Author: Merlin Erb

World-renowned psychologist and leadership expert Henry Cloud has impacted millions of lives through his groundbreaking books and his work coaching leaders of the most influential organizations in the world. But few people know the details of his own story and how he become one of the most beloved and respected psychologists and faith influencers in America.

In this indelibly personal and vulnerable book, Dr. Cloud leads us through his early struggles with illness and depression and the miracles that healed him and led him to his calling as a healer of others. Through masterful storytelling combined with a deeply nuanced understanding of the human mind, Dr. Cloud invites readers to inhabit the spaces of suffering and elation that make us most human and to walk alongside of him as he ponders the great questions we are so often afraid to ask, but which give our lives fulfilling meaning.  

Introduction

One night, as a ten-year-old at camp in North Carolina, I felt a pain and stirring in my soul that has never gone away. The night had been a regular camp night … with counselors and cabin mates at the big bonfire … doing camp-like things. One of them I do remember being a bit unusual … we ate a rattlesnake that some crazy counselor had killed, but other than that, just normal stuff, along with some kind of “devotional” time. It was a “lightly” Christian camp, but not an in-your-face overbearing type of religious camp. Mainly it was a sports and wildlife experience for four weeks of fun and some attempt by the counselors at spiritual and character development of who knows what kinds of kids had been sent there by parents wanting either a break or a better version of their kid. My parents probably hoped for both.

That week had been one of a difficult-to-explain heightening of my love for God. I had always had a strong consciousness of God from early childhood … I somehow knew He was there. He showed Himself to me ways I couldn’t really explain … I just knew when I felt His presence and that it was real. But this particular camp experience that week led me to a little mountainside chapel as I was out for a hike, where I had an experience that I remember as if it were yesterday. I was tromping around in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina and suddenly felt drawn into that little building. As I sat there in silence, I was overcome with a movement in my heart. I felt Him drawing me to Him … it was kind of overwhelming, in a good way. The love was so strong that I felt for Him. As I sat there, I told Him that I would do whatever He wanted me to do with my life. I had been moved by an Invisible Force that I knew was real and loving. I was sure of that.

Which brought me to that night … I had it before, the “gospel” message that was conveyed, that God loved all of us and Jesus had died to pay the penalty for everything we had ever done wrong, securing forgiveness for any of us for all time. I had believed it before as a child but probably didn’t understand it as well as I did that night. For some reason, this time it pierced more deeply.

I don’t remember all of the details of the message, but I vividly remember the gist. The counselor said that the gospel was a simple message that was like this: Think of if you committed a crime, and went to court, and were found guilty by the judge. You are standing in front of the bench, and he pronounces the verdict: guilty as charged. And then he pronounces the penalty, the fine. You know that you cannot pay it or endure it, but it stands as true and real. You are guilty and you are convicted. You must pay the fine. And you also realize that you cannot afford the price.

Then right at that moment, the judge says, “I will come down from the bench and stand in your place and pay the fine for you if you want me to. You may go free if you accept my offer.” The counselor then said, “That is what Jesus did for us. He paid our fine, and if we accept His payment, his death on the cross for us, we can go free and be pronounced ‘not guilty.”’ We can be forever forgiven by God for everything we have ever done, or ever will do. It has been paid for, if we accept it.

Somehow the simplicity of that moved me in a different way than it ever before. I realized that the love that I had felt from God was from a loving Father, not mad at me for being “bad,” and not ready to zap me for any mistake. It came together in a much deeper way.

So, with all that good news, why the pain that night?

I felt the pain of knowing that my best friend did not know God … did not know that there was Someone who loved him this much and that he would have a relationship with … and I wanted him to know it, too. But I felt squeamish about how to tell him. After all, we were more concerned with being cool and tough and winning games and trophies than being one of those weird religious types. So, I had never talked to him about it. And that night, I cried with my counselor in front of the fireplace back in at the lodge. I needed to know how to get out of this dilemma … the dilemma of carrying around such an incredible Reality that I knew he would want to know, and at the same time being too afraid to talk about it.

Well, since that time, a lot has happened. A lot. And I have seen way, way more of how real God is, and what He can do. And this book is my attempt to put my journey with God into words … for one purpose: I want my friends to know that God is real. And although I have discussed God with many of my friends since that time, I want to write it all down for them and others I have not talked to, in one place: “You might think I’m crazy, but this is why I believe, and why I want you to have a relationship with Him, too.” And before you read on, I can pretty much guarantee that you will find some of it to sound very crazy. But it is all true.

There are a lot of obstacles to faith. I had them myself after I decided to get more serious about my faith later in life, so I it is easy to for me to understand when others have those questions. I had to struggle with finding answers that satisfied me, because I could not be a believer and put my brain in a lockbox in order to do that. So, the first purpose of this book is to share with you my story of God’s reality in my life, and the second is to share how those hard questions were resolved in my own soul and brain. I want to share the answers I found that put it all to rest.

Life has so many dilemmas that make it so hard to believe in a good God at times, and the people who sell the God message can sometimes be so weird and crazy and obnoxious that we just feel like “If this faith were true, then all of that crap would not exist that surrounds it, and Christians would not be so undesirable and such a turn-off.” As I used to think when I was kid, “I like God; I just don’t like His friends.”

Of course, not all Christians are “that kind.” So, many are awesome people who do truly incredible things. They give of their time, talents, and resources to make the world a much better place, alleviating poverty, suffering, and much more. And they are people of stellar character. I know this to be true over and over, all around the world. But as I talk to people who do not share my faith, the experiences that they have had with some believers are often a big part of the obstacle to God. But the fascinating thing I have found is this: the religious people that you and I both struggle with and can’t stand are the same ones Jesus didn’t get along with, either. I will show you what He actually says about certain types of judgmental, narrow-minded, narcissistic, and controlling religious types. I will hopefully help you discover something I learned …that “they” are not what He or the faith is about at all, and those people often do exactly the opposite of what He told us to do, even doing those things “in His name.”

More about that later.

So, come along with me as I share my experience, my questions, and the answers that I have found that have satisfied my doubts. One disclaimer: I do not mean that my answers are even the best ones out there; they are only my heartfelt attempt to tell my own story about how they got answered for me. They come from many areas of science, and other fields, and as I studied those disciplines, I discovered something. There are brilliant people on both sides of faith and non-faith, and it told me that intelligence, IQ, science, philosophy or any other discipline is not standing in the way of whether or not someone believes. But for someone who does believe, the science supports faith, and as I will share with you, many of the most brilliant physicists, biologists, astronomers, and others who attest to that.

So, let’s hop in. First my journey to faith and its experiences, and then how some tough questions got answered.

NEXT UP:

Not at all sure. Loretta gave me this book for Father’s Day and we in a few minutes will begin chapter six on Audible as we walk our dogs on the exquisite Gerber Homestead Trail 1.25 mile twice daily trek. Both the trail and the book are an absolute delight. We are blessed!

“By Him let us continually offer the sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to His name” (Hebrews 13:15).

In the month that lies before you, you’ll have countless opportunities for sacrifice. Think of that person at work whom you struggle to love. What if you visualize yourself placing that relationship upon the altar as an offering of praise to God?

Your marriage needs to be offered up as a sacrifice every day. So does the way you spend your free time. If you begin to make a list of the things you could offer up in sacrifice, you might never stop writing. The truth, you see, is that when your life becomes a temple, a home for Jesus, you begin to see His face in the face of all those who surround you. You begin to treat them as you would treat Him. You begin to realize that all ground is holy ground, because God is there. You begin to see every situation as a potential act of worship, a time to magnify the name of the Lord.

Earlier this week I sat supposedly to read in the fast-food break area at Cosco’s over noontime while Loretta was shopping. Soon, most of the seats were taken. I then became preoccupied with which gentleman or couple might allow me to join them so my 4 seats would be open for others, but then the rush was over and empty seats prevailed.

But not before I found people watching much more captivating than even a favorite book. I was reminded of Jesus in Matthew 23:37 when he said while looking over Jerusalem, “How I wish I could gather your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings.” The exiting shoppers possessed a variety of facial expressions, demeanor, health challenges, language, actions, quite revealing interactions with presumably their spouse, or children, etc., all of which provided an abundance of character clues possibly to be developed into imaginary captivating short stories; all from a 20-30 second quick study on this holy ground, as they exited the fastest check-out counters I’ve ever witnessed.

Notice though, I didn’t mention any spiritual evaluations. But actually, don’t we Christ-Followers, actually begin with that first? For me at least, compared to ten years ago, today “the image of Jesus weeping over Jerusalem and the mother hen and her chicks,” is now front & center, especially when I’m out in public, sometimes even in church. But please don’t take that personal, for as you should realize by now, I have a vivid memory of past events, though not always of last week.  And though I struggle now just remembering names, make no mistake, 46 years ago while I was sitting in the east balcony contemplating my miserable lack of joy and peace while listening to Pastor Bill invite all of us home under God’s protective and empowering “abiding,” make no mistake, my SHELTER was SCARCE in a congregation of abundance! Ask me about my journey if you’re curious; I’ve got nothing to hide. After all, it is His-Story.

Again, please consider this Solitude-Service-Struggle cause or effect situation to gain Shelter during the coming chaos. And then ultimately, the ONE that encapsulates them all: SACRIFICE. Worship in the midst of these six S words! And when that happens, be prepared to throw open the doors of your life, sharing your overflowing well of joy and peace.

BOTTOM LINE:

The world is waiting to see the person you will become when you live every moment in the wonder of worship!

Prompted from David Jeremiah’s 2002 devotional Sanctuary: Finding Moments of Refuge in the Presence of God June 20.

Surely now, you know Satan Is Doomed? Right?

II Corinthians 10:4 “The weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in in God for pulling down strongholds.”

We know the ultimate victory has been won at Calvary, but it will be implemented in the future. The sentence has been passed, now it needs to be enforced. The enforcement is in the hands of the church. And the tool that enforces Satan’s defeat is the tool of prayer. “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (II Corinthians 10:4-5). One person praying on earth can move angels in heaven.

Christians need to learn the power of prayer against Satan, for he will be defeated in his work. We are not engaged in the warfare if we are not praying against Satan. The judgement that was effected at the cross and is enforced through prayer will be completed. Satan is doomed. Satan is on a leash and he is only free on earth to the length of his chain. He cannot go beyond God’s permission.

Bottom Line:

But if we don’t enforce his judgement in our own lives, we will be victims instead of victors.

David Jeremiah’s devotional Sanctuary: Finding Moments of Refuge in the Presence of God. 2002. June 18th reading

My two cents:

Let’s begin by reading verses 4-5 from the Message: The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massive corrupt culture. We use powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.

I personally am convinced tonight while reflecting on this reading that I have lazily lived in the darker corners of his Spirits empowerment of prayer paralyzing me from smashing our cultures warped philosophies and bringing every such thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ… Yes, I was aware this sentence has been passed, but I didn’t naively realize it needs to be enforced for me, in effect, in & thru my personal prayer life. That assuredly, is a quantum leap for my simple understanding, but perhaps, it’s related to “working out our salvation with fear & trembling” (Phil 2:12).  

I’m thinking the word “enforced” in the past two decades has become quite distasteful both in our culture and even the church, especially as it relates to the expansive cultural arenas characterized by “good being now evil, and evil now being good,” largely effectively silencing truth being espoused, while providing a platform and megaphone for the opposition.

So, when David Jeremiah here states above in his first paragraph, that “The enforcement is in the hands of the church and that the tool that enforces Satan’s defeat is the tool of prayer,” capped off none the less by my grievously ignoring the Spirit’s empowerment to live in a continual prayerful state, I’m first of all, really concerned about the “state of our (actually His) union,” and secondly, greatly motivated to ascertain His clarity. All of which doesn’t quite neatly line up with our default desired signature greeting at heaven’s threshold “well done, good and faithful servant,” (Matt 25:23) as he states in his final sentence, “if we don’t enforce his judgement in our own lives, we will be victims instead of victors.”

May that image of victim-hood be destroyed in the hearts and minds of Christ Followers! Books, I’m sure, have written on these verses, if you’re still thirsty. Seek and ye shall find…. Jeremiah just wants us equipped to fly above and beyond this oppressive ground fog and its darkness…Blessings today as you seek clarity and get cleared for take-off….merlin

Because you have … not withheld … your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky … and through your offspring, all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me. Genesis 22: 16-18 (NIV)

It fills a father’s heart with joy to see his children obey. The younger our children are when they willingly and joyfully obey, the more remarkable it is! In our desire to build godliness into our children’s lives, we want to be sure obedience is in place on their character chart.

If the obedience of our children is meaningful to us, how much more it must please God when we obey Him, whether we understand the outcome or not. Abraham did just that. When God asked him to take Issac to Mt. Moriah and sacrifice him, Abraham obeyed. We aren’t told of the emotions he felt or the sleeplessness he may have endured through the long night before. We just KNOW that he obeyed and trusted in God.

BOTTOM LINE:

One of the best gifts a godly father can give his child is when the child can observe his father’s heart being obedient to the Lord. So, are we ready to immediately and joyfully do whatever God asks without hesitation? Yes, it may at times be very difficult, and we MAY not fully understand until we see the full effect later in our life’s rear view mirror, but rest assured, God blesses families when their fathers obey.

One act of obedience is worth more than a hundred sermons.  Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Discovery: Experiencing God’s Word Day by Day June 8 David Jeremiah

I’m always so curious…

Fathers, this camouflaged short simple 246 word devotional has the explosive potential to rock our boats, perhaps thus revealing the needed changes in our embedded fathering leadership patterns, especially when we consider Abraham being commanded to GO, let alone the SACRIFICE component!

First off, is it normal thinking that we men (or even mothers) place ourselves mentally in a similar position as Abraham found himself? I did briefly, and then naively, found myself wondering if I would have even shared the command with Loretta, or if I’d just sucked it up, made the necessary plans the night before, arisen early the next morning and left without a word? Who am I kidding when I can’t even plan and implement a surprise picnic?

And I also keep wondering, where was Sara in all this drama? I’m not aware scripture really addresses that, like her earlier recorded snicker. Had Abraham confided the command with her, or, did he not, but because of her intuition as his wife, was she there undetected in the early morning shadows, watching Abraham’s team departure. Either way, knowledgeable or not, of God’s bizarre command, you wives/mothers can best imagine Sara’s mental anguish from such a heart-wrenching situation .

Back again to my reality. When my brain fog lifts, I realize my suppositions that God would even enter my space and give me such a command was akin to pure foolishness. It is not likely I will ever possess the essentials to warrant such an interaction/intervention from God. How I could ever be so naive to think that I could place myself in that realm of possibility of that command from God ever occurring to me?

But yet, is that not the playing field for all of us today to navigate as we encounter our “altar challenge” in order to spiritually mature? So, perhaps the important question really is: how well am I now obeying His Biblical commands or reveling in the inspiration of His Holy Spirit, so we’re ready for that inevitable future “altar moment”?

Such off-the-wall thinking tends to demoralize my present mental state before God and upon becoming depressed by my intellectual folly, He soon replaces such foolishness by an awe of His greatness. Read Psalm 19. Notice how quickly our warped little minds can run the gamut from our nothingness before an Almighty God to embracing the resplendent empowering three “omni” attributes that characterize Him as all-powerful, all-knowing, and everywhere present culminating in John 3:16, “For God SO LOVED the world that He gave His ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, that whosoever BELIEVETH in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

FYI, Omnipotence means that God is in total control of himself and His creation. Omniscience means that He is the ultimate criterion of truth and falsity so that His ideas are always true. Omnipresence means that since God’s power and knowledge extend to all parts of creation, he himself is present everywhere. Together they define God’s lordship, and they provide us a rich understanding of creation, providence, and salvation.

Greater understanding of God always begins with obedience.

The following scripture was listed on today’s dailylightdevotional.org., again, such an inspiration.

“And being not weak in faith, [Abraham] considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sarah’s womb; he staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God. And being fully persuaded that, what He had promised, He was also able to perform.” Rom. 4:19-21 KJV

The Message version reads:

19. Abraham didn’t focus on his own impotence and say, “It’s hopeless. This hundred-year-old body could never father a child.” Nor did he survey Sarah’s decades of infertility and give up.
20. He didn’t tiptoe around God’s promise asking cautiously skeptical questions. He plunged into the promise and came up strong, ready for God,
21. sure that God would make good on what he had said.

“And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. John 14:3

Little kids love the idea of a special trip. If a favorite uncle promised them a day trip to the zoo, beach, or other long desired destination, they can hardly sleep the night before. On the day, they are up early and dressed long before the appointed hour. Then they stand by a front window waiting for the familiar car to pull in the driveway.

No wonder Jesus said that those entering the kingdom of God ought to enter like children – with the same wide-eyed anticipation of a child being transported from the ordinary to the extraordinary (Matthew 18:3). The Bible says Jesus has promised to come and “pick us up” and take us to a place He is now preparing for us (John 14: 1-3).   

And not for just a day of fun, but for all eternity. The question is, “What is our level of anticipation?” As adults, are we so attached to things of this world that we have lost our sense of anticipation? Get ready! He is coming again to gather those who want to spend an eternal day with Him.

David Jeremiah Destination: Your Journey With God June 12

FYI: Recently while in MA I made a new friend six years younger than I from Colombia S.A. who too was visiting his son and grandchildren in the UMass complex next door to my son and grandson. We really hit it off, he’d gotten his Master’s from Auburn, his PhD in Japan, and spent a lifetime in the science of raising fish for meat commercially, etc.

We explored many bunny trails all leading repeatedly to our shared concern for the fragile state of our world’s well-being, and especially the handicaps the younger generations are now inheriting. We each entered the conversation from our experiential spiritual perspectives, Anabaptist & Catholicism, but the commonality of being bonded in faith and mental community transcended country of origin or education. I personally sensed a real sadness in that we’d likely never meet again, perhaps sorta like those divine seatmate encounters on airplanes, but this time I didn’t have work needing done!

I remember well thinking to myself as I left the encounter, why can’t we just be honest and say, “Well so long for now, but I’ll see you later in heaven, when we can really get acquainted.” Fast forward in time depending on our schedules and God’s, will determine whether we’ll then be concerned about our kids and grand-kids, but at least, he and I will be ultimately restored!

Ever since that revelation nearly two weeks ago, I’ve been thinking how I’m going to implement that conversational openness when publicly appropriate about we meeting up in eternity, when we’re in our next similar earthly encounter, and are about to part when it is very likely our paths will never ever cross again. And just why is this?

Why are we so crazily inhibited about publicly referencing professionally our eternal home? Just think about how much of our yak time is driven by trivia, perhaps significant at the moment of impact, if your AC or car just died, or your dog had to be put down, etc.. but really now, note how easily we are effectively shut down and rendered totally ineffective.

Yes indeed, I agree, life does happens! But still, where is our eagerness like a child as expressed above? Get the picture? Remember when you as a child had a trip the next day and you couldn’t sleep? I suggest we all go lay out in the grass like I remember doing once as a first grader during summer vacation contemplating how I was ever going to survive until school started again, but then, miraculously my legs finally reached the tractor’s clutch and brake pedals, and I never again lacked for engaging opportunities! I remember while looking up yonder back then, either watching those MN cumulus clouds by day, or at night, the stars, and now, I’m trying to remember what I was thinking back then and what was going on in the world. I well remember while getting ready for church Sunday morning Oct 6 1957 hearing on Christian radio that the Sputnik mission was successful, but that was 28 months after I was first deemed fit to drive the tractor.

Now if getting into this heaven frame of mind doesn’t come easy or natural, I highly recommend “Imagine Heaven” by John Burke, formerly an agnostic engineer whom God repurposed to prime the flow of our understanding and appreciation for heaven.  I’ve mentioned that book frequently prior. Sorta reminds me when as a kid I primed the pump outside the one room schoolhouse to secure a vibrant flow of water, but you might not get that either.

Bottom Line: First, we gotta get in the flow! Utmost For His Highest today tells us “The one true mark of a saint of God is the inner creativity that flows from being totally surrendered to Jesus Christ. In the life of a saint there is this amazing Well, which is a continual source of original life. The Spirit of God is a well that is springing up perpetually fresh. A saint realizes that it is God who engineers his circumstances; consequently, there are no complaints, only unrestrained surrender to Jesus.

(And this is so key-perhaps even today’s second bottom line):

Never try to make your experience a principle for others, but allow God to be as creative and original with others as He has been with you!!!” Go For It, No excuses!