From Ch. Three: Every Moment Matters from the book, Pg. 55 How Full Is Your Bucket?
Positive Psychology experts are finding that the frequency of small, positive acts is critical. John Gottman’s pioneering research on marriages suggests that there is a “magic ratio” of 5 to 1 – in terms of our balance of positive to negative interactions. Gottman found that marriages are significantly more likely to succeed when the couple’s interactions are near that 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative. When the ratio approaches 1 to 1, marriages “cascade to divorce.”
In a fascinating study, Gottmann teamed up with two mathematicians to test this model. Starting in 1992, they recruited 700 couples who had just received their marriage licenses. For each couple, the researchers videotaped a 15-minute conversation between husband and wife and counted the number of positive and negative interactions. Then based on the 5 to 1 ratio, they predicted whether each couple would stay together or divorce.
Ten years later, Gottman and his colleagues followed up with each couple to determine the accuracy of their original predictions. The results were stunning. They had predicted divorce with 94 % accuracy – based on scoring the couple’s interactions for 15 minutes.
This ratio is critical in the workplace as well. A recent study found that work groups with a positive to negative interaction ratios greater than 3 to 1 are significantly more productive than teams that do not reach this ratio. Frederickson and Losada’s mathematical modeling of positive to negative ratios, however, also suggests the existence of an upper limit: Things can worsen if the ratio goes higher than 13 to 1.
So, while this book focuses primarily on ways to increase positive emotions, it is important to note that we don’t recommend ignoring negativity and weaknesses positively; must be grounded in reality. A “Pollyanna” approach in which the negativity is completely ignored, can result in a false optimism that is counterproductive – and sometimes downright annoying. There are times when it is absolutely necessary to correct our mistakes and figure out how to manage our weaknesses.
But most of us don’t have to worry about breaking the upper limit. The positive-to- negative ratios in most organizations are woefully inadequate and leave substantial room for improvement.
NEXT UP: Five Strategies for Increasing Positive Emotions. The first covered will be Prevent Bucket Dipping.