While working on my book, The TECH-WISE FAMILY, it dawned on me while writing this book about technology and family life, that I had an absolutely ironclad practice every single day of walking downstairs when I got up in the morning for the first thing I did, was look at my phone. That’s what you do in the morning, right? Look at your phone, and you know, I’d be making tea, but even before the tea was finished, I’d let the glowing rectangle tell me whatever I needed to pay attention to, all the urgencies, all the outrages, all the demands, all the opportunities….
And somehow I had the presence of mind one morning to think this cannot possibly be the best way to start my day because it would just instantly “adrenalate” me, you know? So, I thought, well, what can I do instead? Something that would be kind of a “sufficient counter discipline” to this habit of upon awakening first thing picking up my phone every day? At this point I thought, you know, what I ought to do is just go outside a few minutes?
So, I decided that to do that every day before I looked at my phone. But my tea comes first, even before going outside. So after making my tea, for that’s one habit I’m simply not gonna give up, which is TEA FIRST. So I take my tea outside and just stand outside the front door for a few moments enjoying my tea, and fully experience whatever the day had for me, before I turn to the glowing rectangle.
And during those first two weeks when I was trying this new routine of going outside but without my phone, every day became a ridiculous spiritual battle! I thought, this is not a complicated thing to do. And yet, every morning, it was like I could almost sense a voice calling to me from my phone, “Don’t you need to check me?” “Don’t you want to drive me and I’d have to resist and say “No! Get thee behind me. I’m going outside first.”
However, two weeks into this going outside with my tea before looking at my phone, I heard the voice, just like the days before, but something absolutely flipped! Instead of feeling “temptation and allure”, all I felt was “revulsion & repulsion!” ( Merlin now: Is it possible this overpowering feeling of “revulsion & repulsion” is the result of being transformed and or empowered, or both? Or, is it what I refer to simply as divine kisses from Father God?) Instantly, I thought “Why would I ever invest in you ( speaking to my phone) during this most beautiful first moment of my day, rather than going outside and being a fully responsive creature in God’s creation?” And you know, ever since I’ve done this, it is now one of the most spiritually transformative things I’ve done with my life; probably in the last 10 years!
Merlin again: And my gut busy-body-merlin-response is, Shouldn’t I add/inject scripture, prayers of adoration, & worshipful music into this moment? BUT then I stop & ask why? Isn’t He & Me enough for this moment? Seriously? Why are we/I so driven? Remember the 1908 hymn by Pollard & Stebbins that many of us we grew up singing titled “Have Thine Own Way Lord”? Lyrics are at the bottom.
Andy again: And, it’s been rather embarrassing for me, quite honestly. Yeah, just by stepping outdoors. Whatever the weather is, wherever I am in the world. Sometimes I walk down flights and flights of stairs, if I’m staying in a hotel, just to spend a moment or even minutes, being who I really am…..
BOTTOM LINE:
… which is really, a very small part of a very large world! Rather, than being what I am on the screen, which is actually, a very large part of a very small world! I need to think that through every morning for a while. And it’s been a gift, to choose to be who I really am.
And that’s what our disciplines are designed to accomplish. In this case, for us to choose to be who I know I am, and more importantly, who I want to be.
merlin again: Personally, I’m thinking Andy must be light years ahead of me spiritually, for I’m still not satisfied with who I am, nor am I convinced I even know who I want to be… At least, not yet! Anyone relate? I’m still living under the umbrella of basking in the words of hymn below… Blessings on your journey today.
Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Thou art the Potter, I am the clay.
Mold me and make me after Thy will;
While I am waiting, yielded and still. (Even outdoors perhaps?)
Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Search me and try me, Master, today!
Whiter than snow, Lord, wash me just now,
As in Thy presence humbly I bow.
Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Wounded and weary, help me, I pray!
Power, all power, surely is Thine!
Touch me and heal me, Savior divine.
Have Thine own way, Lord! Have Thine own way!
Hold o’er my being absolute sway!
Fill with Thy Spirit ’till all shall see
Christ only, always, living in me.