Merlin's Mustache

Little did I realize that after my late Thursday evening rantings, that one of the best possible scriptures to guide our thinking in the aftermath of our processing that prior post and beyond, is indeed Romans 14, which was front & center when I opened my One Year NIV Bible Friday morning. Not merely a coincidence! So, here it is, again in the Message, or you choose your preference. As I said, our challenge is systemic; both we individually; AND/OR, we collectively. Only by Love of God, can we and will we, move forward in His Unity, in step with Him, for our good, and His Glory! I pray as you slowly and prayerfully read these words, so that His Spirit will reveal to you exactly the thoughts and actions that will best serve His timing & destiny specifically for you in your circles of influence. Enjoy!

Romans 14:1-23 (MSG) 

1.Welcome with open arms fellow believers who don’t see things the way you do. And don’t jump all over them every time they do or say something you don’t agree with—even when it seems that they are strong on opinions but weak in the faith department. Remember, they have their own history to deal with. Treat them gently.
2. For instance, a person who has been around for a while might well be convinced that he can eat anything on the table, while another, with a different background, might assume all Christians should be vegetarians and eat accordingly.
3. But since both are guests at Christ’s table, wouldn’t it be terribly rude if they fell to criticizing what the other ate or didn’t eat? God, after all, invited them both to the table.
4. Do you have any business crossing people off the guest list or interfering with God’s welcome? If there are corrections to be made or manners to be learned, God can handle that without your help.
5. Or, say, one person thinks that some days should be set aside as holy and another thinks that each day is pretty much like any other. There are good reasons either way. So, each person is free to follow the convictions of conscience.
6. What’s important in all this is that if you keep a holy day, keep it for God’s sake; if you eat meat, eat it to the glory of God and thank God for prime rib; if you’re a vegetarian, eat vegetables to the glory of God and thank God for broccoli.
7. None of us are permitted to insist on our own way in these matters.
8. It’s God we are answerable to—all the way from life to death and everything in between—not each other.
9. That’s why Jesus lived and died and then lived again: so that he could be our Master across the entire range of life and death, and free us from the petty tyrannies of each other.
10. So where does that leave you when you criticize a brother? And where does that leave you when you condescend to a sister? I’d say it leaves you looking pretty silly—or worse. Eventually, we’re all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God. Your critical and condescending ways aren’t going to improve your position there one bit.
11. Read it for yourself in Scripture: “As I live and breathe,” God says, “every knee will bow before me; Every tongue will tell the honest truth that I and only I am God.”
12. So, tend to your knitting. You’ve got your hands full just taking care of your own life before God.
13. Forget about deciding what’s right for each other. Here’s what you need to be concerned about: that you don’t get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is.
14. I’m convinced—Jesus convinced me!—that everything as it is in itself is holy. We, of course, by the way we treat it or talk about it, can contaminate it.
15. If you confuse others by making a big issue over what they eat or don’t eat, you’re no longer a companion with them in love, are you? These, remember, are persons for whom Christ died. Would you risk sending them to hell over an item in their diet?
16. Don’t you dare let a piece of God-blessed food become an occasion of soul-poisoning!
17. God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.
18. Your task is to single mindedly serve Christ. Do that and you’ll kill two birds with one stone: pleasing the God above you and proving your worth to the people around you.
19. So, let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault. You’re certainly not going to permit an argument over what is served or not served at supper to wreck God’s work among you, are you? I said it before and I’ll say it again: All food is good, but it can turn bad if you use it badly, if you use it to trip others up and send them sprawling.
21. When you sit down to a meal, your primary concern should not be to feed your own face but to share the life of Jesus. So be sensitive and courteous to the others who are eating. Don’t eat or say or do things that might interfere with the free exchange of love.
22. Cultivate your own relationship with God, but don’t impose it on others. You’re fortunate if your behavior and your belief are coherent.

BOTTOM LINE: 23. But if you’re not sure, if you notice that you are acting in ways inconsistent with what you believe—some days trying to impose your opinions on others, other days just trying to please them—then you know that you’re out of line. If the way you live isn’t consistent with what you believe, then it’s wrong. 

Greetings Readers: Thanks for your prayers yesterday. The day went faultlessly. It was really interesting the anointing I felt even the evening before when not able to sleep, I just relaxed & spent time in prayer for the big picture of our remaining years, not just the next 24 hours. And while at the Orlando airport, I received an email to read Romans 12 and I did so in The Message, often. And then spent much of the day just reading & browsing scripture, especially Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians & Colossians. Later, I worked creatively attempting to edit that days Utmost reading, the teaching of disillusionment. Its first two sentences were very difficult for me to understand, hence I worked to clarify… may share it later.

A few minutes ago I felt compelled with the extra time you enjoyed to mull over the past post, I’d best continue by exposing you to my edited summary of chapter One: CREATE MEANING WITH SMALL WINS. So very relevant today regardless of our age, assignment, or circumstance! Enjoy.

          What will you do today that will make a difference tomorrow? Author Tom Rath, at age sixteen, began focusing on this question after loosing sight in his left eye because of the rare VHL gene mutation that shuts off your natural occurring tumor suppressor, which causes continual cancerous growths throughout the body. Tom will spend a week every year for the rest of his life in a medical center for scans and testing followed up by the appropriate operations or therapies. Hopefully, this annual week of diagnostics results in a fresh 12 – month lease on life – which is renewed annually – and energizes me to make a difference every single day I have! Anyone relate? It’s been nearly 33 years now since my initial diagnosis, and I continue to live somewhat on borrowed time, investing my life working on what will continue to grow even after I’m gone. Trying to create a little meaning each day has also kept me from dwelling on a genetic condition beyond my control, learning far more about living than I have worried about dying, because the reality is, nobody knows if their lease on life will last days, years, or decades.

          Harvard Business study concluded that “of all the events that engage people at work, the single most important – by – far – is simply making progress in meaningful work”, and that creating meaning is an evolutionary process, as opposed to a grand purpose that suddenly falls in your lap. Small wins generate meaningful progress. It is these little moments, not grand actions, that create substance and meaning

Abandon the Pursuit of Happiness

          The pursuit of meaning – not happiness – is what makes life worthwhile. Thomas Jefferson’s “pursuit of happiness” in the Declaration of Independence, is a shortsighted aim. Putting your own well-being before well-doing pulls you in the wrong direction.

          Scientists are still uncovering the reasons why the pursuit of happiness backfires. Part of the explanation lies in its self-focused nature. Research suggests that the more value you place on your own happiness, the more likely you are to feel lonely on a daily basis. When participants in experiments were deliberately induced to value happiness more by reading a bogus article extolling the benefits of happiness, they reported feeling lonely. And samples of their saliva indicated corresponding decreases in progesterone levels – a hormonal response associated with loneliness. Seeking your own happiness and nothing else results in feelings of futility.   

Swim in the Deep End of Life

          Happiness & meaningfulness are two distinct human conditions, with their differences exhibiting clear implications for how people spend/invest their time. Pursuers of happiness without meaning is what psychologists call “takers” characterized as a relatively shallow, self-absorbed or even selfish life, whereas “people leading meaningful lives get a lot of joy from giving to others.” 

          Psychologist Roy Baumeister points out that it is not the pursuit of happiness but the pursuit of meaning that sets humans apart from animals.

          Happiness and meaningfulness also appear to have distinct influences on physiological health. When participants in a study led by U of NC Barbara Fredrickson were happy, but lacked meaning in their lives (defined as pursuing a purpose bigger than self), they exhibited a stress-related gene pattern that is known to activate an inflammatory response. They had the same gene expression pattern as people dealing with constant adversity have. Over time, this pattern leads to chronic inflammation, which is related to a host of illnesses, like heart disease and cancer. Fredrickson noted, “Empty positive emotions…. Are about as good for you as adversity.” In contrast though, participants who had meaning in their lives, whether or not they characterized themselves as happy, showed a deactivation in this stress-related gene pattern. In other words, their bodies did not act as if they were under constant duress and threat.

BOTTOM LINE:

Participating in meaningful activities elevates your thinking above yourself and your momentary needs. Every minute you can set aside your own happiness for the sake of others will eventually lead to stronger families, organizations and communities. In the end, the pursuit of happiness and “success” will pass. What endures is creating meaning in your own life and in the lives of others.

NEXT UP:

No idea. Yet! But I just signed back in on the blog to offer you the opportunity to pray for a Erb cousins reunion that will begin this evening near Dublin OH. I understand only three of the nine (two dec.) of Uncle Omar & Mary Ann (Roth) can attend, but they expect over 40 persons of the thriving extended lineage to join in. Uncle Omar was my fathers oldest brother, who indeed set the pace not only for his family, but also for the ensuing nephew & nieces. Three of my first cousins reportedly are not able to attend, one actually now living in the original Amenia ND house, and the other two in Phoenix and Portland. Interesting, the three not attending are on my blog mailing list. We pray for those attending traveling safety, good health & circumstances throughout the event, so that relationships can be formed, renewed, broadened, even healed if need be, and enhanced such that as we all march to that Celestial City, each on our respective journeys, ever thriving, ALL being for our good, and His glory!

If you like history, early on, Omar moved his small family from Beemer NB to Amenia ND to purchase one of the federal government’s turn key Red River Valley 160 acre farms with a house, barn, and the necessary supporting out buildings; all built on six foot of topsoil, some of the richest in the world, the Red River Valley. I’m not complaining, but when Grandpa Erb moved in 1943 as did two more of Grandpa’s brothers from NB to the Frazee MN area, just 60 – 70 miles east of Amenia, just a bit beyond the RRV Lake bed sediment, we ended up with “little or no topsoil but plenty of clay, rocks & mosquitos with 412 lakes in our county, and my dad paid cash for his 160 acre rock pile garden by picking corn by hand (before corn pickers were common yet) two winters for relatives and neighbors in NB.

BOTTOM LINE TO THIS HISTORY EXCURSION:

In 1975 when Jon & Carol Fielitz was well into launching Central Rental and I was employed at an undercover federal agency to administer applications from hospital and nursing homes for their certificate of need to expand, or, even as start-ups, such as the Rittman Apostolic Homes original application , plus facilitating, establishing and expanding Emergency Medical Services (EMS) throughout the seven Counties we had jurisdiction. During that 18 months, I had the bright idea of recruiting some of this eastern US Mennonite money & family energy for the struggling North Central Conference (NCC) congregations back home covering eastern MT, ND, MN, & western WI. When I left for Hesston in ’66, NCC had 22 congregations with 700 member, and two congregations were over 150. NCC enjoyed an flux of talent and families on occasion, but this was years prior to the hospice care definition, or even MCUSA’s attention as focused by Conrad L Kanagy’s book, “Road Signs for the Journey.” FYI, fast -forward to 2020, the remaining 5 congregations voted to disband NCC that were assimilated elsewhere; proof that it does take more than mere culture to continue, even in good times.

So now it is 1975, and I get this wild idea of contacting both Gospel Herald and Christian Living about doing an atricle, even an ad of some dimension, perhaps someone from the early days of the Bargain Hunter could help me. I’m not sure if Marlin Miller of Plain Values was even born yet, and MCC, was in their global world peace emphasis heady while teething on the success of their post Vietnam War culturally in-synch Relief Sales that was funding and breathing new life into the existing MCC framework, way beyond what water (Coins Count) has contributed to MCC in the last five plus years… I didn’t get a reply. Now I know better now. Such transitions take both financial and spiritual savvy. I possessed neither or even the knowledge of either!

This winter I met the Holderman gentleman from IN that had the vision 5-6 years ago to go to Panama with 5-6 families and mesh into the fabric of the Volcan community. You know, Holdermen are real easy to spot and converse with if you’re so inclined. And I also found evidence of their online tract ministry with amazing resources for spiritually deficient in a coffee shop in David, the second largest City in Panama, less than 30 minutes from their community.

I personally watched the Lancaster Amish first enter the Shiloh OH community in ’74 when I poured a footer for a new silo and then returned in ’89 when there were a hundred plus families living there and many of the dairy families were my lab customers.

And now I look at my home community of Scandanavians around Frazee MN community that is well on the way to having 100 Amish families living now on those back muddy township roads thriving with their cottage industries, 20 years after the traditional NPK agricultural methods and liquid manure destroyed nature’s life cycles. Rather than composting and gardening to rebuild what little top soil was there, it is now ready for the Amish to settle it again, much as the early immigrants did from Germany, Norway, Finland, Sweden, even Denmark, when the came to the upper midwest 150 years ago with the methodology, truth be told, invented by the educated persecuted priests of the Anabaptist movement who were forced into the hinterlands of Europe who developed rotational cropping, legumes, dairy breeds, etc that in time revolutionized European agriculture as I personally witnessed in Kosovo, and in time, was brought predominately to the Great Lakes Region of the US, and many of us Anabaptists, were unwittingly, brought full circle to become again a recipient!

And now just this morning, I get this email from Anabaptist World; titled “Faithful Voices, Fresh Perspectives.” In fact, the best thing I can likely do with it is just non-judgementally post it in it’s entirety for you to read, absorb, interpret, & process.

Hey, dear Anabaptist World reader!

I don’t know where you find yourself in life’s journey. You might be just starting out after college, in the midst of the very full years of work and family, perhaps enjoying retirement or anywhere in between.

In our profession of faith-focused journalism, we know our primary paid print subscribers are usually 50 years and older. And even though that is true, it is also true that our readers desire to see and learn about how the younger generations are participating in their faith and communities.

That is also true for our AW staff. We are always trying to find content about or written by youth and young adults. As part of this pursuit we are launching — in partnership with The Coalition to Dismantle the Doctrine of Discovery, Mennonite Action and Anabaptist Climate Collaborative — a new youth zine named A Dangerous Faith.

All the content will be by and for youth and young adults. Our goal is to publish at least three times a year and have a dedicated space on the AW website for even more pieces by our young sisters and brothers. We hope this is both inspirational and community-building. We want to give them space to share for themselves what their faith means to them and where they feel God’s presence in their lives and the world. The pages will be in their voices and provide opportunities for them to explore faith practices through reflection and action.

Become a member of AW Friends to help amplify the voices of Anabaptist youth and young adults >

I’m so excited and grateful to have such awesome partner organizations building this with us. I would have loved to get my hands on something like this when I was a teenager. (yeah, I only had the Builder, Youth Christian Companian (later PURPOSE ?) Gospel Herald, and Christian Living!)

Another way AW tries to build up young adults is through internships. Over the years, we’ve had a number of gifted individuals work with us as they explore where they want to go professionally. Most recently, we’ve published a series on Climate Stewards by Sierra Ross Richer, who was an AW intern.

As the only independent Anabaptist publication in the United States, we believe it is part of our responsibility to help form the next generation of Anabaptist journalists and writers. Not only that, but it is a joy to do so! If you are reading this and you feel young, maybe a bit inexperienced but with an idea of an article, theme or lead, please know we want to hear from you. Please don’t let that stop you from sharing your heart, thoughts and experiences.

Support our community efforts by becoming a member of AW Friends today >

The rest of us who are a bit further along in our journeys want you to be at the table.

For those of you who are reading this and know exactly what I mean and also yearn for our youth to be energized participants in communities of faith, thank you for making space for them with us here at Anabaptist World.

We are in the middle of our summer membership drive, and more new members translates into more resources to dedicate to initiatives that invest in our amazing young people.

Please, join us today and become an AW Friend with our membership program by giving $10 or more a month. In return, you’ll know that you are doing something to fight for independent journalism for our faith communities. We will give you exclusive AW swag, a monthly members-only newsletter with behind the scenes information about AW, and you’ll have special opportunities to speak into our work.

It’s tough out here in the print journalism world, folks, so please help us build a sustainable future for our work.

In gratitude,

Danielle Klotz, Executive Director
Anabaptist World

merlin’s rantings continue…

To be fair, understand I just received my July 2025 edition of the Sword and the Trumpet in my Dalton PO Box before I left. Most of you have never heard of this publication, and suffice it to say, likely few of the graduates of our Mennonite Colleges & Seminaries have either. Founded in 1929, “It is committed to defending, proclaiming, and promoting the whole Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ, as revealed in the Holy Scriptures. It emphasizes neglected truth and contends for the “faith which was once delivered to the saints. This publication exposes and opposes doctrinal error which compromises faith and leads to apostasy.”

On one hand, if you’ve read my Aug 22 post titled “My Insurance Man emailed this Farewell Mon Eve,” and others, you’ll understand then why this letter from Danielle Klotz causes me to internally weep, lament, and … as did the exiles in Babylon. I realize this letter may take me awhile, even months, to fully process. Remember this fermentation for church growth began for me in already in 1975! On the other hand, I want to be hopeful from the Klotz letter, but I’m skittish, and understandably so, first by big Agriculture as I traced its rise and fall since the Anabaptists to the Amish resettling now bankrupt shells of chemically broken down farms that were the proper methodology formerly thriving Scandinavian farms until the 1970 farming economics sucked their financial wells dry!

And then, perhaps,even more distraught on the church side, even more dubious for a meaningful God inspired intervention. Many of you are much better versed about past & current Mennonite Church history than I. Yes, the problem is systemic, both by us individually, but also, as churches & conferences, corporately. There have been and are valiant attempts to right the ship beginning with the vision of Daniel Kauffman (1865-1944), The Sword & the Trumpet mentioned above, and most recently, by Conrad L. Kanagy to the Mennonite Church at large, in his book “Road Signs for the Journey.” I’d be greatly remiss not to include Christian Aid Ministries (CAM) favorite son & author, Gary Miller, for he in my humble estimation, has more winsomely, practically and theologically positively impacted the Anabaptist gospel perspective than any one person, pastor, author, evangelist, etc. since Daniel Kauffman, mentioned above, for whom I’m strongly considering printing his bio from the July 2025 issue from Sword and the Trumpet so we latter rain Menno’s get a glimpse of what might constitute a worthy standard? But again, who will listen to such a “foreign sound or message?” Reminds me of Paul visiting Athens, and addressing their “Unknown god.” Anyone relate?

Personally, at 76, I now just focus on the individual souls God places in my yet visible cross-hairs and compels me to gently, lovingly invitationally interact with them to discover their life’s bottom line for them today; not their past glories, not some future grandeur, but right now! And that can take a couple sessions over weeks, even months, or if on a hospital bed, it may resemble more of a McDonalds drive-thru.

Funny thing, that I was so compelled to go back into the completed blog and add that prayer request for my cousins reunion three hours ago, and even more so, that I obeyed. At that moment, I had a head ache, was ill, had cracked a rib sneezing about 3 pm today (OI caused. I do know ribs better than likely any of you!), and was definitely ready for bed when I started. Now, I’m feeling good (rib still pains me) and I’m ready to fix the leak under the sink! Blessings to each of you. And if you still need a lift, read Romans 12! It worked for me!

Greetings All:

I’m sorry if you’re tired of me referencing this book again, but author Tom Rath has been front & center in my sub-conscience, likely more than any other author except for maybe Dr. Henry Cloud, for the past 5-6 years since I first read Rath’s Eat Move Sleep book. I find it difficult that it took me until last fall to be “compelled” to order his decade old book Are You Fully Charged?  (AYFC) Even stranger, he has authored several others I’ve not yet even researched, perhaps this winter. I say all that to suggest that for right now, just read this prologue slowly and carefully and see if it just might resonate with the passion and desires of your heart as well as the mission of your soul for the hours we each have left to serve Him. More opportunities ahead.

Tomorrow, July 30, is a big day. We’re driving to Orlando Airport at 2 AM from Sarasota to fly to Panama to begin our second trial winter. We’ve been preparing for this since early June and the day is finally here. Pray for His protection and that we complete all the hoops in Panama City with the vets to bring our puppy Angel into the country. Blessings to all.

PROLOGUE:

When you are fully charged, you get more done. You have better interactions. Your mind is sharp, and your body is strong. On days when you are fully charged, you experience high levels of engagement and well-being. This charge carries forward, creating an upward cycle for those you care about.

          I am far more effective in my work on days when I am fully charged. I am also a better husband, dad, and friend. More notably, I can do more for others. However, until recently, it was unclear to me what specific actions create this daily charge.

          I’ve spent my entire career studying workplace engagement, health, and well-being. While I have written several books on these topics, the greatest challenge I have faced personally is how to integrate findings from my research into my own daily routines. After all, knowledge does little good unless I can change my behaviors.

          Fortunately, a new body or research has recently emerged that focuses on creating daily well-being. Historically, asking people questions and tracking their actions was time consuming and expensive. As a result, researchers gathered broad, general information about people’s lives and work. Most research on well-being over the past century was based on asking people about their lives over the span of years or decades.

          When people are asked to reflect on an entire lifetime, the first things they think of are broad concepts like health and wealth. The problem is, these general measures are not very practical for improving people’s lives on a daily basis. Health is the sum of many years. Wealth is not created in a span of days. This is why a different way of measuring what’s important in life is crucial.

The Science of Daily Experience

          The time and cost of tracking what people do are now remarkably low. It is much easier to measure thoughts, feelings, and behaviors on a daily, even momentary, basis. New technology enables scientists to ask people what they are doing at various times of the day, who they are with, and how much they enjoy an activity. Sensors and wearable devices can even measure how people are doing, with no input required from those wearing devices.

          These technologies, paired with innovative research methods, have led to a rapid expansion in knowledge about the central elements of daily well-being. Researchers call this daily experience, which is the product of positive and negative experiences (or positive and negative affect) throughout the day. Daily experience is measured by asking people whether they have emotions like happiness, enjoyment, stress, and other feelings within a given day. This distinction between daily well-being and broad evaluation of life satisfaction is important because it leads to very different conclusions about the best investment of time and resources.

          Traditional measures of life satisfaction, for example, might suggest putting a great deal of energy into increasing your income. Yet, although life satisfaction scores continue to increase (almost indefinitely) with income, making more money does not actually change daily experience once people reach an income threshold.

          In the United States, for example, daily well-being does not show any statistically significant increases after someone reaches $75,000 of annual household income. While this figure has received a good deal of attention, people tend to miss the fact that almost all of gains in daily well-being associated with increases of incomes occur below the $40,000 level. Essentially, a certain income level is necessary for food, shelter, and preventing daily worries, but once you have reached that basic level of financial security, making more money is unlikely to lead to better days.

          The study of daily-well being is also upending the conventional wisdom that wealthier countries have happier citizens. In the past, when scientists looked at life satisfaction, the wealthiest countries were consistently at the top of the national well-being rankings. But when Gallup asked people in 138 countries about their daily experience, the results told a very different story. The country with the highest “positive experience” score was Paraguay, a nation that ranks 105^th in terms of its wealth (measured by GDP per capita). Among the top five countries on this daily well-being index, four were in the bottom half of the wealthiest countries list!

          This research is encouraging to me because it suggests that daily well- being does not depend on accumulating riches or living in a wealthy country. The more I’ve learned about the difference between long-term evaluation and daily experience, the more I’ve grown to understand the importance of the latter. Personally, I care a lot more about laughing, smiling, and enjoying moments with my wife and kids today than I might rate my overall life satisfaction 10 years from now. And trying to help people improve their day-to-day experiences is more practical than trying to improve their life satisfaction over time.

          Your own satisfaction with life certainly matters. But you create meaningful change in moments and days, not years and decades. It is easier to improve your own happiness – and the well-being of others – when you focus on doing it right now. Taking small meaningful actions today is the best way to make changes. And eventually, these small changes will lead to important long-term outcomes.

The Three Keys to a Full Charge

          To discover what creates a full charge, my team and I reviewed countless articles and academic studies, and interviewed some of the world’s leading social scientists. We identified and catalogues more than 2600 ideas for improving daily experience. As we narrowed down the concepts to the most proven and practical strategies, underlying patterns continued to surface. Three key conditions differentiate days when you have a full charge from typical days:

          Meaning:  doing something that benefits another person

          Interactions:  creating far more positive than negative moments

          Energy:   making choices that improve your mental and physical health

          When we surveyed more than 10,000 people to see how they were doing across these three areas, we found that most people struggle on a daily basis. For example, when we asked them to think about their entire day yesterday, a mere 11 percent reported having a great deal of energy. Clearly, most people are operating well below their capacity.

          As a result, they are less effective in their work. Their interactions with friends and family are nowhere near as good as they could be. And their physical health worsens as days with too much stress and too little activity accumulate. It is time for this to change.

 BOTTOM LINE:  

       The good news is that you don’t have to go on a retreat in the woods to find meaning, you don’t nee to find new friends at a cocktail party to have better interactions, and you certainly don’t need to run a marathon or embark on a fad diet to create physical energy. The biggest changes for your daily well-being start with a few small steps.  

NEXT UP: We’ll see when we get back to our Boquete home again. May take a few days off!

Plain Values July 25, 2025

Words by Ferree Hardy

The summer before my first husband, Bruce, died, we took a rare walk down the street behind our house. Just as rarely, we talked about our future instead of the usual concerns involving our children or the church Bruce pastored. The setting sun cast long shadows and golden rays as it neared the tree-lined horizon. The air was calm and light, and so were we. This was just a leisurely stroll after supper.

We wondered out loud, “What lay ahead for us?” Bruce had been pastoring Riverview Church in Novelty, Ohio for almost seven years. He’d pastored two other churches before coming here. In each one, at the six or seven year mark, it just happened that another church would ask him to come to them. Would we sense God’s calling and be moving on to a different church once again?

Our roots were settled deep with this congregation. When we were first married, they called Bruce to be their first youth pastor. Now he was back as their senior pastor. The teenagers we’d loved so much when he was the youth pastor were young adults now—marrying and starting their own families. I taught their children in Sunday School and Children’s Church. Our own children were teenagers, involved in the church youth group, baseball, and a variety of school events. We’d purchased a home. Life was good.

I had even given notice at my full-time job that I’d be leaving at the end of the year, or as soon as we could find and train my replacement. I was looking forward to being a full-time mother and wife. Staying home would be a huge—but welcomed—change.

Yet, we both sensed that there was something more—that a deeper level of change was out there. What was it, and how should we prepare? We were blissfully, and blessedly, unaware of the brain aneurism that waited ahead in the dead of winter.

When I interviewed Marlin and Sharon Beachy for their story* last month, they told me something that I didn’t have room to include then, but it’s fitting for today. They said, “We don’t want to know the future.” I agreed wholeheartedly, and we had a great conversation. Isn’t it better to live each day as if it’s our last? Life is precious; the people in it are precious. If we knew our “expiration date,” it might consume us with anxiety; some of us might cower and hide. Or if we had plenty of years left, we might squander the here and now.

I wish you’d been in on our talk. What thoughts would you have added? Why not share this article with your community of friends, neighbors, and family and hear what they have to say? I’d love to hear from you too, so please feel free to contact me. My address is at the end of this column. I can learn from you; this is an important topic for your input and perspective.

But let’s continue the walk from those many years ago. After some moments of silence, Bruce and I came to the end of the street. Dried grass and wildflowers—Queen Anne’s Lace, the papery blue flowers on chicory, and the deep brown seeds clinging to stems of curled dock brushed lightly as we turned and headed back home. As our house came into view, so did the plan. Almost simultaneously we agreed: the next thing we were to do was to “get the house ready.” That was all we needed to know. Whether Bruce was called to a new pastorate and we’d need to sell, or whether we’d stay in this lovely place long enough to see grandchildren running through the living room, “get the house ready,” was a good directive. Innocently, I just thought we’d strip off the old wallpaper and give the walls a fresh coat of paint.

Years later, at lunch with a group of widows in Charlotte, North Carolina, I mentioned this rather mysterious incident. My widowed community gave me the crystal clear meaning of “get the house ready.” Without hesitation, one of the women gasped, “Set your house in order!” She was referring to the Old Testament story of King Hezekiah being told by the prophet Isaiah that his death was imminent. “In those days Hezekiah was sick and near death. And Isaiah the prophet, the son of Amoz, went to him and said to him, “Thus says the Lord: ‘Set your house in order, for you shall die, and not live.’” (NKJV)

Looking back, I realize that although we never connected our plan with Hezekiah’s at the time, God did give us what we needed to know that day. Months later, the day after Bruce died, a carpenter and a designer both knocked on my door. They had no way of knowing what had happened the night before, and they were there for the appointment we’d made to help us “get the house ready.” I was numbed by shock and grief, so I asked them to come in and get started! Awkward and unnerving as that must have been, they did.

Over the next weeks as wallpaper was stripped, the floors redone, and everything was a mess, it pictured perfectly what was happening to my life. My life was being stripped; my footing would never look the same. I understood a bit more of Jesus’s work as a carpenter, and of God’s work as my designer. I don’t want to make light of how painful it was, but widowhood was a fresh coat of paint, new flooring, and much more storage space in my heart.

My community of Plain Values readers, widowed friends, and The Divine Carpenter and Perfect Designer continually gives me cohesion, order, and peace. The wisdom of widows is a priceless perspective. Make sure you see, acknowledge, and consult the widows in your community today.

BOTTOM LINE:

And, like Marlin and Sharon Beachy also told me, “It’s the grace of God that we don’t know the future … Do not dwell on IF your loved one might die. Instead, love them to the fullest.”

The future we plan for ourselves is tenuous at best. We have no guarantees except the never-changing ones from Jesus: God is love, God is good, He cares for you … Therefore, He has the full authority to tell us, “Do not worry about tomorrow…” Matthew 6:34 (NKJV)

Let’s rest our future in God’s hands.

*See “When A Phone Call Marks the Darkest Night,” Plain Values, June 2023.

To learn more about widowhood, order a copy of Postcards from the Widows’ Path—Gleaning Hope and Purpose from the Book of Ruth. It’s a gentle, biblical guide for widows that has many saying, “This is the best I’ve ever read!” Mail a check for $14.99/copy (paperback, 248 pgs.), along with your address to: Ferree Hardy, 76 Grace Ave., Ticonderoga, NY 12883. Please allow 2-3 weeks for delivery.

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Inspired by Wendell with Editorial License by merlin …

We’re living in exciting times. While some folks sit around wringing their hands in growing alarm because of the darkness obviously sweeping into our nation and the world, God is calling His children to step forward in commitment to His service. We have a job to do. This is no joke. We can no longer wait for someone else to do something for we who claim to serve and love the Lord Jesus are the only ones who can truly meet the challenges. WE’RE IT!

I hear your heart Wendell, I really, really do. But let’s consider God’s math now, (remember the prior post about the extra $300 appearing) not our math, for I am expecting God may either raise up multitudes more of new recruits to help, or take down millions of the resistance as needed, OR DO NEITHER, SINCE HE IS GOD, ALL just in time to accomplish ALL of His purposes right on schedule! merlin

            Many generations of Christians have done well at faithfully attending their churches week after week. However, there is no more time for just sitting and soaking it all in! It’s time to move out. It’s time to build on the foundation of faith we’ve all received from those years in church. It’s time for we, God’s people to make our faith come alive and productive by choosing to fully surrender to Jesus’ lordship over our own lives becoming active and intimately involved in the passion and burden of the One we claim to follow.

            Tell me, what more can we possibly learn before we feel qualified to finally enter the ranks of those Christian soldiers who burn with such a love and devotion for their Savior that we are compelled to selfless action? Men and women, sometimes with much, but more often with little or no talent or training, struggle yet press forward, because we really believe what Jesus does and says, by representing in our very lives, the love and grace of a kindhearted Father to a world full of hurting and wandering souls while guiding us toward the promise of a better destiny through Jesus, being the Only way to the Father! That’s it! So simple! Yet it’s so incredibly powerful, like search lights piercing the pervading dark skies.

BOTTOM LINE:

            Guess what? When we finally choose to throw away our lifelong precious earthly safety nets into God’s ever present and available recyclable dumpsters, such as our hard-earned rights and accolades as citizens of Planet Earth, with all of its worries and fears, even our lack of perfection and our skittish self-confidence, realizing that as we let it all Go, Now we can finally become those inviting warm radiant lights representing the love of Jesus Christ shining boldly into the pitch black crevices of a yet imprisoned humanity FOR WE ARE BECOMING His transformed & empowered ambassadors about to make a difference!

GO NOW! Take the light we’ve each been given. Throw off those things that cover it. May we hold our lights high so we can see His opportunities that await us!

NEXT UP:

Time to Change Directions! “Do You Wish You Knew The Future?” Words by Ferree Harder of The Widow’s Path as published by Plain Values July 25, 2025