It is not wrong to want to be loved.
It is not wrong to want to build your life with an intimate other.
It is not wrong to want a life of dignity.
It is not wrong to want a life of purpose.
It is not wrong to want friends.
It is not wrong to want a life of worship.
And Jesus does not marginalize her longing, nor will he scoff at yours. He validates her thirst when he promises to satisfy it. He offers her life without end rather than a life of dead ends. Out of the very depth and desperation of her soul she moves closer and pleads:
Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water. (John 4:15)
In her anguished plea, I hear hope. I recognize her longing as my own. Jesus, please don’t make me go back to this place that continually reminds me of my failures. Like her, I had failed to keep the laws of my youth. She knew she couldn’t earn it, didn’t deserve it; this could only come to her as if it was a gift. Like an addict, she had nothing more to spend. Her thirst had enslaved her.
Before Jesus could give her this living water, he needed to see if she was ready to empty herself. Was she truly ready to leave it behind? He addresses the faulty, stagnant well she had drawn from for so long… men.
Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” (v. 16)
Don’t imagine that with this directive Jesus was looking for an authority structure through which he could speak to her, nor was he necessarily pointing out her sin. Rather, he asked for her husband to locate her pain. Our brave sister spoke the truth even knowing full well that the truth might very well disqualify her from the rabbi’s living water.
I have no husband. (v. 17)
This admission must have weighed heavy on her. Five failed marriages. There is no hint of blame, no suggestion of excuses in her admittance; it is just the raw and ugly truth. I have no husband…
Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’, for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” (vv. 17-18)
BOTTOM LINE:
Jesus can work with truth tellers and brave confessions. She told her present reality, and he filled in the details of her past. Five men had taken her as their wife only to cast her aside. Sometimes I wonder why there has been so much focus on her as a sinner. I am granddaughter of a woman who was married four times to three husbands. She was not a victim; it was her choice and vice. But it may not have so with this woman. We don’t know for certain that she was in the wrong. She lived under the law, which meant a man could decide that marrying his wife had been a mistake, and he could easily put her away with a certificate that affirmed his disappointment. Under the law it would have been impossible for her to be the one changing husbands of her own initiative. A remarriage would have required this certificate of divorce.
NEXT UP:
Can you imagine being rejected by five different husbands? I’m reading between the lines and judging by the conversational integrity displayed with Jesus she likely wasn’t the primary cause of her rejections, especially in that culture… Stay tune.