On October 7, I introduced you to Christian Moore’s “Resilience Break-Through” and this evening I just finished it. Continuing in the vein of “flipping-the-switch” I’ve chosen to share his electronic device assessment for this post. The following is verbatim from his book beginning on page 84.
“I’ve put together a short self-assessment to help determine whether your own use of electronics devices, (or as I like to call them, ED‘s) is having a negative impact on your emotional intimacy – in other words, whether you have electronic device disorder (EDD).
To get a better sense of how important your EDs are to you, give yourself one point for each statement that describes you and then read the recommendations for your score. (Remember: the assessment is only valuable as long as you are willing to be honest and do your best to avoid self-deception. You might want to consider asking someone who knows you well enough to answer on your behalf to give you a more complete and accurate perspective.) If you find that even just one or two of these questions describes your use of EDs, you may need to make a conscious effort to connect more with actual people and limit the amount of time you spend electronically connected. I know this is easier said than done, but it is absolutely vital to a healthy relationship.
+When spending time with other people, I can’t help occasionally pulling out my ED and checking it for updates.
+The information I obtain on my ED is more relevant to me then the information I am receiving from people in front of me.
+I can’t sit through an entire movie, game, or other event without checking my ED.
+The first thing I do in the morning or the last thing I do at night is look at my ED.
+When driving, I have a strong desire to reach for my ED.
+I can’t attend a family event without using my ED.
+I can closely predict the remaining battery life on my portable ED.
+The frequency with which I check email is much greater than the actual number of emails received.
+When I don’t access social media, I feel disconnected or frustrated.
+I communicate with more people through my ED than I do in person.
+People close to me have complained about the amount of time I spend on my ED.
+I feel anxious if I leave my ED at home or am ever away from it.
+I always know where my ED is.
+I feel a surge of excitement when I receive notifications on my ED.
How to interpret your score
You should have one point for each of the statements in the list that describes you.
1-2 points: You’ve got it under control. You are in the safe zone. If you can maintain the balance you currently have between the real world and technology, you’ll never be at risk of electronic-device disorder (EDD).
3-4 points: You have symptoms. You like your ED, but you’re not nearly as hooked as a majority of the population, and use your ED primarily for communication and a little bit for entertainment. Be careful not to get hooked on too many ED features that can slowly detach you from the people around you.
5-6 points: You are mildly disordered. In my observation, most people fit in this category. You love your ED, and without realizing it, you may be disengaging from others. Your family and close friends are probably the most aware of your EDD when they’re trying to make conversation or get your attention. Try putting your ED in another room for a few hours a day and really focusing in on your loved ones, others significant relationships, or a worthwhile hobby.
7-8 points: Electronic-device disorder has fully kicked in. If you score this high you’re in the danger zone! Pick one night a week to turn off your ED and focus instead on your family, friends, or a worthwhile interest. Gradually increase the number of nights a week you do this until your EDD score is between 1 and 3.
9 or more: EDD rehab is in your future. This is a severe case! Your life would literally cease to function if you were deprived of your ED, and that means you’re shutting yourself out of relationships and endeavors that matter most. Turn off your phone when you are driving, in a meeting, or eating a meal with someone you care about. Once you’re able to do this without experiencing anxiety, start turning it off one night a week, gradually increasing the number of nights a week you do this until your EDD score is between one and three.
Note: You may be tempted to give this assessment to someone you think needs it. Be careful, as this could make someone defensive without more context.
What message are you sending?
If you were a parent and this is something you struggle with, you might want to give your kids permission to ask you, “Mom/Dad, is what you’re doing on your phone right now more important than paying attention to me?” when they feel ignored or frustrated by your EDD. It’s also good to be aware that our kids themselves are growing up addicted to and overstimulated by these devices. We may one day feel rejected as our kids choose electronic devices over us, and at the same time we may be contributing to their addiction if we don’t give them guidelines and rules about their usage. Remember that song from the ‘70s, “Cats in the Cradle“? It was a popular song about a dad who didn’t have time for his son, and then the son grows up and doesn’t have time for his old and lonely dad. That may be us one day, recognizing the sad irony as the next generation grows up to be just like us – too plugged in to connect.”
The above is quite revealing and disturbing to me, and of course, my ego wants to snap back with “I’m the exception because of …..but my weaker maturity kicks in with “yeah, yeah, YOU always think YOU are the exception when actually you are not because….!!
Blessings as YOU GO FORTH TODAY FULLY “CONNECTING FOR REAL” … WHILE REMAINING SUFFICIENTLY “ED- DISCONNECTED” TO BE REAL!!! merlin