Early AM May 5, 1967

So, can I presume you all have gone to sleep at least once while driving? I really doubt if any of you have struggled with staying awake while driving more than I. There were periods of my existence when I literally fell asleep weekly if not daily while driving.

The first instance I can recall now of such an all out struggle to stay awake occurred on my ‘62 Honda Dream 300 when I was 18. I was driving through the early morning hours from York NB to make an 8 am Botany exam at Hesston College. For now, never mind why I was out there in the middle of the night in the first place as that indeed may be another story.

Driving conditions that early morning on the infamous TX to Canada US Rt 81 were simply superb; wind still, 55 degrees, and a glistening heavy dew that had fallen much earlier though shining brightly now in the bright moonlight. I had passed over the Kansas line, guessing it to be around 2 am since I didn’t wear a watch back then. By then, I’d been up 20 hours after pretty much pulling an all-nighter the night prior, waxing floors on campus translating into less than three hours in the last 48. Exhaustion was really taking its toll as I headed next for Salina. Truck traffic was light that morning on that old two lane concrete ribbon stretching south through the patches of fog in the lower areas that were predictably several degrees cooler, and easily detectable as I was without either a windshield or a fairing for protection.

It was indeed a beautiful early morning to be traveling under the stars, but now I was really tired, and could only think of getting back to campus, a shower and a few hours of sleep before the exam. Fortunately for me ,I was riding without a backrest to lean against, such as a backpack, so I was not able to relax and get comfortable or likely my struggle to stay awake,would have been far more difficult. You would think just fighting the wind resistance in your face at the bikes cruising speed of 62-65 MPH would have provided the necessary impetus to stay awake.

I kept thinking of warmer and more restful experiences in my younger days as a teen in Becker County MN, such as coming in from working in the woods with Dad on a Saturday afternoon when the temp was thirty below zero with a 15-20 mph NW wind and you began shedding all those ice crusted layers to sit on a kitchen chair that I had moved to the center of the 36 inch square floor register ducted from big wood stove in the basement immediately below. Basking in that 80 plus temp, I soon warmed up and then slid over to a nearby couch for a luxurious nap before being rudely wakened and reminded it was time to begin the afternoon chores. At least the barn was insulated from above, by a mow still half filled with sweet smelling alfalfa hay and the 8 inch sidewalls were filled with wood shavings mixed with lime to discourage the mice from seeking warmth ‘there and performing their usual mischief. Exhaust fans kept the barn’s temp around 38-40 degrees and removed some of the offensive humidity and odors. Understand being raised on a MN dairy farm surrounded by more rocks than rich soil and where cold and physical exhaustion are literally your mortal enemies, I early in life learned outdoor work, whether caring for the cattle or in the woods, provided me an intense appreciation for warmth and naps, and preferably, simultaneously!

Considering my great disdain for cold, I wonder now how I ever developed such a passion for motorcycles as a teen, especially considering my cycle was my only purchased mode of transportation the last 17 months in MN before leaving for college in KS. I have many memories of being very cold traveling on my three Honda’s during my younger days. In that fact, I’m sure I’m not alone, considering the US motorcycle craze that began in the mid-sixties with the widespread marketing of the extremely reliable and affordable Japanese bikes. Strange how those Japanese bikes in the sixties evidently replaced the dime store toys from Japan I had found as a child in stores such as Woolworth’s where my Aunt Ruby worked during the fifties. Carry that a step further into the seventies and Honda very successfully broadened their US manufacturing presence into automobiles, especially with the introduction of the Civic early on so popularized by such as Rick Case Honda in NE OH in the early seventies. By ’77, Honda introduced the Accord loaded with options for a mere $3995 soon joined by if not even led by Toyota, Datsun, Mazda, etc. Who would have ever thought the cheap toys of the fifties would be replaced by quality cycles and then cars? Quite unlike the quick demise of the Yugo from eastern Europe! I wonder why? An interesting topic indeed for another day since I have a little experience in the economies of four of the former Yugoslavian countries since 2008 having traveled there on business eight times.

But exposure to the elements five decades later are no longer necessary and certainly not as trendy. US sales of motorcycles continue to plummet each decade as the younger generation now is attracted to the  abundance of creature comforts including heating AND cooling (even available in the seats), not to mention the sounds (satellite radio, elaborate stereo sound, phones, bluetooth), the sights (video players, cameras), safety features( (airbags & warnings galore!). The gas mileage available today is phenomenal; hybrids such as my Prius, can comfortably transport four larger passenger and get nearly 50 MPG whereas my two passenger Honda 300 was lucky to see 40 MPG and much less with a head wind, especially if the passengers weight equaled 300 pounds.

Sales of motorcycles today are primarily only to the hardcore enthusiasts, or the weekend warrior, who only takes his cherished bike out of the garage if the weather is ideal; dry and warm! Indeed, our culture has changed! Consider how dragging main in the sixties has been replaced now by cruising the internet on smart phones and tablets. Indeed, today creature comforts are nearly considered a right, not merely a luxury!

By now you are indeed wondering if I really did make Dan Troyers 8 am Botany test? I certainly could not have envisioned what I just shared above since I was not into science fiction during high school at all! But you must realize, diminishing your mental and visual acuity on a motorcycle at 65 MPH can be much harder to correct than when up and moving on 4 wheels with a steering wheel. Also, being warm and dry really helps. The exception to that scenario is if your only escape route is dead ahead and only 36 inches wide!

Perhaps you don’t physically nod off or snap your neck, as during class, at church, or while at the in-laws after Sunday dinner, but whether on a bike or in a car, your eyes may glaze over and presto, you drift out of your lane. And all the while, hearing the engine, feeling the air in your face, the vibrations both in your hands and feet, never forgetting the ever present bladder that needed emptying 50 miles ago. Now being so painfully full you are thinking that the discomfort may just help keep you awake …  when actually, if you were scared sufficiently, you will then become BOTH wet AND cold!

Understand, I do not fully equate falling asleep (whether nodding off or snapping your neck) while driving, in the same realm as having your eyes glaze over though their outcomes can be equally tragic. Hopefully for both your longevity and your family, you do not have a clue of what I just described in the above paragraph. I maintain the “glazing over of the eyes” condition provides you a fighting chance depending on your millisecond response to abnormal stimuli such as a change in pavement texture providing you both touch and sound variation that a trained “glazer” will aptly assimilate and respond to both timely and appropriately. Fortunately, the rumble strips now found frequently on interstate roads as well as on some two lane state routes, not only on the sides but also on the center lines, will undoubtedly prevent many future accidents by both “glazers” and “nodders”

Secretly, I hope I never have to depend on a computer driven car, though everyone who knows my driving record of late, is apt to quip that such would be an improvement! I remember so vividly a full page magazine advertisement (but not in the smaller Readers Digest format) in either ’59 or ’60 displaying two couples in a convertible going down the highway ( I think 4 lane) with the top down and the seats facing each other surrounding a little table in the center, with, I believe a board game in process. No one was steering and the traffic was flowing around them. It was a pencil drawing, and the car resembled a full size ’59 Buick, with its unique fins. I do not remember the ad’s intent or even who sponsored it….but since the only magazines I recall in our home in that era were either Successful Farming or the Farm Journal, I am totally confused as to why it may have even appeared in a farming magazine. I remember viewing that sketch frequently in that time frame of my life and thinking how unlikely that was ever to occur… but no longer! I even recall the ladies had scarves to keep their hair in check from the turbulence.

Isn’t it ironic now that the bigger problems remaining to be solved in this 60 year old glimpse into the future, has not really changed much since the Renaissance? We have yet to overcome or fully explain the effects of gravity on the board game and the drinks in the open air of the convertible at 60 MPH not to mention keeping inertia or the air turbulence in check. Maintaining safe passage in intestate traffic at 60 MPH in a driver-less car I understand now has been virtually accomplished though not yet affordable or even desirable by or for the masses.

Back to our original reality of getting back to campus for that 8 am Botany test. Yes, I was “glazing” big time. Yes, I was simply exhausted, totally spent. And I knew I was weaving in my lane that was only 11 or 12 feet wide max. I tried to concentrate on the Botany test; vocab words, photosynthesis, chlorophyll etc. No avail! I tried thinking about how it was going to be without a cycle for the immediate future as I was taking it back to sell it to Emil Yoder’s son Royce who was best friends with our campus pastor’s  eldest son, who was killed several months later during the summer of ’67 in a freak one car accident coming home for lunch on a Harvey county dirt/gravel road.

You would presume a cycle enthusiast like me even thinking about selling my bike to help pay next year’s tuition, would waken me up a bit but not so! Even recalling my good high school friend Butch slamming his new Honda CB 160 into the side of a Chevy Corvair with a canoe on top, that suddenly turned in front of him killing him instantly that Sunday evening in early May of ’65, didn’t help. I did begin thinking though how hard Butch’s death was on my folks that spring, since I had just gotten my cycle 5 weeks earlier. But now it was two years later, three AM on May 5 of 1967, and I am here in northern Kansas struggling big time for my very survival, just to merely stay awake, not fully comprehending at all in my youthfulness then, just how quickly my life could be cut so tragically short by merely drifting inches to either the left, and get clipped by a tractor trailer rig bumper like a bug on its windshield; or by drifting inches to the right, to clip one of those concrete bridges Old Rt 81 was so famous for, and in those days, of course, there were no guard rails before the bridge to guide a lane wanderer like me away from a fatal impact. 

My guess is though, at whatever age we find ourselves just now, that we all have experienced the intricacies, “fragilities”, and the “finalities” of life, whether by our actions or by those of others. It especially evident now as we look into the rear view mirror of our lives, and at my age now of 69, we seldom if ever cannot say we were very blessed to have enjoyed our years to date; mercy in the fact we didn’t get from life what we really deserved, and grace in the fact we did actually receive far more from life than we ever deserved!

And yes, I did drive onto campus soon after 5 am rejuvenated by the night’s ride and the brilliant sunrise on my left over the slightly wavering glistening maturing wheat fields, and lastly over the rows of Hesston Corp’s newly manufactured cotton pickers in the storage lo on my left, ready for transport. After a luxurious shower and a quick nap to recharge my system, I took the test and even got an A in the course. Later that day I delivered the cycle to Royce, and even better, the next day paid down my next year’s college bill with the $300 leaving only $1230 yet to pay!

Truth be told, I had bought the bike from a Delvin Schlabaugh of Wolford ND who purchased it in Sarasota FL and I rather doubt if he drove it all the way to ND. It had 3000 miles when I purchased it for $350. and had nearly 18000 miles on it when I sold it to Royce for I believe $300. Cheap miles back then certainly, but now as a parent, when I consider the risks, I was most fortunate to have endured my teenage follies.

Several weeks later after my math final, at 2:30 pm and a sizzling temp of nearly 100 degrees, I walked off campus up to the pharmacy at the intersection of Rt 81 and Main. Would you believe I was dressed in a shirt and tie, with a sign marked “Fargo ND”, ready to hitch hike back up north on the very same road I had so struggled to stay awake on only three weeks prior. Would you believe that with two short rides and one lasting thru the night requiring me to do most of the driving, I arrived in Fargo by 8 AM. the next morning! And actually, I had even a harder time staying awake that night! And those three rides during that 17 hour span, dear reader, will perhaps provide the foundation of another real life encounter, for as I recall….

Blessings!

“The Absent One”

Hi Merlin

I wonder if you knew that your paternal Grandmother Lena was a writer and that she had at least one of those writings published in the Gospel Herald.She also wrote poetry and I am including one of those poems here that touches me. I read it as we sat down to our Thanksgiving meal last week …. Remembering Elaine.

The Absent One    by Lena Oswald Erb  (9/24/1890 — 3/2/1980)

As we gather at the table

                And watch each smiling face,

Our hearts fill with emotion

                To see the vacant place.

We may strive to hide our longing

                In the midst of mirth and fun,

But we’re thinking, thinking, thinking

                Of our loved but absent one.

When we gather round the fireside

                With merry laugh and jest,

How we wish the absent dear one

                Were here with all the rest:

Still we join in all the frolics

                But we wish the day were done,

For we’re thinking, thinking, thinking

                Of our loved but absent one.

Yet when the day is over

                And we all have gone to rest,

We feel the heavenly Father

                Does all things for the best;

So we cheer our drooping spirits

                With the rising of the sun,

But we can’t help thinking, thinking, thinking

                Of our loved but absent one.

Perhaps you are familiar with this writing of Grandmas. I don’t know of the loss she writes of here, but she really strikes a cord with me. I do love the rhythm. How sweet it would be to talk with her but her words allow me to relate to her today. What a gift!

Cousin Loretta

 No, Loretta, I had never heard of this prior. And to think, Grandmother Lena lived in 2 rooms of our home my last several years of high school and even beyond. I now am deeply sadden how my self-centeredness back then, prevented me from sitting down with her and discovering this creative avenue in her full life. I do wonder if she could have written “The Absent One” after the unexpected death on 10/29/1919, of their fourth child, Mona, age 17 months, while yet on the share cropper farm near Beemer NB, prior to moving to their own their farm near Detroit Lakes MN in 1943. Thank You Loretta for sharing.

Merlin

Greetings All of You Possible Blog Readers!

Today is Memorial Day 2024. I’ve been exploring this morning the WordPress software, what drives this blog. I just came across a Welcome Letter I drafted back in November 2018 to be sent to new subscribers that I don’t recall though I ever sent anyone. But that doesn’t carry much weight with me anymore as Loretta can attest. If you pick up on the clues I’m sending out , such as going to the gym now frequently, reading and listening profusely, writing continually, taking more time to communicate, even looking up persons of influence in my past, you may make some credible deductions about my State of My Union, or Of my Body. That’s exactly why I avoid mirrors and cameras, which was much easier before phones became human appendages. Doesn’t Mark Twain have an aging quote?

Just a minute ago I discovered this letter was indeed sent out at 11:21 pm 11/24/18, minutes before I turned 70, as my very first now of 312 blog posts. Until just recently, they were mostly just weekly. Shocker! No incriminating comments from me. Don’t you know what you say, even think, is what you get? Haven’t you read or ever listened to Carolyn Leaf’s writings or talks? Profound stuff!

For example, most notable thus far of these memorable renewals, which is a list I’m making, was writing my HS English & Speech teacher, always in heels, dressed to the gills, and yet, a Harley rider and the only sympathetic teacher to my only mode of transportation back then (most of the other teachers thought we were budding Hell’s Angels) in’65 when I bought my first bike, a ’62 Honda 300 and drove it 11 miles to school on dry days, even if temps were in the lower 20’s. I even wrote her a letter in the last five years on her 100th birthday, to which she even responded, thanking my sister Verla when she went thru her party’s congratulatory line. Mrs. Bruins lived well til 102.

Enough peripheral introductions. Here is the post.

Entering this world of a creating a blog may be a small step for many of you, but for me, on the day before I turn 70, it is a major undertaking! I basically withdrew from the technology race when my eldest son Ben was in middle school and was totally enamored with computers. He became my expert and I moved onto other tasks in my business and in 2001 when he transferred to UC, I was in trouble and even though I had been courting a sale prior, I did spin off that component of our business within months rather than attempting to catch up.

However, back to the blog, it’s not like I haven’t thought about doing this for several years. The event that finally forced me out of my boat so to speak, and it  happened on land none the less, was the auto accident I caused at 9 pm September 18, 2018 in front of a friend’s house near Cochran St and Rt 30, the first street east of the Dairette. The split second I saw my Prius hood shoot straight up and felt the crash, I knew my life would never be the same again. And indeed, it wasn’t. Yes, I was still here and that was good, but I’d been ready to go home for some time, and actually, more ready than I even originally thought. But now, I also was instantly retired, but at least alive.

And that was good too, because I’d spent years thinking just how would I tell my 20 clients I was finished. So that all sounds like a double win! Right? But honestly, several days later, would you believe I really seriously thought maybe I would have been better off just having gone on home-home? What a difference a day can make! Especially when tempered with severe pain, a massive dose of obnoxious reality, and perhaps an inordinate amount of time to think and reflect on the pain I had just inflicted again on my wife for not just a few weeks but likely for 5 or 6 months! I should also include the guy that was forced to hit me, and even Larry, my likely frustrated insurance agent.    

And you have absolutely no idea how far-reaching the ripples from that crash are still ever expanding into the nooks and crannies of the crudely constructed edifice of an abode (my temple of sorts) that I, Merlin L Erb, have slapped together (figuratively speaking of course as I much prefer working with words rather than lumber) since I first frightfully squalled on Thanksgiving Day 1948. And a few of you were actually there at Grandma Erbs (whether you remember it or not, speaking to my cousins now) that day for dinner when Stella Mae Gingerich Erb was noticeably absent from the table and instead, was resting at St Mary’s Hospital in Detroit Lakes, MN with her first born.

And so in summary, this blog will be my attempt at sharing not only the ripples since 9/18/18, but indeed the tremors and  even a few shock waves I’ve witnessed in my 69 years of life. OK, can we just be real honest here and I’ll admit my guilt in both the tremors and shock waves. I was not merely witnessing; often I was indeed the cause! Some posts may make you smile and recall similar events in your life, while others portray an absolute train wreck! But all are presented as I best recall and hopefully, not to merely entertain you, but to challenge you to get out of your boat and give others in your sphere of influence, their much needed hope to keep “going til they’re gone” as well, and of course, without nearly the drama I put into play on 9/18/18.

I really do enjoy communication, both written and spoken. Had I known it was a major available when I was in college, there is no question what I would have chosen it, especially after Mrs. Brun’s impact on my life thru her high school speech class in my senior year. As I recall, by the time I graduated in ’73, Communications had been added as a major at Moorhead State College. And since I seldom speak publicly, I now resort to writing and more than anything, I find it good therapy for an aging mind.

The big drawback I’m currently experiencing is this compelling desire to share, but with whom? I’m quickly tiring, as are they no doubt, of me intruding on my friends, family and acquaintances by emailing them my latest revised documents. I understand a blog functions more the way we provided salt and trace minerals to our cattle when I  was a boy. We simply placed it on the bunk in a box and they consumed it “free-choice” whenever they felt the “urge”, and it’s not like I ever communicated with any one or group of those Holsteins, as to when they felt or didn’t feel that urge, but it did work! We always had healthy animals! I really do like the term “free-choice of His GRACE” and I have it on very high authority, that “free-choice” rules, and by that I mean, it always has, and always will. I trust in a literary sense, it will for me here too …. And for you as well!

Three days ago I read a book by Gary Miller, who writes frequently for such as CAM, Christian Aid Ministries in Berlin OH, and the strikingly refreshing & worthy Plain Communities Business Exchange (PCBE), titled “Going Till You’re Gone” (GTYG) that speaks truth and says it far better than I. Fact is, if given my druthers, I’d encourage you to read that first. Trust me on this, for I know you’re not all ready for GTYG, especially since it was specifically written for the over 50 crowd, but don’t worry, you’ll all catch up soon enough, and actually, for some of you, you may need an early start just to get here on time. Why else do you think I’ve been so  majorly inconvenienced three times in 30 months? Not merely because I’m a stubborn or a really slow learner, surely? (update here 5/27/24: I suffered, no actually witnessed, several more close encounters including a triple by-pass in July ’20 which was like going for a hair cut compared to the 12 breaks in my legs below my knees on 9/18/18 and then in ’22, hospitalized again with a serious knee infection. All being God’s inconveniences to get me on the potter’s wheel to mold me into His image…)

Blessings as you ponder God’s continual grace and mercy to all of us.