And I was so taken with it, now in Lent, I read the whole chapter. Then I got hung up on verse 21 about “coming down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.” And that ended with quoting three paragraphs from “Dreamland,” a 2016 book many grandparents should read since they now possess both motive and time. First, though, just absorb this blog. Quite unique!
Colossians 3:1-25 MSG
[1-2] He Is Your Life
So if you’re serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ— that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective.
[3-4] Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life-even though invisible to spectators-is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you’ll show up, too-the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.
[5-8] And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That’s a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It’s because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn’t long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it’s all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.
[9-11] Don’t lie to one another. You’re done with that old life. It’s like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you’ve stripped off and put in the fire. Now you’re dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.
[12-14] So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
[15-17] Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ-the Message-have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives-words, actions, whatever-be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.
[18] Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master.
[19] Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don’t take advantage of them. [20] Children, do what your parents tell you. This delights the Master no end.
[21] Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.
merlin commenting now: Ever think how the prodigal’s son father exhibited his “tough love?” Scripture states immediately after the request that “so he divided to them his livelihood.” It evidently was not after his accountant jockeyed his resources, or by shaming him by guilt trips, or threats of any kind. Having just read Sam Quinones “Dreamland: The True Tale of America’s Opiate Epidemic,” the point is continually made throughout the book’s 353 pages that what fueled the advance of the Mexican cheap black tar heroin distribution system amongst the white privileged middle and upper classes during the last three decades, was primarily the failure of their parents, even once aware of the problem, to effectively facilitate and dispense tough love to their children, even years before the heroin finally showed up. It could be argued big pharma started it; parents just aided and abetted…
So the youth actually were set up by their parents removing them from the normal usual and customary age appropriate responsibilities, existing in a vacuum doomed for failure, especially when the predominate communication, is “what do you want or need?” And when the parents first encountered either their child’s addiction and the subsequent demands were forthcoming, there was no equity in their relational communication bank to facilitate either reason and/or, a cooperative spirit. The book reveals most parents refused to act on the evidence their child had a problem in their bedroom sanctuary, resulting in many “quiet” unknown deaths for the first decade.
Or consider the other extreme, shaming and threats that were enacted rather than admitting their worst nightmare was now just down the hall, requiring all the love they could muster, and a willingness to be transparent with their pain in order to learn from the many now vocal parents telling all crisscrossing America speaking to everyone who would listen to their experiential wisdom; and indeed, there was abundant hope, and that love was stronger than hate and fear.
I am including the following three paragraphs from page 323 as proof of how well- meaning churches and parents can get it all wrong. Perhaps, according to the prodigal son parable, it is first about how you have loved them, and then, if such events would ever dictate you sending them off as in the prodigal, first consider how much you are a loved parent in God’s care. Next, realize you too must be able to release your children from your care, if they so choose, but rest assured, they will always be in His care and protection while are learning their own life’s lessons, as difficult as that may be for you, since you’ll not be in control. You too, must live in hope for the day they choose to return and you’ll be ready for their embrace and as in the parable, their words of repentance will be lost in the ecstasy of the moment.
Bottom line, we are to love our children even before their conception, always displaying during these hard moments that demand tough love, that we may do so with all due diligence, complete and unreserved Godly obedience, His forgiveness, His transformation, His empowerment and especially, our zeal for discipling anyone living without His hope! That dictum is alive and well in this home, actually it is flourishing! Jewish tradition had it right with their Big Four Shares, remember the doorposts?
Pg. 323
” Russian Pentecostal junkie named John Tkach had started a rehabilitation clinic in the Portland suburb of Boring. Tkach saw the Russian Pentecostal churches trying to hide the sight of hundreds of addicted kids. Parents who asked a pastor’s help with their addicted child were shamed for running a sinful house. Tkach sold his trucking business, took out a second mortgage on his house, and opened a rehabilitation center. A church formed around it, the first to make the rampant opiate addiction of the Russian Pentecostal kids the focus of its ministry. God Will Provide, as the new church was called, rested on Jesus’s message of love, forgiveness, and transformation. Traditional Russian pastors called it blasphemy and sinful. Russian Pentecostal kids called it the Rehab Church. But soon God Will Provide had spread its church/rehab center to Sacramento, Seattle, and elsewhere.
There, Ella met Vitaliy Mulyar. Vitaliy had crashed since those heady days when he was one of the first Russians to sell OxyContin in Portland. In 2010, Vitaliy faces a two-year prison term if he failed another probation drug test. Terrified, he turned to God Will Provide, where he felt warmth in church for the first time. He kicked heroin, became a Bible teacher, and, with a judge’s permission, went on to a mission to the Ukraine and Austria as the church, fired by the new energy of its recovering-addict congregants, opened a school for missionaries.
A year into his recovery, Vitaliy encountered Elina at the center. He told her his story. She mistrusted her own capacity to change. But it struck her, the way he had risen from the street. A chaste romance followed, in keeping with the Russian Pentecostal tradition, though with a modern American twist. They grew acquainted via hundreds of texts while he was on mission. Vitaliy came home and asked Elina to marry him before they ever kissed.
Two years later, their daughter was born. They named her Grace.”
You catch the vision that God really intended here. And to think, it really wasn’t about the prodigal at all, it was about the brother that stayed home, and was in the pew every Sunday, maybe even taught Sunday school once, or twice! I’m done! It has been a good day. And you don’t know half of it. Praise God for His faithfulness.