World-renowned psychologist and leadership expert Henry Cloud has impacted millions of lives through his groundbreaking books and his work coaching leaders of the most influential organizations in the world. But few people know the details of his own story and how he become one of the most beloved and respected psychologists and faith influencers in America.
In this indelibly personal and vulnerable book, Dr. Cloud leads us through his early struggles with illness and depression and the miracles that healed him and led him to his calling as a healer of others. Through masterful storytelling combined with a deeply nuanced understanding of the human mind, Dr. Cloud invites readers to inhabit the spaces of suffering and elation that make us most human and to walk alongside of him as he ponders the great questions we are so often afraid to ask, but which give our lives fulfilling meaning.
Introduction
One night, as a ten-year-old at camp in North Carolina, I felt a pain and stirring in my soul that has never gone away. The night had been a regular camp night … with counselors and cabin mates at the big bonfire … doing camp-like things. One of them I do remember being a bit unusual … we ate a rattlesnake that some crazy counselor had killed, but other than that, just normal stuff, along with some kind of “devotional” time. It was a “lightly” Christian camp, but not an in-your-face overbearing type of religious camp. Mainly it was a sports and wildlife experience for four weeks of fun and some attempt by the counselors at spiritual and character development of who knows what kinds of kids had been sent there by parents wanting either a break or a better version of their kid. My parents probably hoped for both.
That week had been one of a difficult-to-explain heightening of my love for God. I had always had a strong consciousness of God from early childhood … I somehow knew He was there. He showed Himself to me ways I couldn’t really explain … I just knew when I felt His presence and that it was real. But this particular camp experience that week led me to a little mountainside chapel as I was out for a hike, where I had an experience that I remember as if it were yesterday. I was tromping around in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina and suddenly felt drawn into that little building. As I sat there in silence, I was overcome with a movement in my heart. I felt Him drawing me to Him … it was kind of overwhelming, in a good way. The love was so strong that I felt for Him. As I sat there, I told Him that I would do whatever He wanted me to do with my life. I had been moved by an Invisible Force that I knew was real and loving. I was sure of that.
Which brought me to that night … I had it before, the “gospel” message that was conveyed, that God loved all of us and Jesus had died to pay the penalty for everything we had ever done wrong, securing forgiveness for any of us for all time. I had believed it before as a child but probably didn’t understand it as well as I did that night. For some reason, this time it pierced more deeply.
I don’t remember all of the details of the message, but I vividly remember the gist. The counselor said that the gospel was a simple message that was like this: Think of if you committed a crime, and went to court, and were found guilty by the judge. You are standing in front of the bench, and he pronounces the verdict: guilty as charged. And then he pronounces the penalty, the fine. You know that you cannot pay it or endure it, but it stands as true and real. You are guilty and you are convicted. You must pay the fine. And you also realize that you cannot afford the price.
Then right at that moment, the judge says, “I will come down from the bench and stand in your place and pay the fine for you if you want me to. You may go free if you accept my offer.” The counselor then said, “That is what Jesus did for us. He paid our fine, and if we accept His payment, his death on the cross for us, we can go free and be pronounced ‘not guilty.”’ We can be forever forgiven by God for everything we have ever done, or ever will do. It has been paid for, if we accept it.
Somehow the simplicity of that moved me in a different way than it ever before. I realized that the love that I had felt from God was from a loving Father, not mad at me for being “bad,” and not ready to zap me for any mistake. It came together in a much deeper way.
So, with all that good news, why the pain that night?
I felt the pain of knowing that my best friend did not know God … did not know that there was Someone who loved him this much and that he would have a relationship with … and I wanted him to know it, too. But I felt squeamish about how to tell him. After all, we were more concerned with being cool and tough and winning games and trophies than being one of those weird religious types. So, I had never talked to him about it. And that night, I cried with my counselor in front of the fireplace back in at the lodge. I needed to know how to get out of this dilemma … the dilemma of carrying around such an incredible Reality that I knew he would want to know, and at the same time being too afraid to talk about it.
Well, since that time, a lot has happened. A lot. And I have seen way, way more of how real God is, and what He can do. And this book is my attempt to put my journey with God into words … for one purpose: I want my friends to know that God is real. And although I have discussed God with many of my friends since that time, I want to write it all down for them and others I have not talked to, in one place: “You might think I’m crazy, but this is why I believe, and why I want you to have a relationship with Him, too.” And before you read on, I can pretty much guarantee that you will find some of it to sound very crazy. But it is all true.
There are a lot of obstacles to faith. I had them myself after I decided to get more serious about my faith later in life, so I it is easy to for me to understand when others have those questions. I had to struggle with finding answers that satisfied me, because I could not be a believer and put my brain in a lockbox in order to do that. So, the first purpose of this book is to share with you my story of God’s reality in my life, and the second is to share how those hard questions were resolved in my own soul and brain. I want to share the answers I found that put it all to rest.
Life has so many dilemmas that make it so hard to believe in a good God at times, and the people who sell the God message can sometimes be so weird and crazy and obnoxious that we just feel like “If this faith were true, then all of that crap would not exist that surrounds it, and Christians would not be so undesirable and such a turn-off.” As I used to think when I was kid, “I like God; I just don’t like His friends.”
Of course, not all Christians are “that kind.” So, many are awesome people who do truly incredible things. They give of their time, talents, and resources to make the world a much better place, alleviating poverty, suffering, and much more. And they are people of stellar character. I know this to be true over and over, all around the world. But as I talk to people who do not share my faith, the experiences that they have had with some believers are often a big part of the obstacle to God. But the fascinating thing I have found is this: the religious people that you and I both struggle with and can’t stand are the same ones Jesus didn’t get along with, either. I will show you what He actually says about certain types of judgmental, narrow-minded, narcissistic, and controlling religious types. I will hopefully help you discover something I learned …that “they” are not what He or the faith is about at all, and those people often do exactly the opposite of what He told us to do, even doing those things “in His name.”
More about that later.
So, come along with me as I share my experience, my questions, and the answers that I have found that have satisfied my doubts. One disclaimer: I do not mean that my answers are even the best ones out there; they are only my heartfelt attempt to tell my own story about how they got answered for me. They come from many areas of science, and other fields, and as I studied those disciplines, I discovered something. There are brilliant people on both sides of faith and non-faith, and it told me that intelligence, IQ, science, philosophy or any other discipline is not standing in the way of whether or not someone believes. But for someone who does believe, the science supports faith, and as I will share with you, many of the most brilliant physicists, biologists, astronomers, and others who attest to that.
So, let’s hop in. First my journey to faith and its experiences, and then how some tough questions got answered.
NEXT UP:
Not at all sure. Loretta gave me this book for Father’s Day and we in a few minutes will begin chapter six on Audible as we walk our dogs on the exquisite Gerber Homestead Trail 1.25 mile twice daily trek. Both the trail and the book are an absolute delight. We are blessed!