The following story is taken verbatim from Matthew Kelly’s book “The Seven Levels of Intimacy: The Art of Loving And The Joy Of Being Loved“, a book best introduced and discussed in every home around the supper table before the kids leave home … with their own copy, of course!
Peter was just an ordinary guy. He liked to watch football, drink beer, and hang out with his friends. From time to time, when he was alone, he would get a little introspective and start to think about where his life was going. It was then he thought about relationships; more specifically he would wonder whether he would ever have a truly great relationship. He always concluded that he hoped one day he would.
One thing Peter loved to do was people-watch, and if you like people-watching there is perhaps no better place than an airport.
A few years ago, he was standing at the airport in San Francisco waiting for a friend when he had one of those life-changing experiences you sometimes hear people talk about …. the kind that sneaks up on you when you least expect it.
Straining to locate a friend among the deplaning passengers, Peter noticed a man walking toward him carrying two small bags. The man stopped right next to Peter to greet his waiting family.
First he motioned to his younger son, who was perhaps five or six years old. Putting down his bags, he took the boy in his arms and gave him a long loving hug, and as they drew apart long enough to look at each other, Peter overheard the father say, “It’s so good to see you, son. I’ve missed you so much.”
The boy smiled shyly, averted his eyes and replied, “Me too, Dad.”
Standing up, the man gazed into his elder son’s eyes (the boy was maybe nine or ten years old) and, cupping the boy’s chin with his hand, he said, “You’re already such a fine young man, Nathan, I love you very much.” With that he took the boy in his arms and gave him a long tender hug.
While all this was happening a baby girl was eyeing her father and squirming excitedly in her mother’s arms, never once taking her eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man turned to the child now and said, “Hi baby girl!” as he gently took her from her mother’s arms, kissed her face all over, and pulled her to his chest, rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.
After several long moments he handed his daughter to his elder son, declared , “I’ve saved the best for last,” and proceeded to kiss and embrace his wife. After a long moment, they drew back to look at each other. He stared into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed, “I love you so much.”
As they stood staring into each other’s eyes, holding hands with both hands and covered in smiles, they reminded Peter of newlyweds, though he knew from the ages of their children that couldn’t possibly be.
All of a sudden, Peter became awkwardly aware of how engrossed he had become in this wonderful display of unconditional love, no more than an arm’s length from him. In that moment he began to feel uncomfortable, as if he had intruded on something sacred. But he was amazed to hear his own voice asking, “How long have you been married?”
“Been together fourteen years, married for twelve,” the stranger replied without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife’s face.
“How long you been away?” Peter asked.
The stranger turned to him now, smiled, and said, “Two whole days.
“Peter was stunned. He had guessed, from the intensity of their greeting, that the man had been gone for weeks, if not months. Two whole days, he thought to himself, and smiled. Now embarrassed, hoping to end his intrusion with some semblance of grace, Peter offhandedly said, “I hope my marriage is that passionate after twelve years!”
Suddenly the man stopped smiling. He looked straight into Peter’s eyes with a forcefulness that burned straight through to his soul, and he said something that left Peter a different man:
Don’t just hope, friend, decide!”
And with that, the stranger picked up his bags and he and his family strolled off.
Peter was still watching them disappear into the distance when his friend came up to him and said, “Whatcha looking at?”
Peter smiled and, without hesitating, replied, “My future.”
Great relationships don’t just come to those who hope for them. Hope is worthless unless coupled with real effort. Great relationships belong to those who decide to put in the effort and make them a priority. Don’t just hope … decide!
Please click below to read the first chapter!