It does seem that I have been more reflective about life since 12:45 pm 1/15/21. Slipping on the snowy grass, I was instantly flat out in the mud with my wind knocked out of me. I recalled instantly the scars were still showing from my forehead connecting with driveway stone in late October. And I just recouped from toe surgery the day before Christmas, that required more Tylenol to keep me comfortable than my triple bypass did in July. Not another incident surely! And I was just beginning to enjoy the benefits of that toe being fixed and walking with no pain!.
No doubt this was real. I now had “crunchy” bones as proof. Loretta was gone but would return soon. Eventually, I rolled from my left side to my back and then as able, I rolled over on my right side and in 20 minutes, I was on my feet and in a warm house. Loretta returned and I let her attend her mother and put the groceries away before walking into her presence and freaking her out. I was a mess. A little blood for effect and a whole lot of mud; after all, I did need to roll over before I got up, but not before scrunching up my legs and getting up on my knees. It felt so good to be standing again!
So I’m 8 days into this narrative already and this is what I’ve learned thus far. The ER informed me Friday I had broken 3 ribs and my left clavicle so I go home in a sling and sleep well with aid of an oxy something and use Tylenol during the day. Monday I saw my GP and yup, I had also broken my L scapula (shoulder blade). We figured that out over the weekend because scapula’s make a lot of noise and pain after a break because it so hard to immobilize the two pieces so that they can knit unless they put you into an induced coma… certainly not protocol for such trivia. I broke my R scapula most recently five years ago and within two weeks I was working again. This one is much more stubborn and I’ve learned even the oxy does not kill the “grating” pain so I quit the Tylenol and will soon quit the oxy too since all it does is destroys my “regularity”.
So bear with me readers, the above account is of course, not the sole cause for my reflection the past eight days but each such event does create focus. And I’m also quite sure future generations will never fully ascertain the truth of this week’s events either regardless of the massive documentation. But my reflection today soars way beyond any current domestic and foreign trivia.
I took time today to immerse myself in a quick read historical book loaned me by my sister Verla, titled “Honey Bread and Milk: A Couple’s Quest to be Faithful” by a Joyce Gingerich Zuercher, who was the first to make Amos and Nannie Gingerich grandparents, and was even more privileged to live near them during her early years. It is an amazing account of one couple , Amos and Nannie’s lifetime of self-less living to their Lord, to each other, their children, their churches/congregations, institutions, etc Amos Gingerich was an older sibling of my grandfather, J C Gingerich, from Kalona IA.
The story begins in Europe when Christian Guengerich, born in 1648 in Heimberg, is the earliest known Gingerich ancestor who was imprisoned in Schwartzeneck Prison for his Anabaptist teachings. He escaped from prison and left Switzerland with his family, leasing various estates across the Palatinate.
Already in the 18th century Europe, the Anabaptist Amish were known as innovative, conscientious farmers. Wars early in the century had decimated the rural population and ravaged the countryside, so many lords, knowing the reputation of the Amish, invited them to manage their estates. Eventually, in the 1740’s our Gingerich and Swartzedruber ancestors settled in the Waldeck area at the invitation of Prince Karl August Friedrick of Waldeck.
Jacob Swartzendruber had been ordained in Germany before immigrating to Johnson County IA in 1851 and was ordained in 1853 as their first Amish bishop. Jacob was Amos’s great grandfather whereas Nannie’s grandfather, Christian Warye, was an Amish minister from IN, who moved his family to IA in 1884.
I’ll not bore you with any more details but I know some of the people, many of the places, and now definitely, being a bit more fragile at 72 years of age, I can better relate to the canvas of life as it is being rolled by in my presence…. And considering, I really do not even possess any significant memorable history of my grandfather J C Ginerich either! When I was 15, I saw him for two days, when I was 10 maybe for two days, several weeks when I was 8, since he moved to Phoenix AZ area selling his MN farm when I was only 5. Rather sparse interactions compared to many of you. Enough on my “withering roots.”
And so what do I do next during a “reflective” sunny Saturday, except pick up a book I pulled out today earlier while on a search for a friend stuck in Aultman cardiac waiting for the same op by the same surgeon as I had six months ago. I’ve read this book before and greatly appreciate it and its author, Gary Miller and “Going Till You’re Gone: Rethinking Retirement: A Kingdom – focused vision in midlife and beyond.”
But now I have a big problem. I can only type with one hand …. And I really desire to end this post with his 5 page introduction to this book; because I think Gary summarizes quite well why I am so reflective of late. It’s not just my freak accidents, or the cloudy obscure national and international and events including censorship, etc. It is so much bigger than everything we think we’re seeing, hearing, even feeling. And I think Gary feels it too. Give a listen to his Intro verbatim.
In the end he stood alone. His admirers, loyal associates, and ardent followers were gone. People who had eagerly listened, begging for advice and hanging on to his every word, were no longer interested. Even his closest friends and family had deserted him. In his final hour, when support and encouragement were desperately needed, they had fled. There had been a time, not very long ago, when some of the wealthiest and most famous names in society had wanted to be seen with him. He had been admired and sought after. But not now. Now he stood by himself, and as the judge pronounced his awful sentence, the angry onlookers cheered.
This man was Madoff. He was 71 years old, and his sentence was 150 years in prison for operating the largest Ponzi scheme in the history of humanity. For years Bernard had paid higher dividends on investments than any of his competitors could match. His company Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities LLC, with its unmatched dividends, was the talk of the rich and famous. But unknown to them, Bernard was simply using new deposits to pay high dividends on the old. And when the entire scheme came crashing down, he had bilked investors out of billions of dollars.
From wealthy billionaires to poor widows who were counting on deposited money to take them through their retirement, angry people came forward demanding justice and retribution. Bernard’s scam caused untold misery, not only in the lives of depositors, but in his own life as well. His children and wife of 50 years disowned him in disgust. And as time passed, emotional repercussions from Bernard‘s crime continue to haunt him. Exactly two years after the day Bernard was arrested, his son Mark, a husband and father, unable to bear the reproach brought on the family name, committed suicide in his New York apartment.
Today “Bernie,” identified his prisoner No. 61727–054, has transitioned from his $8 million penthouse on E. 64th St., in New York to an 8 x 10 cell in the federal correctional complex in Burner, North Carolina. Rather than dining on caviar with rich celebrities, you will find him eating cold sandwiches with drug dealers. The man who once recruited investors an exclusive country clubs is now only allowed to venture out of his concrete cell to get fresh air every other day, exercising in a cage on the roof. It is a pathetic ending to a sad story.
Bernard Madoff’s story is an example of self-centeredness and greed. With an eye only on profit and personal gain, Madoff destroyed his marriage, his relationship with his sons, and the trust his many clients placed in him. But Bernard Madoff is not the only man who has pursued a self-centered path. Self is the theme of our day. Our society constantly shouts that life is about me. It tells me that I should do what I want to do and go where I want to go. Marketers constantly proclaim that it’s all about me, and public schools offer classes to boost self-esteem. Just pick up one of our daily newspapers and read the advice column. If your parents, spouse, or job are no longer fulfilling, move on. Me should obviously be the primary focus in decision making.
But somehow when a Bernard Madoff comes along and puts all that self-centered teaching into practice, everyone is disgusted. No one really admires the result of a self-focused life. At some basic level we understand and we wouldn’t want to live in a culture where everyone was completely living for self. And yet self continues to be promoted. We are taught that life’s aim is self-fulfillment. I am to pursue things that satisfy me, that feel good to me, and that make me happy.
We could wish that this focus on me was limited to the secular world. But sadly, the self-centered emphasis has infiltrated churches and gradually reshaped their views on finances and possessions – as well as on retirement. If you listen to many prominent “Christian“ teachers, you will discover the same focus. Retirement is promoted as a time to enjoy life and benefit from the things you have accumulated.
We are familiar with advertisements for exotic vacations, timeshare offers, and the ever-changing myriad of recreational products offered today. In our self-centered society one would expect these. However, wouldn’t marketers understand the foolishness of using self-focused advertising to attract a self-denying people? Unfortunately, even “Christian“ articles and advertisements today assume that believers are best motivated by appeals to self-gratification.
Volunteering during retirement is encouraged. Why? Because of how much better it will make you feel about yourself. Retirement accounts and various financial investments are promoted. For what reason? Because they will make it easier to enjoy retirement and do the things you have always longed to do. The theme recurs: it is all about me. Recently, in a brochure promoting volunteering at a Christian rest home, I noticed these words; “We want your volunteer experience to be fun and fulfilling.” Is there a problem with spending our older years in enjoyable activities? Is it wrong to find fulfillment in volunteering?
There’s nothing wrong with enjoying our final years. I think God Himself is pleased when we enjoy life. But there is a problem when fun and fulfillment become our primary focus. When we drift from serving the Lord to serving ourselves, we depart from a Biblical Kingdom focus.
What has caused this shift in Christianity? During the years of the early church and the early Christian martyrs, Christianity was known as radical religion. Men and women who chose to follow Jesus willingly walked away from their former self-centered lives. Today, an observing unbeliever can often see little difference between his own value system and the materialistic focus of people who claim to be following Jesus. Is Christianity no longer a life-changing religion?
Several years ago I talked to middle-aged believer who was trying to get a vision for the last half of his life. He started quietly interviewing older men in his church fellowship to understand their vision and find out how they were occupying themselves during her final years. When I talked to him after he had spoken to several of his fellow worshipers, he was discouraged.
He asked one of the older brothers how he was using his time and energy, and this older man replied that he was a paper hanger. The younger man told me that at first he was excited. This older man was still active and had a vision. But then the older man went on to explain. “My wife gives me a roll of toilet paper every once in a while, and I hang it up.”
In a joking way he was admitting that he was accomplishing very little. But what really bothered the younger man was the fact that the older man seem pleased with his lack of accomplishment. He seemed almost proud of it. He had worked hard in his life, and even though he was still in good health and capable of working, he has no vision for achieving anything more. The younger man found this disturbing. “Where is the older generation’s vision?” He asked. “There is so much they could be doing in their older years.”
I am thankful there are many older ones among us who do have a vision for enriching and expanding the Kingdom. There are still believers who are willing to spend and be spent for the Kingdom until the end. Yet it is easy to grow weary of the battle at times, and I think every older believer has a longing for heaven. We look at this sin-cursed, polluted, immoral world, and there are times you would just like to step off the planet. We watch with concern as the ungodly society we grew up with gives birth to a generation that seems even more intent on forgetting God. We can’t help but wonder what is on the horizon. How many more Bernie Madoffs will our society churn out? How much worse can it get?
Perhaps the Apostle Paul had similar thoughts. He wrote of his desire to depart and be with Christ, which would be far better. I think Paul experienced times of battle fatigue – times of wishing he could just forget the struggle and go on home to glory. But Paul didn’t camp there, and neither should we. He went on to say that he knew it was needful for him to stay and bless the church of that day. In other words, Paul was determined to give all his energy to the Kingdom of Jesus Christ until he was called home by God Himself.
This is my prayer for each of you as you remember the past, consider the present, and anticipate the future. May your heart burn with a desire to be useful to the end! Regardless of the mistakes or poor choices you may have made, may you resolve to devote the rest of your time to God. Someday the Lord will call you home. But as you look forward to the final years of your life, I pray that you will have a growing desire to live for the Lord Jesus. I pray that as long as you live, you will maintain a godly vision, exhort and encourage your fellow believers, and keep on going till you’re gone!