So just where do I begin to explain my absence from merlinsmustache.com since April 12 when you last received an email announcing a new post?
Basically, I was convinced then that for me to continue writing in the veins as I was earlier, was no longer a priority as the national and world events were so rapidly unfolding. Rather, Loretta and I decided we were to become much more intentional in our efforts to prepare for our immediate future on many fronts; and since it was spring, gardening took center stage more than ever prior. It has been richly rewarding though we do have much work ahead of us.
In addition to gardening, I felt compelled to prepare three years of firewood for our outside wood burner as I was questioning whether it would be a good idea for me to be in the woods much after this summer with my chain saws, especially with the dangerous dead ash trees frequently dropping limbs unannounced if their trunks were disturbed by a chainsaw, my saw not being exempt! Never prior had I prayed so earnestly for His protection when about to drop a tree. I told someone recently that when I go the woods with a 8 inch hand mirror in my tool bucket with wedges and wrenches, just to see more easily what is “up there” because of being so stooped, it is past time to stop dropping trees.
And then there was the “gentle, or the not so gentle, inner gnawing” prompting us to prepare for this uncertain future which is likely subconsciously unsettling. We increasingly realized we were living very dependent on other people, fixed conditions and supplies that may well no longer be available in the manner my generation and younger, have so taken for granted during our lifetimes. Those born in the ‘20’s and living through the Great Depression certainly have the advantage here. We began examining where we were vulnerable, whether for power and energy, general supplies and repairs, water, seeds, and staples. Fortunately, we have been considering some of these issues since we first remodeled in ’93 and during the addition in ’02, as well as the purpose of purchases since.
Fortunately, the You Tube how-to videos have proven invaluable for jump starting our learning curves in getting up to speed on virtually every front. I keep wondering how we would ever make it if the internet and cell phones go down! FYI, after buying many books on Kindle in recent years, I now am purchasing hard copy of those books I prefer to absolutely not be without in my work. Kindle books have so many unique advantages BUT if they are ever unavailable, an important book on the shelf will be priceless. Somewhat comparable to memorized scripture.
Now, to take all the above to new level, or the “new uncertain normal”, imagine you have examined your lifestyle with its strengths and weaknesses, and you are accomplishing the goals you have identified when one of you (I’m speaking of a married couple such as Loretta and myself, but I’m also thinking of so many other couples in our church family as I write this) are suddenly permanently removed or severely disabled cancelling out all plans. And that is exactly where Loretta and I are situated rather uniquely this very evening. But but first, a gardening story before I explain further.
Back in April, I wanted to plow up our two acre previously ignored field to plant potatoes, partially just because now I could. Truthfully, I wanted to do something more creative with it than merely bush hog it. Inaccessible now to the big equipment used by my neighbors, and because last fall I acquired my father’s first new tractor, a small MF 35 purchased in ’61 when I was 13. Dad sold it 28 years ago to a neighbor who sold it again 10 years ago to a person who knew we wanted it back. When the last owner desired more bells and whistles, he offered it to me last fall for merely $750 more than Dad paid originally. So this spring I was really hankering to try it out and since a neighbor to the west loaned me a plow and a neighbor to the east loaned me a disk, I was in business.
Only problem was I am now so far removed from the practicalities of agriculture, would you believe I initially wanted to plow up the entire two acre field and plant potatoes but my wise master gardener friend Jon F suggested I only attempt a quarter acre of spuds this year. So I complied. And then to make sure I might at least get my seed back, he came over with his father’s homemade tractor and helped me plant my 200 pounds of seed. And very soon I realized just how much I appreciated his advice to keep the patch small.
Actually the spuds are doing well, in bloom and appears now we just may get more than our seed back. Part of our thinking with the spuds may be termed stewardship. I believe we each need to invest our resources creatively as we are enabled. Truthfully, merely paying taxes to look at productive land with 5-6 earthworms in each spade of dirt that needs to mowed is a huge waste. And with food shortages predicted, potatoes may be in demand so we are thinking we will offer them for free for picking them up after the digger to friends and family in need of them this winter. It certainly does not pay the taxes yet but it is a start. We are hoping that walking by faith through this small door may open more service opportunities and accrued wisdom. I share this story because I believe it lends credibility to the tension within the hearts and minds of believers today during these “devastating media consumptive” days as we all struggle to seek meaningful spiritual and relational relevance.
It was during gardening and in the woods this spring that I became aware of a fullness in my chest that caused me to sit down a minute or two to rest; I had no pain, no discomfort, no shortness of breath, etc.; just an awareness I really knew I needed to rest and so I would. After all, I am retired and though I always have plans, seldom am I tightly scheduled. Eventually I told Loretta and later called my doctor and got an appointment that I later needed to cancel and the rescheduling pushed me out to July. Several days later during prayer time seeking my days priorities, I felt compelled to call in and place my name on the call list if they had cancellations. And sure enough, my doctor had just had a cancellation the next day so I took it and explained my “chest-fullness.” Examining the EKG, he promptly scheduled an echo stress test at Wooster Community on June 30 at 1:30 PM that I flunked miserably. I thought I was doing quite well but what they saw on their screens brought Dr Moodispaw running and soon saying he wanted to admit me immediately. I begged him to let me go home for the evening to finish up the month end reports for my major client and he agreed provided I did nothing except desk work. Mission accomplished!
True to my promise, we returned for my heart cath at 7AM July 1. The experience was amazing as many of you can likely attest. However, Dr Moodinspaw soon confirmed his suspicions that my condition was indeed the “widow-maker (WM).” I faintly recall having heard the term prior somewhere, when suddenly with the force of a runaway Mack truck, the term WM was now my personal property and the taxes were past due. WM was clearly about to dictate the remainder of this year for Loretta and I, were we so fortunate to escape its clutches until my open heart surgery could be performed. This time there was no returning home to pack prior to being transferred to Aultman; Room 217 was secured and Dr. David Brown was expecting me as initially there was talk the surgery may even be done yet that afternoon. By noon, I was being driven east on Rt 30 where I viewed P Graham Dunn, the Haasz Automall and the Dairette through the rear window of a rough riding ambulance contemplating once again the fragility of my life and why against all odds, I have to date survived. It was only 77 days less than 2 years that I had my 9/18/18 life changing accident on Rt 30 at S Cochran St. I took a picture this time as I uneventfully passed over the hallowed ground where I was perhaps less than five feet from death.
Such events during my life have caused me considerable introspection and duress because I have the tendency to ask God “Why is my life continually being spared? For what purpose?” Why are we frequently so negative rather than rejoicing after such profound miracles? Sometimes I believe I create more dissonance than actual deliverance. Can anyone else relate to this? I really do not believe we as believers comprehend the depth of the deception that has have been “seeded” into our psyche this year covertly designed to undermine our faith! Personally, I have learned I must continually be seeking and sharing His guidance by reading and listening multiple times daily when possible from wisdom books beginning first with such as perhaps the One Year Bible, “Utmost for His Highest” and the multitude of resources available as never prior in history clearly detailing the birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ for our salvation with focus and clarity.
And so this afternoon Loretta and I were told by the surgeon the surgery is scheduled for Tuesday July 7 at 1:30 depending….. Tomorrow I shall wash up (no showers as I’m not allowed to interfere with the heart monitor process) and put on civilian clothes and enjoy 4.5 days of making new friends among other patients and staff in this 5 star hotel without a pool which I couldn’t use anyway. Soon my activity will be limited to lifting no more than a gallon of milk and not twisting turning or straining appreciably (as if I could endure the pain to even try) for at least six weeks (Aug 25) to be followed by three months of cardio rehab (Nov 25).
We all understand how one big event during a normal day, as experienced by me and many of you, has forever changed our life’s trajectory. But much more significant than one major event such as even death, is that I’m convinced we are not comprehending at all how the narrative being prepared for decades is now being implemented undetectably upon us daily; virtually continually in small sound bytes through our media literally from everywhere.
This morning I read from “Heavens Declare” Day 65 and I hope this encourages you as it did me and I quote “You are living a destiny-driven life instead of a desolation-driven life….. (Wow, isn’t that truth?) I have created you to produce and to become a reproducer of reproducers. (again, Matt 28:19 says “make disciples,” not merely converts. Review the parable of the sower!) There is a seed of multiplication that I have placed within you to bring about a plentiful harvest. (now this is the type of gardening that really excites me!) Your survival is based on the seed of creativity and life placed within you. What you desire is lodged in the fiber of your bones. I desire to unlock the hidden potential that will birth a wealth of ideas, concepts, and thoughts that will pave the way for personal breakthroughs in your life.”(You really need to read that last sentence several times. Unfortunately, the above truth’s are so foreign to and beyond our culture’s comprehension, they are usually considered to be total foolishness.)
I also offer you these passages from Proverbs for your comfort and consolation. First from 3: 7-8 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh, and strength to your bones. V 25: Do not be afraid of sudden terror, nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes; For the Lord will be your confidence… V 31-35 Do not envy the oppressor, and choose none of his ways; For the perverse person is an abomination to the Lord, but His secrete counsel is with the upright. The curse of the Lord is on the house of the wicked , but He blesses the home of the just. Surely He scorns the scornful, but gives grace to the humble. The wise shall inherit glory, but shame shall be the legacy of fools. Proverbs 4: 20-23 My son, give attention to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart; For they are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh. Keep your heart with all diligence , for out of it spring the issues of life. (The Message paraphrases the latter as: “That’s where life starts.”)
Do you desire greater clarity and focus about where life starts? I challenge you to read the Gospel of John soon. Also, slowly read and reflect on a chapter from Proverbs each day for several months since Proverbs contains 31 chapters, one for each day.
If you are seeking greater clarity and focus for investing your interests, time, talents, and resources, I suggest you browse my coaching website at www:breakfreeenterprises.net, especially the Home and About pages and if that proves interesting, you may enjoy reading the blog titled “Why as a Believer I Encourage Life Coaching.”
Blessings as you go forth in these CERTAINLY uncertain TIMES.. Personally, I prefer living a DESTINY-DRIVEN life rather than being a DESOLATION-DRIVEN DISASTER! How about you?>>>>>merlin….