Christian Moore is a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) and founder of the WhyTry Program, resilience education curriculum for youth.
Coming from a blended family of twelve children, Christian spent most of his childhood years on the streets. In a neighborhood just outside of Washington DC, he was exposed to a wide array of social problems, which opened his eyes to the many injustices that exist in our world today. These experiences, combined with severe learning disabilities and an inner-city volunteer experience as a youth, all contributed to Christian’s eventual decision to become a social worker and help others who struggle with similar challenges. After fighting his way to receiving a master of social work (MSW) and working in education, corrections, and a homeless program, Christian recognized the need for a new approach and created WhyTry.
Thousands of school districts across the US have had Christian consult on how to increase resilience, lower dropout, improve school climate, prevent bullying, lower the achievement gap, and improve academics through teaching social and emotional education to all students.
Christian lives in the Rocky Mountains with his wife, Wendy, and their two sons, carson and Cooper.
I have selected the following paragraphs to introduce you to Christian’s Flip the Switch concept that builds resilience.
Resilience is the ability to endure pain, to press on, even if you’re not winning. The ability to show up, to keep going, or even to just continue to go through the motions while you’re dealing with failure, depression, anxiety, hopelessness, addiction, legal problems, an abusive spouse, unemployment, a terminal illness – the list of struggles that are part of the human condition is endless – creates dignity. It creates self-respect. There is an honor in pressing through even the worst of circumstances. Pain channeled in a positive direction is the greatest thing that can happen to you.
Because of the
vastness of the human experience, we all process pain differently with varying
levels of ability, and we must have great compassion for others and not judge
someone who appears less resilient. However, resilience is what makes a difference
between those who succumb to problems and those who fight through them. In each
of those scenarios, one person got caught in the self-pity and blaming, becoming
a victim and shutting down. The other person, however was resilient. They were
able to say to themselves, I’m going to use this difficult situation as fuel
to try harder.
I call this “Flipping the Switch.“ When you Flip the Switch, you stop for a
moment, realize that you can turn your pain into power, move forward, committed
to being resilient. Let’s look closer at the powerful edge that Flipping the Switch
can give you.
How an Inmate can have an advantage over a
Harvard grad
I’ve taught the concept of Flipping the Switch in some interesting places.
After speaking to a group of students in an inner-city school, I was approached
by an administrator immediately after my speech and asked if I had time to
speak to a group of juvenile offenders in a local detention center that very
afternoon. I had time before my flight, so I agreed, and they rushed me over to
a lockdown facility full of boys ages 12 to 18 who had committed terrible
crimes, including rape and murder. This was definitely a rough crowd.
Since the decision to have me speak was made last minute, the director of the
facility didn’t have much warning that I was coming. She didn’t know anything
about me or what I was going to be speaking about. These juvenile offenders are
on a highly regimented schedule, and usually I need 20 or 30 minutes to set up
my equipment. The director was obviously agitated, and as I started to get
ready she angrily said, “They’re coming in right now! You don’t have time to
get set up. Do you know who these kids are? What are you going to say to these
boys?” In her defense, she was caught off guard, but it wasn’t hard to hear
what she was really saying. I imagined her looking at me, a short fat, white
guy from upper-middle-class suburbia, and thinking I was way out of my league.
What could I possibly have to say of value to these young men? The offenders – mostly
African-Americans and a few Latinos, started slouching into the room. “Put your
computer away,“ she said. “Go.“ I walked to the front of the room, and she left
the room as I began to speak.
The boys lean back in the chairs, not making eye contact with me. Their body
language said, what you got? and there was a ton of attitude in the
room. They weren’t into it at all. I walked over to the wall and start flipping
the light switch on and off. The room, with only one small window by the door,
went very dark each time I turned off the light. And every time light once
again flooded the room, I saw the boys looking at me like, Are you crazy?
With my finger still on the switch, I said, “I’m about to teach you something,
and if you are able to really understand it, every one of you in this room
could have an advantage over a student at Harvard.” That got the room quiet;
the scraping of chair legs and shuffling of feet stopped. Now I had their
attention.
I explained to them what it means to Flip the Switch – that they had the power
to see their challenges differently and convert their anger into the fuel to be
better. “The only thing that really gives someone in jail an advantage over
someone at Harvard, “I said, “is how quickly they realize that
the switch is there. That Harvard guy, he might not realize it’s there until
he’s 60 years old. Or never. You guys right now are teenagers. Can you imagine
the power of knowing that switch is there when you’re 15 or 16? The switch equals
the awareness that you can use pain, disappointment and tragedy as fuel to
overcome life’s challenges. That you can see your problems as your best friend.
I’m telling you, there are a lot of adults you never knew they had this
capacity. I have family members who have lived on this Earth 80 years and they
never knew they could Flip the Switch. They only saw their problems as a reason
to be angry, upset, feel disrespected, and turn to depression, anxiety, or
hopelessness. These are educated people! And they only saw their pain as a
reason to give up.
“Anybody here ever messed up?“ I asked, scanning the room. “Anybody hear have
any great pain in your life?“ All of those boys raised their hands, and most were
now making full eye contact with me. “You’ve got the fuel! You got the fuel
already in you! You got to use that fuel to become greater. I don’t care where
the fuel came from, whether it’s poverty, abuse, you hurting someone else, your
dad dying, or your mom in prison…. I don’t know where your fuel comes from. But
you got the fuel. Anybody here frustrated?” “Again all hands went up. “Use the
fuel, I’m telling you! If you use the fuel you have an advantage over somebody
at Harvard who doesn’t know how to use the fuel. There are people who run
multimillion dollar corporation‘s or have PhDs that don’t get this. If you
understand how to Flip the Switch, you WILL have the advantage.“
I paced the room trying to look into each of the boys’ faces. They were looking
up now, leaning forward eagerly. I shouted out a challenge; “Every night I want
you to ask yourself, ‘Am I Flipping the Switch?’ When you mess up, are you
giving up or trying to become greater? Because the reality is, everyone messes
up. The most resilient people use the mess as a reason to become greater. Everyone
has nights when they go to bed with fear, frustration, anxiety, and anger. You’ve
got to Flip the Switch, and consciously decide to wake up tomorrow and work as
hard as you can to do the best that you can. You consciously decide to not get
hung up in all the crap. That’s what resilient people do. When you walk out of
here, you can use your pain as fuel to be a better employee, A better son, a
better father. Because of this difficult situation, you’re going to become
greater.”
I explain to them that the reality is, they’re in jail. They are going to sit
there for five, ten years – however long their sentence is. Time is constantly
moving, no matter where they are, and they could spend their time there being
angry and rebellious, or they could work on Flipping the Switch. I told them
that the minute they Flip the Switch, their emotions flip as well, and that if
they do this, previously unforeseen options will eventually open up to them.
Things they might never have dreamed of will come together. Once they were
committed to this course of action, I said, doors would open for them, doors
they didn’t even know existed.
By the end of my speech, those young men were fully engaged. You could’ve heard
a pin drop in that room. Afterward, they stood in line to talk to me. They were
emotional and sincerely thanked me, saying things like “I see the world
different” and asking me questions, hungry for more. They were extremely
respectful, former attitudes and wariness forgotten. It was an intense and
amazing experience for me as I felt their emotional eagerness. They’d come in
rolling their eyes, and they left shaking my hand.
When the director returned, two supervisors who had remained in the back of the
room pulled her over and talked to her. She then came to me, thanked me for
coming, and apologized for being upset earlier. “I misjudged you,“ she said.
“My staff told me this was one of the best speeches they’ve ever heard.“
As a side note, it’s interesting that I had to Flip the Switch during my
interactions with this director. I agreed to volunteer my time and speak to
this group last minute. When she was condescending and rude to me, not allowing
me to set up, my initial reaction was to get angry and defend myself. However,
I knew that the most important thing was for me to have the chance to help
these kids, not to get even with her. With that thought in mind, I was able to Flip
the Switch – to draw upon my anger and convert it into energy for my talk.
My good friend Daniel Gerber suggested I read this book titled “The Resilience Breakthrough: 27 Tools for Turning Adversity into Action” by Christian Moore and a Foreword by Stephen Covey.
The author details on page 34 that once you are aware that the switch exists, you will need the ability to flip it. Follow these steps to do so.
1.) Combat denial and acknowledge that there is a problem. Realize the reality of your pain from where you’re standing. Pain can occur anywhere across a wide spectrum – it could stem from a true crisis or simply a the day-to-day hardships that mow you over. Whether you’re overwhelmed by laundry or loosing your home, accept that the situation is your reality. However, a word of caution here – it’s also important to keep things in perspective. Don’t get bogged down in the negativity; acknowledge that you can still get up and do something no matter what your reality is, and that while everything may seem hopeless, life evolves quickly.
2.) Ask yourself the Flip the Switch question: How can I use this emotional pain, challenge, or situation to better my circumstances and make me more resilient – today, this hour, this minute, this second?
3.) Do the opposite of what people would normally do in a similar situation. Even if a certain response is understandable, valid even, do the opposite. When you Flip the Switch, you’re turning the situation on its head – you’re turning bad into good, pain into power.
4.) Pay attention to how you feel inside when you decide to Flip the Switch. You’re likely to feel more energized, hopeful, and motivated. This will inspire you to continue to Flip the Switch in the long term. This will increase your awareness and allow you to feel more in control enabling hope and optimism to grow.
Christian Moore has inspired me in dimensions as a non-practicing educator I was sorely needing. You as teachers and social worker types may well be familiar with Christian’s books. He certainly raises the bar for professing believers and especially for you at Kidron Mennonite this morning who heard Pastor Carl’s sermon on “Steps to the Future: Decide.” Bottom line, we must decide when summoned by God whether we’ll 1.) Offer Him our Excuses or 2.) Accept His Expectations! Our excuses come easy but our obedience at the table of God’s support is rare considering His Expectations and Resources; including Promises, Perceptions (our finite vs. His infinite), Power, Provision, and Purpose!
Christian grew up on the streets as a drug runner with severe learning disabilities who is now definitely leaving his imprint all over his sphere of influence. He took his finite less than “normal” talents and “grew” them into a legacy matched by few even with a full deck of their faculties. Please understand this introduction in no way summarizes the vast content Christian portrays in this book.
Blessings as You Go Forth creating your legacy in the full array of God’s expectations designed specifically for YOU and your talents >>>>> merlin