In summary, the chapter aptly titled “Going Deeper,” resonates with many of us, especially as Wendell shares his meeting and being prayed over by Gerald Derstine, (1928-2022) who became a prominent early leader in the charismatic movement. Born into a conservative Pennyslvania Mennonite family, he initially became a functional agnostic but experienced a profound spiritual transformation after attending a Pentecostal revival in 1955, which led him to yield his life to Christ. His ministry, marked by an outpouring of the Holy Spirit featuring miracles, speaking in tongues, and other charismatic manifestations, began during a youth retreat in 1954-1955 at the Strawberry Lake Mennonite Church in MN. This revival led the conference to silencing his ministry in 1955 as church leaders demanded he denounce the events as Satanic, which he refused to do.
In his book, Wendell references the heated conversations in many Mennonite conferences & congregations about the Holy Spirit; who He is, what He does, when and how to get Him, during the years following up to his meeting Gerald in the later 60’s in NYC. Wendell poignantly identified the conflict for we born during the 1940’s and later, for we grew up with up God defined as a God of order, discipline, and correctness, demanding a kind of holy purity. Wendell shares beginning during his middle school years of coming to the conclusion that the Holy Spirit was probably something good, but the issue then was so controversial, he concluded he’d be better off if he kept himself at a safe distance, at least until the dust settled.
Therefore, I’ve divided chapter three, “Going Deeper” into nine posts. Here begins the third chapter, “Going Deeper.”
“If your children ask for a fish do you give them a snake instead, Or if they ask for an egg do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him? Luke 11:11 – 13
I had previously removed four of the five protective bars from the skylight over my third-story bedroom at the Voluntary Service Center jumping up from my bed I grasped the remaining bar and with great effort pulled myself up through the narrow opening and then crawled out the skylight window.
Sitting on the flat tarred roof I leaned against a stained brick chimney and stared out over the neighborhood. It was so different from the neighborhood I had known in Kidron. The unpleasant odor of the tar grilled by the afternoon sun mixed with a wonderful cross-cultural smorgasbord of smells drifting out from nearby open windows where evening meals were being prepared. This was the perfect place to meditate undisturbed. None of the other young residents in the house beneath my rooftop perch knew my secret place. Secure from prying eyes, I lit up a cigarette and enjoyed its calming effects as the stresses of the day seemed to dissipate along with the smoke. I had been in the city for nearly a year. During this time I had indeed gained a clearer perspective on life, humanity, and the human heart, even my own life. With a final puff I ground out the glowing tip of the cigarette and flicked the remaining evidence over onto a neighboring roof top.
One thing was clear. If there were going to be any meaning to this life, I would have to make my own way to find it. The tried and proven methods that the masses seem bent on pursuing regardless whether it was in Kidron or New York City, seemed to lead nowhere. People generally define success by how good a façade they are able to present in a never-ending game of illusions. The last thing I wanted was to become trapped inside an illusion of success or happiness.
Bottom Line:
Usually when I came up to my secret place, along with my cigarettes, I would also bring my Bible. There was something comforting about the book. Maybe it eased my guilt for sneaking a smoke. Even if I didn’t read it much, it felt good to have it at my side. Somehow my roots were in this book, and I knew if all else failed in life, somewhere buried within those pages, lay the clues that perhaps would unlock new avenues of exploration and hope.
Under the ambient light of the city, I lit another cigarette and randomly flipped through my open Bible. There on the page in front of me, my eyes fell on these familiar voice words of Jesus.
Then He said to the crowd, “If any of you want to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you will give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?” (Luke 9:23-25 NLT”)
Again folks, that’s just the way I see it this morning, always speaking to myself, first & foremost! To be continued.