I have been strangely quiet since before Christmas. Certainly not because there isn’t an abundance of “ideas” or material! But I’m getting to the point where I only write when prompted. And this was certainly not on my 3×5 card this morning.
I am increasingly aware I am to be personally transparent in this blog. Frequently I have done everything but that. Not that what I’m promoting is not of value for you but I’m thinking at some junctures, such as in this post, I’m being called to exhibit what I’m personally experiencing for whatever reason. So let me bring you up to date.
First I want to give credit to Pastor Carl’s for his sermons and our Sunday school class for attempting at least to continue the sermon’s relevance to our personal journeys as well as the prayer times we enjoy together. Quite honestly, I was very discouraged earlier this fall with my lack of leadership in the class and I spent much time in prayer for greater insights, perhaps for some new faces, greater regular attendance vs. the sporadically appearing, for greater interest and vigor among the participants, and about then I was introduced to Jamie Winship and his teaching on our identity in Christ that I spoke of in an earlier blog.
I listened to a number of his You Tubes and became quite taken with the simplicity of his living out the gospel message whether state side or multi-culturally as he and his family lived primarily in Muslim hot spots around the world for 30 years as a professor in their universities. So much so that I unconsciously took a fast from Jamie for 90 days. Prior to that I was talking and sharing Jamie across the board. Then total silence from me. This was not planned by me at all. This is not the way the former “merlin” worked. Prior when enamored by whatever “it” was, I pursued “it” literally to its death or mine.
This “Jamie fast” reminds of Carl’s first message this year titled simply”Four Prayers for our New Year” including first, prayers of observation (so that we are aware of how God is continually revealing Himself to us); second, prayers for opportunity (what does it mean for us to respond appropriately as Howard Thurmond reveals in his poem “The Work of Christmas” (google it); third, prayers for obedience (Jamie is relentless on simple obedience, why do we continually ask God for “whatever” when we never ever obey him?); and fourth, prayers for outcomes, and it is here I wrote in my notes that Carl next said, “Ultimately, leave it to God!” Just leave it to God! But no, what merlin has usuallydone in the past after completing the equivalent of the first three prayers, he then pursued out of a weird idea of “entitlement” (I did the first three so I deserve “my” outcome) what he perceives as the desired outcomes relentlessly until everyone is either “wounded” or disenfranchised into spiritual oblivion. I recall two such escapades at KMC that I was so implicated during the 90’s.
I shared with our SS class last time that it is my observation that I can not recall even one time where I’ve been deeply wounded by one person either in or outside the church. Rather remarkable but just as I’m writing this now, I recall one brother whom I love dearly, who really got in my face once in total disagreement, and it hurt, but big deal, only once? Read Anne Graham Lotz “Wounded By God’s People” for her wounding encounters at Olympic levels!
But what really pains me now and drives me in coaching for the healing and restoration of wounded hearts is the fact that while I’m looking in my life’s rear view mirror, I am reminded of all those precious souls I met on the interstates, the back roads, and the alleys of life where I flat out selfishly used and manipulated persons, events, situations, relationships, etc. for “merlin’s downfall” and certainly not God’s glory.
Case in point, I recently contacted two persons that were good friends of mine nearly 52 years ago but I had refused to build on that relationship several times over the years. Little wonder now I’ve not heard from either of them since I recently emailed them because real friendships do not go into electronic hibernation ready for an instant retrieval whenever it suits you to beam them up in person.
So, after a 90 day fast from Jamie’s You Tubes, I finally re-listened to one this week. But I can just hear you asking what happened during those 90 days? Fair question as God was teaching me to apply two of Jamie’s main tenants in approaching any situation or person from God’s spiritual perspective: 1.) What is it that you want me to know about this person or situation and 2.) What is it you want me to do with or about this situation or person? And then patiently wait until you hear his reply.
And I waited until I heard him uniquely on several fronts. Step out here, it is time to move ahead. Withdraw your energies there because it is not in his timing. Read or listen to this. So I did, such as the following books during my fast from the Jamie Winship You Tubes and indeed, most of these were listened to on Audible:
“A Life of Intimacy” by John Bevere;
“The Rock, the Road, and the Rabbi” by KL Gifford & Rabbi Jason Sobel;
“Playing with Holy Fire” and “Saving A Sick America” by Michael L Brown;
“The Magnificence Obsession,”; “Wounded by God’s People,” & “The Daniel Key” by Anne Graham Lotz,
“Stealth War” by Robert Spalding,
“Don’t Be Evil” by Rana Foroohar,
“Dark Agenda” by David Horowitz,
“Overcomer” by David Jeremiah,
“The Agenda of Angels” by Kevin Zadai,
“Reclaiming our Forgotten Heritage” by Curt Landry,
“My Lost Family” by Danny Ben-Moshe & Dasha Lisitsina,
“Buried Deep” by Margot Hunt,
“As Kingfishers Catch Fire” by the late Eugene Peterson
And of course considerable scripture including the gospels and especially from James and 90 days from “The One Year Bible..NIV” Please join me as I continue to call Tyndale House Publishers Customer Service weekly at (855) 277-9400 to request they publish “The Message Version” in a “One Year Bible” ASAP
It is little wonder I can say 2019 was indeed the best year of my life to date. I’ve been told it is a known fact that persons of integrity whom are making significant impacts in their realms of influence for the Kingdom of God are all readers. In my case, since I do not have the luxury of reading, I choose to listen to life changing books of wisdom, the ultimate choice being the Bible in my estimation, though certainly many may disagree with me. Currently I am Kindle reading Bart D. Ehrman’s book “Misquoting Jesus: The Story Behind Who Changed the Bible and Why” which is a stretch for me. I’m told this is the layman’s edition so I’d certainly not attempt a more vigorous academic version.
In summary, I see I’m already at 1400 words and I’ve only addressed two of the seven points I outlined when beginning. I heard a publisher once say that every book has to fulfill its promise in order to be an outstanding book. My promise tonight at the outset was that I’d be transparent with you and after reading this blog, you would know exactly what just recently transpired in my life; the good, the bad, and the ugly…. But also only by the grace and mercy of God can I look you squarely in the eyes, and declare “I am redeemed by the birth, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus and as thus, am endowed, and empowered by the Holy Spirit to continue building his church as recorded simply in the Acts of The Apostles.”
May we not be the group in the future church Jesus alluded to in Matt 8:12 while addressing the astonishing faith of the Roman captain. I suggest you just consider who could be the most offensive “captain” to our “churchy culture” today that would make our heads reel if such a miracle occurred for such a pagan “captain?” I can think of several that may certainly rock the Christianity Today staff and associated media.
But listen to what Jesus says just before He pronounced the healing. Reading from The Message in verse 12, “Then those who grew up ‘in the faith’ but had no faith will find themselves out in the cold, outsiders to grace and wondering what happened.” That scripture literally jumped off the page at me when I read it this morning in my One Year Bible Jan 10 reading. I ask myself by what or whose criteria am I evaluating the strength of my faith? We are indeed in the balance! Tough words for we the culturally comfortable. No further comments needed from me.” I’d love to hear from you though.
Blessings as YOU GO FORTH FULLY ENDOWED & EMPOWERED for 2020 with prayers of OBSERVATION, OPPORTUNITY, OBEDIENCE, & OUTCOME (But do leave the outcomes to God!)