared into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed, “I love you so much.”

As they stood staring into each other’s eyes, holding hands with both hands and covered in smiles, they reminded Peter of newlyweds, though he knew from the ages of their children that couldn’t possibly be.

All of a sudden, Peter became awkwardly aware of how engrossed he had become in this wonderful display of unconditional love, no more than an arm’s length from him. In that moment he began to feel uncomfortable, as if he had intruded on something sacred. But he was amazed to hear his own voice asking, “How long have you been married?”

“Been together fourteen years, married for twelve,” the stranger replied without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife’s face.

“How long you been away?” Peter asked.

The stranger turned to him now, smiled, and said, “Two whole days.

“Peter was stunned. He had guessed, from the intensity of their greeting, that the man had been gone for weeks, if not months. Two whole days, he thought to himself, and smiled. Now embarrassed, hoping to end his intrusion with some semblance of grace, Peter offhandedly said, “I hope my marriage is that passionate after twelve years!”

Suddenly the man stopped smiling. He looked straight into Peter’s eyes with a forcefulness that burned straight through to his soul, and he said something that left Peter a different man:

Don’t just hope, friend, decide!”

And with that, the stranger picked up his bags and he and his family strolled off.

Peter was still watching them disappear into the distance when his friend came up to him and said, “Whatcha looking at?”

Peter smiled and, without hesitating, replied, “My future.”

Great relationships don’t just come to those who hope for them. Hope is worthless unless coupled with real effort. Great relationships belong to those who decide to put in the effort and make them a priority. Don’t just hope … decide!

Please click below to read the first chapter!

https://dynamiccatholic.com/the-seven-levels-of-intimacy-paperback

2018-12-082019-02-26

Greetings in this “dawning” of another Christmas Season

I’m drawing here from one of my favorite authors, Tim Keller, with his accent on the word “dawning” in his shorter than usual book, “Hidden Christmas: The Surprising Truth Behind the Birth Of Christ.” I was first encouraged to read Keller by our youth pastor years ago while we served as MYF sponsors with him. Thank you Thomas, because Keller’s books revealed the astonishing basic scriptural truths to me undoubtedly providing the spiritual impetus for what I refer to now in my blog as “Retooled and Thriving.”

Hidden Christmas is a book I now reread each fall following Thanksgiving in preparation for Christmas. Truthfully, I never was a Christmas addict, though as I am quite steeped in church culture, it was a season pretty much like all the others that came and went over the years devoid of any personal passion from me. That was until I read Hidden Christmas a few years ago (I think this is now my third such annual encounter) after God started literally purging my “temple” as Josiah did the temple in the OT while re-discovering the scrolls and re-instituting temple worship. The process that swept thru my mind a few years ago may best be described as the reformatting of my hard drive, certainly not merely a re-booting.

Starting with the Isaiah 9:2, 5-7 passage, I quote “the people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned….” The New King James uses the word “shined” but I much prefer “dawned”, likely because very few people, except for truckers and dairymen, have witnessed more sunrises than I. Fact is for me, “dawned” connotes such a rich understanding of progressing from complete darkness to a full brilliancy of color in the sky and the freshness of a new day, from the glistening dew on the lush vibrant fields and forests to the swooping birds in flight. “Shining” does have potential too, but I find it more static, for “shined” can be either switched off or on. Whereas for me, “dawned” evidences a daily renewal of the redemptive process, not that the incarnation is a repeated event; let alone daily. Let it be known there was only one such event, ever! But yet, with us mere mortals, though we may need to shine as admonished in the Sunday School chorus from “hide it under a bushel, NO! I’m going to let it shine”, I prefer to focus on the incarnation event in that as “a light has dawned.”

And I do believe, “dawned” is the path many of us actually do discover Christ. My generation’s “accepting” Christ was more a “shined” event; we were “exposed” in a situation, whether camp, Bible School, youth retreat, crusade, revival, etc., where we suddenly found ourselves in the “time to make a decision spotlight”, whether it was orchestrated or not, perhaps by “pure”coincidence, or as we reflect later, a “mass movement”, it was now time and the thing to do. And so we did.

See why I much prefer “dawned”. Keller explains it as “it doesn’t say from the world a light has sprung, but upon the world a light has dawned. It has come from the outside. There is light outside of this world and Jesus has brought that light to save us; indeed, he is the Light (John 8:12).” And actually, now as we find ourselves in our mature years, we realize that we were actually “dawned” upon a number of times, speaking now solely of our spiritual growth cycles, throughout our life to date. Keller wisely ignores all this trivia, but goes dead center for the Christian religiosity cultural jugular artery or vein. He clearly makes the point, that unless you have first come to fully understand and appreciate the significance of the “incarnation”, you’ll not understand let alone appreciate, the fullness of God’s revelation of salvation afforded us by his resurrection, nor have any inkling of empowerment by the Holy Spirit.

So, what are we to do, with this fairy tale magical once upon a time event, that you and I have encountered annually since memory serves? First, perhaps we begin by believing the report about what has happened in history, that God really did become a human being, and thank Him for his reality in our lives. Secondly, in appreciation, simply ask Him for more faith in order to accomplish greater “works”, works best interpreted as “obedient actions” as we read in James 2:18.

Quoting Keller near the end of the first chapter, he writes “There has never been a gift offered that makes you swallow your pride to the depths that the gift of Jesus Christ requires us to do. Christmas means that we are so lost, so unable to save ourselves, that nothing less than the death of the Son of God himself could save us. That means you are not somebody who can pull yourself together and live a moral and good life. When Jesus died on the cross, darkness fell over the land. The Light of the world descended into darkness in order to bring us into God’s beautiful light (I Peter 2:9) The promises of Christmas cannot be discerned unless you first admit you can’t save yourself, or even know yourself, without the light of his unmerited grace in your life. This is the foundational truth from which we can proceed to learn the hidden truths of Christmas!”

Such hidden truths include “The Gospel is Good News, Not Good Advice”, “The Gospel Story Changes How We Read Other Stories,” “The Gospel Turns The Worlds Values Upside Down,” “God May Take His Time, But He Keeps His Word,” and “The Gospel Is Ultimate Rest.”

May we share the Gospel “dawning” as the truth has “dawned” upon us, whenever, wherever, however, in our lives thus far. Join the growing throng of Keller Annual Advent Readers (KAAR) seeking to be reminded of the Incarnation, its truths, and our subsequent obedient actions.

Merry Christmas!