Part of my coaching assignment by JD, requires I read Matthew Kelly’s book “The Rhythms of Life: Living Everyday With Passion & Purpose” (TROL) Even though I’ve been through it as well as “in and about it” frequently, I am amazed how my “at this moment perspective” has been changed by the events and experiences of the past 30 days. It is virtually monumental!
I did as JD instructed. “Go on vacation and do no work.” Actually it was the longest vacation I ever took, 12 days. And I am now embarrassed to even tell you that. Never really bothered me before. Perhaps evidence finally I am losing some of the vestiges of up until recently, having been a life-long workaholic. I did leave with a lengthy to do list (stack of green 3×5 index cards) which I lost early on. Very convenient and perhaps even divine! Out of sight at my age is indeed out of mind!
So how was it so monumental? I was blindsided at how much my dreams had changed during the past two weeks. I had prior to leaving on vacation 65 dreams identified in the following areas: Adventure, Emotional, Spiritual, Financial, Legacy, Professional, Physical, Intellectual, Material, Creative, Psychological, and Character. I just looked over them this morning and I estimate nearly half of them will be dropped or greatly retooled. Why? I’m sure there are numerous reasons but it primarily lies in the realm of perspective; getting off the treadmill long enough to break the rhythm of mild insanity and experiencing numerous interactions with persons for the first time in 50 + years, new locations, new genre of literature, long fruitful discussions with Loretta and family and even perfect strangers on the road hearing their stories, etc. We even crashed a wedding! Much better than a car!
Most of you know I really do desire a much different life from here forward and what is so strange, is that as I continue to discover my God given “essential purpose,” I am discovering it is really what I’ve given lip service to for decades but was clueless and powerless to initiate. And the reason I was clueless and powerless? Intellect and desire alone are insufficient catalyst. Basically, I was living without the love of God in my heart, life, being, etc. Once I accepted that I was indeed loved by God, my focus shifted from myself to others and as my ability to love increased, so did my ability to be loved increase, completing the cycle as God always intended.
Perhaps the word that best describes my former years is the most unattractive word, infatuation. We mistakenly will say “he is so in love with himself” of a selfish self-centered person, or “I just love Rocky Road ice cream, BMW’s, summer, or whatever. I believe those examples are merely an infatuation, because they can’t love you back. They only tantalize your taste, ego, or dislike of winter. Love functions best when it is cyclical but that is definitely not the prerequisite. Only God can provide us love reminiscent of the love He had for us “in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”( Romans 5:8) sufficient for us to endure, resist, refrain, and to be empowered to “keep us from stumbling and to present us blameless before the presence of his glory with great joy…..” Jude 1:24.
Or consider The Message Version of I Corinthians 13: 3-7. ”Love never gives up. Love cares for others more than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep the score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.”
Yes, God’s standards are high and infatuation is today’s normal for us choosing the path of clueless and powerless. But as Kelly skillfully reveals to his readers in the books first three sentences. “Everything is a choice. This is life’s greatest truth and its hardest lesson. It is a great truth because it reminds us of the power within us. Not power over others, but the often untapped power to be ourselves and to live the life we unfortunately, have never even imagined.”
“For many years I have been asking myself and others, “What do you want from life?“ The first several times I made my own list, all I wanted was more of the things of the world. Then I discovered my essential purpose, and everything changed.
I started asking myself, “Which of the things on my list are going to help me become the- best-version-of-myself?“ The good news was that I did have some things on my list that were going to help me become such. I also had a lot of things that were indifferent to my essential purpose. The bad news was that I had some things on my list that were directly or indirectly going to cause me, or encourage me, to become a-lesser-version-of-myself. I began assessing the things on my list in relation to my essential purpose.
From here on Kelly is speaking beginning on page six and the following will help you better understand how a two week vacation so positively disrupted my earlier dream list.
When I am focused on becoming the-best-version-of-myself, I am deeply happy. It is the pursuit of our essential purpose ALONE that satisfies.
When you know you are striving to become the-best-version-of-yourself, that alone is enough to sustain you in happiness. When you don’t have that, all the pleasure and possessions you can summon from the world cannot sustain happiness in the depths of your heart.
We spend our lives in the service of our desires. Sometimes those desires are good and their pursuit is to our benefit. At other times our desires are selfish and self-destructive. If there is purpose and meaning to our lives, then the highest levels of living must be linked to discovering that meaning and fulfilling that purpose. It stands to reason, then, that there should be a relationship between the purpose and the meaning of life and our dreams.
Earlier, I asked you to stop and consider what you wanted from life and to write those things down. As you progress through this book, I would like you to remain open to revising and changing, adding and eliminating, some of what you had previously written.
So, even though I am constantly dreaming new dreams, I have learned to dream with my central purpose at the center of my life. With that in mind, I have developed seven core dreams that help me stay focused on my essential purpose.
These are my dreams. I believe that the pursuit of these dreams will lead us to peace, happiness, success, satisfaction, service, wholeness, and holiness.
They are my dreams, but they are also my dreams for you.
The first dream
I have a dream for you….that you have complete control over your mental and physical faculties and that you are slave neither to food, nor drink, nor any other substance. I dream that you will be free, that you will have freedom in the truest sense of the word and the strength of character to do what is right in each situation.
The second dream
I have a dream for you… that you are able to discern the people, activities, and possessions that are most important to you. And that you are able to give each of them their time and place according to their appropriate priority.
The third dream
I have a dream for you…. that you have the courage and determination, firmness, and persistence to perform the tasks that you choose, decide, and resolve to perform. That you perform them with a commitment to excellence and attention to detail.
The fourth dream
I have a dream for you… that you discover a unique talent that leads you to dedicate the professional aspect of your life do some work you can be passionate about. I dream that you may enjoy the rare privilege of spending your days in meaningful work. That you serve your neighbor, your family, and your community in this occupation and that by it, you are able to provide for your temporal needs.
The fifth dream
I have a dream for you… that you grow in wealth in every sense of the word, that you are never in need, and that whatever your wealth is, you share it with all you can.
The sixth dream
I have a dream for you…. that you find true love. Someone you can cherish. Someone who makes you want to be a better person. A soulmate who can challenge you and love you. A companion who can walk with you, know you, share your joy, perceive your pain and heartache, and comfort you in your disappointments.
The seventh dream
I have a dream for you…. that you discover a deep and abiding inner peace. The peace that comes from knowing that who you are, where you are, and what you do is essentially good and makes sense; that you are contributing to the happiness of others; that you are progressing towards becoming the-best-version-of-yourself.
Blessings as you GO FORTH REVELING IN THE DREAMS YOUR HEAVENLY FATHER HAS ALWAYS HELD FOR YOU…IF YOU COULD ONLY IMAGINE… merlin